Friday 13 November 2009

DEVELOPMENT CIRCLE - 10TH NOVEMBER

DH had a School Governor's meeting to attend this week so things were a little more rushed than usual. I'd managed to have my meal and get ready in plenty of time but due to the meeting he got home later than usual, so he had to hurriedly get washed and changed before driving me out to the village. He planned on either visiting a local fish and chip shop for his tea or having a meal in the pub whilst I was at the Circle.

By the time I arrived L and her DD La, S1 and S2 were already there - the conversation I came in on seemed to be about blocks. It seems S1 feels she may be blocking herself too...... and I thought she was doing OK, so it was a bit of a surprise to hear. Aureen thought the best idea was for those who felt they were blocked to practice the Chakra meditations again, but this time doing each one, starting with the Root Chakra, for a whole week before moving on to the next - it would help us to visualise the colours better and to more fully connect with each Chakra. Sh arrived whilst this was being discussed. There was also a few jokes being bandied about amongst us this week, a sure sign that we are feeling more comfortable and settled with each other and allowing more of our true personalities out. :0)

It seemed A wasn't going to turn up this week so, as time was fast moving on, we relocated to the other room to begin this weeks proceedings.

Today Aureen started the proceedings by doing a recap on all that we had covered so far, then went on to read out the piece about the Chakra we were going to meditate on, as all we had done before was culminating with this this final meditation on the Crown Chakra (separate post). With this one we were aiming for oneness/uniting with the Creator, in whatever form we believed in.

As Aureen was doing the recap I became aware that S2, who always sits to my left, was looking at me in quite a concentrated way. I looked at her and she smiled and looked away - I knew instantly that she had been picking something up but I didn't have the opportunity to ask as it was essential to hear what Aureen was saying. Though a couple of times I also had to look over my right shoulder and slightly behind me as I kept getting the feeling that someone was stood there, between me and La, but shook it off and concentrated on what Aureen was saying.

The Circle was opened and we proceeded to place ourselves inside our bubble of protection, grounded ourselves and went on to concentrate on opening each Chakra in turn until we reached the Crown. We focused on the candle flame, then we had to go inside ourselves, listening to our own sound, and allow ourselves to unite with the Universal energy. We had to see what unfolded, if anything, then come back to ourselves.

Sh had another wonderful experience, being shown (from above) lots of beautiful buildings that she thought were temples and other sacred places and more.

S2 said she had struggled to get in to the meditation this week. She found herself in a room that seemed to be fog filled, though it wasn't scary, and in there was a line of people who she knew were there to try and pass messages. She knew she was supposed to be doing the meditation so she asked them to go away, as she'd realised she needed to be able to control things and not have what she can do control her. But she said she had had real trouble with one very forceful female Spirit who wouldn't take no for an answer and had been left feeling quite bullied. Aureen asked if it was a message for someone here (meaning, one of us in the room) and S2 said it was, so Aureen said we would leave it until the end and come back to it then. I just knew it was something to do with me.

Aureen then asked me how the meditation had gone. Well, the Chakra colours were a bit hit and miss again but I felt I'd done OK with it but I can't say I really heard my sound or much of anything else. It did seem that when I closed my eyes the room got extremely bright behind my closed lids - much brighter than the low light from the lamp we have on. She asked me how I felt because I had seemed quite relaxed during the meditation: I said I did feel relaxed and also really peaceful, which was surprising, considering what was happening the next day (my appointment to see the Consultant). Aureen said it was good - it certainly seemed like I was given what was needed.

La said she had connected but had seen a special place she had often visited when she was a child but she didn't want to talk about it, as she would get upset.

L had been pleased with what she had felt - though I can't remember any more.

S1 had been slightly disturbed by half of what she had seen but had been happy with the other half. She initially saw a bubbles of red and a really dirty brown colour but this had then gone on to much nicer images. Aureen felt she had been shown the contrast between darkness and light, Earth and Spirit.

Aureen had felt and heard a heartbeat, firstly becoming aware of her own, then a more encompassing one. A link with the life force in all things.

She then asked S2 to pass on the message, if it wasn't too personal, otherwise it could be left until afterwards, when she could speak to the person on a one-to-one basis. She said it wasn't really personal, then turned to me....... as I was fully expecting her to do. My first words: OK, what have I done now? She said she wasn't sure if it was my Mum or Gran, but definitely a female relation, and she was really in her face: she had one hand on her hip and the other wagging a finger at her, saying tell her that I love her and that I have always loved her and she should know that. I was feeling pretty emotional anyway (thanks to the Consultant's verdict being imminent) so that just got me all teary (again!) and S2 put her hands towards me, with tears in her eyes, and said: Ooo don't or you'll set me off. All the girls looked concerned.

Aureen then said that it was OK, Karan has a lot going on and needs a lot of support at the moment. I gave her a teary smile of thanks. She then asked if I knew who it was and I said that my Mum so wasn't like that, though the Nana's had. S2 said that, not wanting to be rude, but the Spirit had come over as a bit of a b*tch - I said that would definitely be one of the Nana's then.

I realised that I'd been thinking about my Mum's Mum earlier in the day, so it was thought it was likely to have been her, and explained about the horrible way my Nana had treated my Mum, all through her growing up and into childhood (she hadn't wanted another child and the birth had been difficult - she blamed it on Mum!), and how she had carried that over by being lousy to myself and my DBro and DSis. It didn't matter what we did we were always made to feel that we weren't good enough. I said that I was doing my best to forgive it all, acknowledging that holding those negative feelings inside weren't doing me any good, and that I was now beginning to feel sorry for my Nana, as I'd realised that by being like that with my Mum and us she had missed out on so much.

L said my Nana had probably realised that now and perhaps this was her way of trying to say sorry. I guess so....... but it's a shame it's taken until now, for her sake more than anything else.

I thanked S2 and then asked her where the Spirit had been stood. She pointed to a spot just in front of me. OK, not where I thought and I said that I'd got the impression that someone had been stood between La and me. La said that someone was stood there and he still was and wouldn't go away - she was feeling freezing cold because of this Spirit. Aureen said that La should ask the Spirit to step back (he was standing right in her aura) and take it off her and that if ever any of us felt something that we didn't like whilst sitting in the Circle we should also do the same. La did this and started to feel a bit better.

Then the Healing Book was circulated and names were added and La read out the prayer she had written and it was as beautifully written as L's. Aureen then asked who would write one to read the following week.... and promptly looked at me. Please don't look at me, says I. She looked a little taken aback so I explained that I really would like to write a prayer but every time I try to I block (nothing new there then!) - odd, when you think about the amount of healing I've had lately and will continue to have for a while yet. She said not to feel under pressure and that she would never ask us to do anything that we weren't happy to do. I know that but this is something I really would like to do......... the inspiration just isn't there at the moment though. So Aureen said that it doesn't necessarily have to be one that we had written, it could be one that we had come across somewhere and had liked, but she felt that prayer was important and that it was something she felt we should think about more often - not just us but society as a whole - which is why she would like us to write one. OK, I shall see what happens..... she may end up having a piece of paper thrust into her hands one week. LOL

Once again it was time to end the session, so we closed our Chakras, cloaked ourselves and pulled up our grounding anchors, then held hands to close the Circle.

When we'd done this I turned to La and asked if she was OK, as her hand had been shaking the whole time I'd held it - so much so that I'd tried to send some warmth through my hand into hers, to try and help. She said she was feeling better and had actually started to warm up, it was just the after effects from it. Aureen then asked if asking the Spirit to step back had worked and La said it had, she didn't know why she hadn't thought to do it sooner.

As for next week: Aureen said she would have to get her thinking cap on to decide what we would be doing, now that the Chakra meditations had come to a close. We would certainly have more time for receiving messages and said she felt that not only S2, but La and S1 would do particularly well at that. S1 seemed a little surprised by that but, though she seems unsure of herself at this point, she is showing a strong Spiritual connection through what she has seen during the meditations.
Basically Aureen would now start introducing a wide range of things for us to try, such as automatic writing, psychometry, healing etc etc. but we would have to wait until next week to see which one we would be doing first. Whatever it's going to be we are all looking forward to it! :0)

With that Aureen gave us our print outs and we all started heading for the door, with Aureen, L and La wishing me well for the following day. S1 asked what that was about - she had been absent the week I'd been taken into hospital - so I told her what had been happening and she also wished me well. As we were heading down the drive I got the Mia Dolan book (see the review in a previous post) out of my handbag and showed it to L and asked if she had read it, as I'd found quite a bit of what was in there quite useful and related to much of it. She had but S1 hadn't, so I asked if she would like to take it to read and she did. We said our goodbyes then and headed for our cars.

DH was waiting for me........ and as soon as I got in the car I knew he'd gone for the fish and chips option for his tea. LOL (Thankfully that aroma had disappeared the next time we went out in the car). We headed straight home afterwards.

So now it's a case of roll on next Tuesday! :0)

1 comment:

Julie said...

Make sure you take pen and paper into the hospital with you, inspiration always comes at the oddest times.... dont know why i typed that and where that came from.