Monday, 5 October 2009


It was time for my next Reiki session on Saturday 3 October, so back to the Clinic went I for the second visit of the week. When I got there Jan told me there was a stack of books on a table behind the door and to have a look and see if I wanted any. Free books? Now I definitely didn't need a second invitation to have a nosey and these were the two that made it into my bag:

Jan recommended one of the other books to Aureen, so she took that...... but there were about another 5 or 6 left on the table which were destined for a trip to the Hospice Bookshop if no one else wanted them. Not long after this it was time to go through to the Reiki Room.

I told Aureen about realising that I had received something at the last Circle meeting: the name Janice, and that I'd recognised that I not only had to learn to trust what I was being given but also to trust in myself too - she said to make sure to ask the others if the name meant anything to any of them at our next meeting. Aureen then asked how I'd been since the last treatment, when she'd performed psychic surgery on me. I said I recognised how I felt later that day as being shell-shocked but that that had eased over the next few days and lately it felt more like a time of adjustment: I'd been carrying around that ball of grief and guilt for quite some time and, even though it was necessary to my well-being to have that heavy load gone, it had become a part of me....... so it's been about accepting and adjusting to having that part of me "missing" and also adjusting to the changes it's bringing about within. All positive changes I might add. :0)

She knew exactly what I meant and said it was perfectly natural and felt it showed that she had got it all out. I said I knew she had because of something that had happened a little earlier in the week: I was in the shower, washing my hair and letting my mind wander when, for some reason, I started thinking of the last time we'd seen Helen (DH's DSis), which was in Derby Royal's Mortuary, when we'd gone to say our goodbyes - I was OK, perfectly calm; next my mind went to the last time I'd seen Mum, which again was to say goodbye, though at the Funeral Home - this would usually reduce me to a blubbering wreck but no, perfectly calm; then my mind went on to the day dad had passed away in the Hospice, with the three of us (DBro, DSis and myself) by his side - that had me a blubbering wreck. I explained to Aureen that on the lead up to the psychic surgery session I'd been thinking about Mum a lot and had had lots of dreams about her (including the visit, where we finally got to say all the things we hadn't had the chance to before she passed away) and felt that either my subconscious or above (I pointed upwards) - or both - had been preparing me for that session. Now it felt like the same process was happening but this time with my Dad. OK, was her response, then it's obviously time to tackle those issues - she would be undertaking psychic surgery again (Oh joy, thought I LOL) but this time she would be using crystals, which she would place on certain parts of my body during the treatment, so it should help to make it a gentler process.

With that I'd removed my specs, hair scrunchie and all my rings but had left on my amethyst and citrine bracelets and asked if it was OK to also leave on my moonstone pendant, explaining that I wanted to use it as an Angelic talisman and the thinking was that wearing it during the treatment (Aureen gives Angelic Reiki) would help infuse it with that intention. Normally as much metal as possible has to be removed beforehand as it can interrupt energy flows but she felt that this would be fine. Funnily enough she said she had thought about bringing some moonstone with her, to help in the treatment, but hadn't got a piece - I'd just felt myself automatically reaching for it as I got dressed that morning and knew I had to wear it. :0)

As I sat on the treatment bed Aureen asked me what emotions I felt I carried for my Dad: there was grief at his passing and anger that someone of his age should have to go through that but there was also guilt. This guilt was a hard one to talk about and it made me cry as I verbalised it: when Dad had been diagnosed and went through the initial stages of treatment I'd prayed for healing for him...... but as it became obvious that the healing wasn't going to happen I then began to pray that they would take him quickly because it was cancer and he was in pain, and I felt guilty for effectively praying for his death. Aureen explained that those prayers for healing, though they weren't answered on this plane, would have been waiting for Dad when he got to the other side and would have benefited him there. I'd never thought of it that way before but, thinking about it afterwards, it made some sense: he passed away in April, we went to the psychic evening with Ian Lawman in May and received messages from Dad via him - that is awfully quick for someone who had such a painful passing (as we understand it, those souls who had trauma at death spend time in Spirit "hospital" for some time, to help them to adapt and deal with what happened). It was good to know that no prayer is ever wasted. Then I told her that when Dad passed I'd felt relief: because it was cancer and he'd suffered.... but it was tinged with relief for myself too, as it had got to the stage where I wasn't sure just how much more I could take - so some of the guilt was because it shouldn't have been about me at all. OK, we'd deal with it - time to lay down.

Once I was laid on the bed Aureen began straightaway with the opening movements at my head and feet, before starting the music, then stood to my left and asked me relevant questions on if I had to describe the guilt and grief: what shape would it be? I started to analyse but once again something else seemed to click in and I said a diamond (like on a deck of cards but not a flat one - 3-D); what colour would it be? Green, and I said that was odd because I expected it would have been black, like the other; what weight would it be? Heavy; if it had a smell, what would it smell like? Rank; where in my body was I carrying it? I almost said heart, then told Aureen that that was the first word but that I also wanted to say stomach - she said it was obviously both so I told her that would make sense because from the time of Dad's diagnosis and throughout his treatment my stomach had been in knots, I'd grown to dread the phone ringing as it usually meant Dad was bad and we had to make an emergency dash over to Doncaster to help, and I'd suffered three really bad sessions with my stomach (severe diarrhoea, occasionally vomiting and mild fever)..... and it bothers me whenever I get stressed. Plus I told her that the Aura/Chakra pic had revealed that my Solar Plexus Chakra had been closed, instead of spinning - and my stomach had been playing up then too. She said that it made sense for that being where I was holding part of it, told me to relax and close my eyes but try and visualise the diamond as I'd described it and see the Angels come into the room to take it out and away.

So the session began in earnest then and I soon felt Aureen place the crystals on my body: one on my throat; another towards my feet and I'm sure there was at least one more but I couldn't tell you which bit that was placed on (probably solar plexus/stomach area). I did try the visualisation but, as usual, I couldn't really see much of anything - though the colours were swirling quite vividly behind my eyes through much of the treatment. Further into the session I got an impression of that diamond shaped thing and also felt an odd sensation in my heart/stomach area twice, one after the other, almost like a tug..... but gentle. To be honest, although it was proving to be a much gentler experience than the time before, the thought was in the back of my mind that it seemed quite a boring session really.

Hah! It was just a case of the powers that be saving the best until last. Very close to the end of the session I felt a sudden "shock", though I don't like the negative connotations of that word as it wasn't a negative experience at all - but what happened came so suddenly that it certainly startled me and almost made me jump out of my skin: my whole body felt a rush of energy through it then I actually saw the most wonderful rainbow of colours in my minds eye that had me awed........ definitely an Oh Wow moment! I wanted to stay gazing at it but it disappeared just as suddenly as it appeared, though it left me wanting to giggle out loud. When Aureen moved to my feet there were more swirls of colours behind my eyelids and a feeling of white light, especially to my right side which I assumed was from the lamp in the room, and when Aureen moved away to work elsewhere there were still a pair of hands on my feet. When she removed the crystals and closed the session a little later my feet were actually tingling.

As always she asked how I felt. So I told her about my feet, which she said was a good sign. She had removed the diamond thing and my words were: it wasn't a healthy green. No, she likened it to a swampy, gooey kind of green - yes, or that rotten flesh kind of green, which was how it felt to me - either way it had obviously been festering away in there and the gentle tug sensations I'd felt were when it was being removed. Aureen said she'd held her pendulum above the area (which I'd been totally unaware of) and it had swung like crazy in a circle above it but had been much calmer later. She also said my Chakras were also fully cleansed: she'd removed a block on my Third Eye and cleared the Solar Plexus, so I should hopefully find things going a bit better at the Circle now (fingers crossed!). She said she'd also brought in a lot of White Light and that made me smile: I told her about thinking that there was a bright lamp to my right but when I looked the only actual light was an orange glowing heater that was in the far bottom right of the room, pointed towards my feet....... there wasn't any other physical source of light in the room. Then I told her about the rainbow: I likened it to looking into a good quality opal, though without the milkiness and much more vivid, more a kind of fractured rainbow. (I tried to describe it to my friend Alex and she said like a kaleidoscope, which is much more like the look of it - though the colours of that aren't quite right). I do wonder if it was something to do with the crystals.... it was certainly to do with my Chakras, as it contained all the Chakra colours within it. It had certainly left me feeling good and energetic....... a great improvement on the last time. I had some sips of water and was given instructions to take it easy for the rest of the day and to drink lots of water, to help flush any toxins out. I thanked Aureen and she walked me back through to Reception where her next client soon arrived, so I said my goodbyes.

Jan was Receptionist again, so I got the tablets and tea I needed added to my bill and paid. She was on her own so we got talking about a couple of things, including something she'd told me on a previous visit to do with her strained relationship with her DSis: it was odd how the chat led on to that but it just seemed like it was meant, somehow. Some of what I said to Jan really hit home later: that in every situation, even the most negative ones, there is usually something positive to come out of it - it's just a case of realising it, then recognising what that positive is and being grateful for it - and that without experiencing those negatives we probably wouldn't be who we are today. I've since been looking at various happenings through my life with a different perspective, even in my dreams, and that's led on to some letting go of all kinds of negative thought patterns and feelings that I'd realised were only serving to harm me..... and that has been another positive step forward. :0)

The conversation concluded we said our goodbyes and I left, absolutely buzzing with energy. I popped into the Hospice Bookshop (yes, again! LOL) and was glad I did as I found this:

This one is not only about the archaeology of Stonehenge but about the era it was in, so it looks at the people of Britain and Ireland from that time, their physical characteristics, tools, weapons, clothing etc etc as well as how they lived. I couldn't resist, so it came home with me. Next I popped into Sew Easie, as it had been a while since I'd last been in, to have a look at the ribbons and trims and managed to find a few that were new, so that meant a few nice additions to add to my finishing stash (unfortunately I forgot to take a pic before putting them away). Then I thought it best to heed Aureen's advice and started heading home, though I did pop in to Tesco Express for a few bits we needed first.

When I got home it was to find that DH was back from the van loading session at the LTC Guild Room. He was amazed that I'd done the shopping and come home on my own, going by how I'd been after the last session. I put the shopping away whilst telling him how different the session had been and what had happened. I did say I wasn't going to push my luck though and that I'd be taking it easy the rest of the day, as advised by Aureen, and that's exactly what I did.

Sunday DH and DS were at the theatre Get In much of the day (unloading the set from the van and setting up it and all the tech stuff - lighting and sound - on the stage and checking it all worked OK) so I had another quiet day that involved completing a Halloween ornie, amongst other things. I also sat up on my bed to meditate whilst DH was home to have his dinner and to watch the Grand Prix, choosing to listen to a guided meditation CD on the MP3 player (it drowned out the sound of the TV. LOL). It was an Angel Healing meditation: I did get quite relaxed during it (a bit too relaxed again, as I kept falling asleep) but can't say I saw or sensed much of anything, then I went on to listen to another meditation CD that was just music. That was also relaxing and I didn't think much of anything was going to happen when Wham! the same sensation I'd had in the Reiki session the day before hit me again, although without the visual this time. I guess something in one of the tracks somehow affected my Chakras and triggered it........ I'll give it a few days before listening to it again to see if the same thing happens - if it does I'll have to ask Aureen about it to see if she has any ideas as to what is going on. In the meantime I'll be sticking to the aura sensing and stretching exercise, with the occasional Chakra meditation thrown in in the hopes that some kind of visualisation will start to happen....... so that should keep me out of mischief. :0)

BTW Julie: yes, I would go to the Spiritualist Church again and DH said he would be happy to as well. He enjoyed the service and the style of readings that were given - and admitted that he was pleased it had happened like that, as he'd been a bit nervous about it.
As for being drawn to particular colours: it could be to do with Chakras or with your Aura. I love sea blues and greens, as well as autumnal colours, and my Aura pic shows mine as a mix of blue and green. :0)

1 comment:

Julie said...

Its almost a year since you started blogging about your journey. Whatever the sceptics (sp?) say, it been wonderful to read about your continuing progress and learn with you, thank you Karan for taking me along your pathway. xxx

Not a lot of stitching happening i guess with 3 more books added to the bookshelf LOL