ACUPUNCTURE - THURSDAY 25TH FEBRUARY

Time for another pincushion session , so off I trotted down the street to the Clinic, to arrive in plenty of time for my 10am appointment.

The receptionist, G, was there again so I said I understood from Aureen that she would be joining us next week and she said hopefully so - she was booked to work a little later that night but would hopefully be able to get there in time, providing she went straight from work. I mentioned that Aureen had said we would be doing a meditation to cut ties and release blockages - she said she could definitely do with doing some of that. I said how we were supposed to have been doing a series of meditations to meet our Spirit Guides but that something kept happening, such as members dropiing out or being ill etc, to stop it..... and smiled and said maybe it was because we were waiting for her to join us. :0)  By this time Janet came through and took me into treatment room 1.

She asked how I had been doing, both with the flushes and at the Circle. The flushes have their moments, with some days when they are barely noticeable.... then others when they definitely are. As for the Circle: I told her about the voice I'd heard that morning and the outcome,but that, though that had been a success, the evening hadn't been so great. I went on to tell her about the message I'd received from S2 (seeing my garden and all the Spirit people there and my reaction within it) and that I'd concluded that it was telling me I was blocking myself. I told her that as I was thinking about it later and wondering about what the block could be.... I'd remembered an incident from my childhood: I was in Infant School, hanging around with a group of other kids in the playground, when one of the girls (J) started to tell us all about these critturs that lived in the drainholes around the playground - she was (to other small children, including me) totally believable; we started rushing round the playground, peering down the drainhole covers..... totally convinced that we could see those critturs in there; she said that the cracks in the walls in the toilets were also caused by these critturs (though I've since forgotten how or why) - so every time I went to the loo and saw these cracks there was a tiny shiver of fear went through me. It stayed with me and that night I remember being sat up in bed in the darkened bedroom, jamming myself as far back into the corner as I could go, because when I looked across the bedroom I could see shapes of figures stood there and their eyes looking at me.... and being totally afraid to close my eyes, in case they'd come and get me. I don't remember any kind of Angelic intervention, as some very frightened children do, or if I managed to drop off to sleep, but I do remember that I had a raised temperature the following day and Mum had to keep me off school for the day, to recover.
Combine this with another memory: when myself, my DBro and DSis were small there was only one light in the hallway, downstairs, which meant the upstairs landing was always really dark and shadowy... and we had to walk up there to get to the bedrooms, with no light until we switched our bedroom lights on. It always creeped me out big time and, talking to my DBro and DSis about it as adults, it seems they weren't too keen either - my DSis said she always used to shut her eyes on that bit "because she didn't want to see anything".
I felt I was being shown that these incidents, especially the first, had something to do with the current block, especially as I'd started to tense up as I talked about them - and recently I've noticed I'm occasionally tensing up within Circle and have had to make a conscious effort to keep re-relaxing myself.

I then told her about a couple of times, pre-Circle, when I had read something about Spirit Guides and had asked to see mine and, when I was in that half and half state, had seen a male figure stood beside my bed and who inclined his head towards me (a sort of I'm here movement, rather than threatening) and then, on a different night, had heard a voice clearly say Hello K. I'd jumped out of my skin both times, heart thumping, and felt scared - and was really annoyed with myself because I'd asked for these things and had had a reply... and had done the typical Most Haunted/Yvette Fielding thing - but without the screaming. LOL

Janet said that it seemed the childhood incidents had set up something called a conditioned fear response and that that would result in a block. She spoke of the Qi (chee) energy that runs through all things and how that can change, as it had while we were talking. As children we are ultra-sensitive to these changes in atmosphere and energy (Qi) but most gradually build up a kind of resistance (block) to it as we get older but as a clairsentient I have kept this sensitivity/awareness so I react to the changes, with the tensing/fear response. Also our Guides and Spirit don't want to do anything that will make us feel afraid, they want to work with those who are fully happy with what occurs, so they may well be holding back because of these responses, perhaps now introducing things in dribs and drabs to get me used to them, so I can get past the conditioned response. The odd thing is though: all kinds of freaky things can happen during a Reiki session (including feeling more then Aureen's hands working on me) and I'm not afraid at all, just accept it as "normal"; things happen in Circle (seeing movement, sensing Spirit, seeing an aura and getting messages etc) and I don't consciously feel afraid but am usually excited or pleased... except for that occasional tensing. And it's something that I really want to do, so don't want to block it. Frustrating!

I then told her that Aureen would be taking us through a cutting cords and clearing blockages meditation the following week which would hopefully help sort me out. Janet said she could also do something to help too. She took my pulses then immediately sat back, hesitated then said OK. and I got the feeling that she was assessing something she had just picked up. She then said I was OK to keep my jeans on this week and asked me to just take my shoes and socks off and get on the bed, which I duly did. She said she would be doing a slightly different treatment this time - not just the hormonal/flushes thing but also something to help remove any energy blockages. OK, I was up for that - anything that will help is a plus. :0)

So this week I had needles: one in my third eye (that beggar gets me every time, LOL); one in my left ear (and that really flippin' stung); one in either wrist (the heart meridian one stung slightly); the hormonal ones in my ankles (the left one slighly stung); a few extra ones around my ankle area, mostly on the right (these barely registered) and the final one in my crown Chakra. The ear one really throbbed when she first put it in and Janet said she would take it out if it didn't settle down... thankfully it did. As soon as the third eye needle went in I got that slightly disorientated feeling again and as each needle was added there was that subtle movement within my body that I've come to recognise as the Qi energy flowing - Janet was pleased when I mentioned this, as it means the needles are working. She then placed the silver thermal "blanket" over my feet and turned on the relaxation music. She asked if I felt OK and was comfortable and I assured her I was, then she said that I was to know that the room had been properly cleansed (not sure if these products are used, but it goives an idea of what is meant) before I went in, as it always was after each treatment, and that I could relax, as I would be perfectly safe throughout the treatment. I said OK, thanks and felt quite drifty by this time, so she turned the main light out and left me to chill.

Some time later (I really don't know how long - time just seems to drift past) she came back in and when I replied to her query that I was OK she warned me to keep my eyes tightly closed whilst she put the main light back on again. She then asked how it had gone and removed the needles. Well, there were the usual Chakra colours - mostly third eye, Crown and healing purple again - and I don't know if it was due to the music, which had a decidedly Oriental theme at one point, but I got the image of a bonsai tree pop into my mind's eye. Janet said that actually, although acupuncture was initially Chinese, the Japanese also took to and ran with it. I also saw an image of a very pretty little dragon - not the usual Chinese style ones (which, btw, I don't like the look of) - and felt it was a fire image, so Janet said she would check my fire energies next time. I told her that I'd felt I'd also got the answer to the blockage problem, as I'd heard: you need to let go of fear. Yes, I know we'd been talking about fear responses etc but, as I explained to her, this came directly after I'd been wondering about why I was blocked - and in the same inner ear way I've received Spirit messages (my Guide?). It was one of those "Derrrr" moments. It's also a kind of fear that caused the panic attacks and agoraphobia, having me hiding away from the world (the mouse, again).... keeping me from doing the things I should be doing..... and which occasionally rears it's head again from time to time...... so I feel it was an all-encompassing message to make me think and give me this insight: if I let go of fear there are no restrictions, no limiting behaviour, I am capable of doing anything and everything I wish to. :0)

Janet then said I was to take my time, only getting up when I felt OK to do so and to have some sips of water. She then told me she had told her Mum about the song I'd heard and Daniel O' Donnell - it seems he was her grandmother's favourite singer, so my thinking of him in relation to the song had been totally relevant. She told me her Mum said thank you and she thanked me again and said that, as I was starting to receive things outside of the Circle too, I was obviously not fully blocked and was also developing more than I thought. It was a heartening thought.... though I just wish I'd been able to give her more of a message. She then left to go to her next client, waiting in room 2.

After a few minutes I got up and sorted, grabbed a box of tea and headed for reception where DH was waiting for me (he'd taken the day off, with having worked the weekend). I made my next appointment for the following Tuesday, as my DSis has a week's holiday then and I'm going to spend a few days with her again, DH paid and I said goodbye to G and said I would see her then and hopefully at the Circle too. :0)

Outside and we headed to the hairdressers, so DH could make an appointment. Then into the Hospice Bookshop where DH treated himself to some CD's and I found these:

Quite a nice range today. Jane: the one on the end is the updated version of the one I mentioned earlier, so watch out for that rather than the other one. I intend reading both versions to see what the differences are.
From here we then had a trip to the Post Office, followed by a quick shop in Wilko's, then went over the road to have dinner in one of the newer cafe's. DH and I were quite impressed with what was on offer, especially as they were aware of food allergies/intolerances and were willing to accommodate these.... it was also a nice atmosphere, so we'll go there again. :0)

When we'd finished our meals and drinks we started heading back up the High Street, calling in at the greengrocers, before going home. The weather wasn't that great and a trawl of the market didn't appeal. We also wanted to go and have a look at some cars before DH had to go for his hair appointment and we're fast running out of time.

We managed to look round two different car traders, seeing what was on offer and the prices expected. I didn't see anything that particularly appealed but it was useful as it allowed me to firm up ideas about what the type of car I would feel happy to drive. It also gave me the chance to rule out quite a few makes as unsuitable for my needs. Hopefully we'll get chance to look round again before too much longer - I want that freedom that keeps cropping up in Spirit messages for me. :0)

DEVELOPMENT CIRCLE - 23RD FEBRUARY

Well this Tuesday certainly got off to an odd start! I was laying in bed and in that lovely half asleep/awake, drowsy mode, vaguely wondering if I should make the effort to pull round and get up but being far too warm and comfy to want to bother, when I clearly heard a voice say: Ken got sick. To say I jumped would be an understatement.... I was lucky I didn't have to change the flippin' bedding! LOL I tried to relax and see if I could get any more than this (who it was, what it was about etc) but it was too late - I was wide awake and unable to relax enough to do it. Plus the fact that I hadn't been aware of being open and it happening outside of the Circle had left me feeling slightly freaked by it. So I made a mental note to ask the girls if it meant anything to them.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, apart from DH leaving it right until the last minute to get in from work, but a quick text to Aureen to warn her that I was running late ensured that she knew I would be there, so she said they would wait for me. :0) Luckily DH made up some of the time on the journey (thank goodness there weren't any traffic cops around, is all I can say! LOL) and I got there just seconds after Sh had arrived..... but it did leave me feeling totally unrelaxed by the time he dropped me off. LOL He went off to visit the local fish and chip shop.

When I got there and had greeted everyone I asked them if Ken meant anything to any of them and there was a general shake of heads from all bar Aureen: she asked why, so I told her what I'd heard and the circumstances it was in. She queried how I'd heard it, so I told her it was one of those inner ear things, rather than with my "proper" ears, but definitely heard. She asked what time it had happened.... well, I couldn't say what time exactly but some time between 9.30 and 10am, give or take a few minutes. She then told me that she used to have a neighbour called Ken, a lovely man who lived across the road, and he used to pop over regularly just to have a wander round her garden or a check of her greenhouse or a chat but had recently sadly passed away and his wife had since had to go into a nursing home. That morning, when opening her bedroom curtains, she had looked over at the house and thought about him and how much she missed him since he'd "got sick" and died. The spooky thing being that she had been thinking this around the same time as I'd heard the words. OK, some might call it a coincidence.... but I don't know any Ken's (which is why it didn't make any sense to me) and I don't know where Aureen lives or anything about her life, outside the few things we've discussed within Circle and before/after Reiki sessions - and that hadn't been one of them.
I've made sure I've noted this in a special book, a kind of Spiritual journal, that I've started to keep, in which I jot down any relevant happenings (such as this). I also jot down notes about specific meditations I do at home and anything that comes through whilst I'm doing them, as well as particular messages the girls have given me etc, leaving a space after each....... I then go back through them occasionally and note anything that has happened since, confirmations received or a fulfilment of what has been seen. It's a good aide memoire..... and it allows me to gauge how my skills, and which ones, are developing.

A didn't turn up again, so Aureen is going to either phone or text her to see if she is OK. She did say that we would hopefully have someone new joining us next week: G, the receptionist at the Clinic, whom I'd been talking to about our group, piquing her interest. Aureen had rung her and had a chat. :0) Time to go through into the other room. Before opening the Circle Aureen took out the Healing Book and read out a few names that had been added (first names only) and their health problems - the most recent ones were people with various forms of cancer, Bless them - then we all prayed for all who needed healing (within the book and all around the world) whilst passing the book around to physically pour healing into it, adding names if we needed to.

Aureen then mentioned the questions we'd asked from the previous week and said that what she tells us is the truth as she is given it and how she sees it, though she doesn't expect us to take it as absolute truth because what is right for her may not be right for us. What we could accept is that she would speak to us in total honesty and it was up to us to do what we wished with it - we should always question and look for our own Spiritual truth. She then told us about a question she'd felt compelled to ask herself some years ago and asked it of us: did we know the difference between Spirit and Soul? None of us did.... but it's one of those questions that make you feel like you should, at some deep inner level, know the answer to. She told us how she asked her earthly teachers (reply: they are the same) and friends (some didn't know, some said the same) and not being satisfied with them. So she then thought to ask her Spirit Guide. Her Guide: they are the same and yet they are not, then used the anology of an apple: look at one and you think of it as a whole, and it is, but look deeper and it is actually made up of parts: the core, the seeds, the flesh and the peel. The seeds are the aspects of a person, each separate but part of and contained by the whole. The core is the soul. The flesh is the Spirit. The peel is the body that contains all, as well as the whole that contains all that is. It was very deep and she did go into more detail but much happened after that so I am struggling to remember it all, unfortunately. It did make us all think and also made a difficult concept much easier to grasp. She had her answer and was satisfied.

Then she came to the questions we had asked the previous week and gave us the answers we had received. I think I'll do a separate post on those though, or this is going to turn into a mega post.

We then went on to open the Circle etc and then, as time was a little short, we went straight into doing Clairvoyance to see what we would all receive, first concentrating on our breathing, then calling our Guides to us and asking him/her to help us receive messages clearly.

When Aureen called us back and turned on the light I had to quickly dig into my pocket and fish out a tissue to wipe my eyes which had everyone concerned. Aureen asked if I was OK and I said yes, it was just that my eyes felt so flippin' irritated it just wasn't funny. She looked and they must have looked it because she looked concerned and said that when things like that happened I had to ask for it to be taken off me. I said I had remembered to do that and had also done the waterfall cleansing thing too and they were just starting to ease off. Because of this Aureen decided to ask me what I'd received. Well not a lot really: initially I'd seen what was either a lotus or pond lily - it made me think lotus, so I thought I was with S1 and into the whole Egyptian thing again.... but then my eyes had started to really bother me and once they had started not a lot of anything else came through. I said that as it was my eyes affected again, and going on the last time that had happened, I would say that Aureen's Mum was there again. She said she was. I had also gone absolutely freezing around my knees, as if something was there, but I couldn't say what - though S1 said she had felt it too, in the same area. Unfortunately I couldn't say any more than that. Sheesh! I seem to be getting worse at this, rather than better. LOL Aureen said not to worry and that it would come.

Aureen had seen the traffic lights for me again.... but this time it was a big green light, for go - that it would be a new beginning and there would so much freedom for me. I know this is referring to my decision to look for a car so I can start driving again, so it was nice to receive this. There was an older Spirit woman with a round, stern face and a slightly heavy (chunky) build who was there pushing me on (basically, go on and get on with it). There was also a male Spirit there for me, a large man and kindly, who passed away in his 50's (too soon) and he showed her a bag of concrete.
I said the woman could fit several of the female relatives on both sides of my family and for several generations back, including the Grandma's. Aureen felt that it probably was one of them (rather than my Mum or further back). The male immediately made me think of my Uncle Bill (or, rather, great-uncle - he was my Grandma's brother) - he died when I was a child and I think he was in his 50's at the time... a sudden heart attack, so definitely too soon. I referred to him as a gentle giant of a man and Aureen said that was a good description of him - I also often think of him, which fits with her saying that he is often around me. I couldn't relate to the concrete, but then I don't know what his job was, so I said I would ask my Uncle T.

S2 next: for S1 she saw something I can't remember, then her in bed and feeling a little sad and fed-up because her leg was bothering her and painful - and she saw a child, not sure about sex but thought it was a girl, about knee height, leaning on her to comfort her, as she didn't want her to be sad. S1 could take the leg business - it had been bothering her and her back had also gone earlier in the week, on the same side, so she had been in pain and fed-up with it all. Not sure about the child, even when I said it was a Spirit child - I wondered if it was a past life child, possibly to do with the Egyptian lifetime.... but no, that had been a baby. The jury is still out on that one.
For me: she saw me in a conservatory type place, full of plants and I wanted to take her out to show her my garden and she was all excited about seeing it. I laughed and said she'd be really disappointed if she actually saw it, which made everyone laugh. She said that I took her out and showed her my garden and it was beautiful, full of all kinds of flowers and a water feature and lots of trees and she was really impressed and kept saying, Wow K, this is fabulous - but I didn't seem to be bothered. She said there were loads of Spirit people there, all around, as if waiting for me and she was really amazed by it all and I said I'll just stop here but when she tried to tell me (sort of trying to encourage or gee me up) I shrugged her off and said: When I'm ready, and again: In my own time.
I said I had a feeling I knew what that was trying to tell me and looked at Aureen and said: that's my Spirit Garden, isn't it? She said it was. And those Spirit people are there, ready and waiting to communicate but for some reason, although I'm aware, I'm not ready - I'll do it in my own time. I said to Aureen that there's obviously some kind of block there... and I wish I knew what it was that I was doing to block it so I could stop. Again she said not to worry and that everything was in place, it would happen.
For Sh: saw her as an elegant and well presented person IRL but she saw an image of her looking a little tousled, in a sunny place, described her costume, and on a lounger and said that by Easter everything would be much better (new beginning, I think). Sh could take Easter and said she only looked like that abroad - nothing like that planned at the moment... but who knows.
For Aureen: saw her Mum again (which confirmed my eye sensations), again with a china cup and saucer in her hand. Brought a gentleman through with her and described him - Aureen wasn't sure who he was, maybe one of her Great's from either side of the family, and asked that if he came through again in the future that S2 try to get more information so she could pinpoint him. He was a jolly man and S2 said he made a joke about her Mum still asking lots of questions, which made her smile.
Aureen saw: lots of fairies around S2 and they weren't going to go away until they'd made her more aware of them - she felt S2 would develop this link and be more aware of them. She also saw a man and described him..... and he was S2's Dad. A photo was described and S2 confirmed she had one just like it.
Sh next: for S1 a cottage in the country, somewhere in Derbyshire, perhaps. A short break or similar.
For me: seemed to go whooshing off across the country, over the white cliffs and over to Austria - mountains. Felt I would be doing lots of walking and enjoying myself but to be careful of doing too much, as she felt something was wrong with a knee as she saw limping. Oddly enough: I had my first ever case of bursitis in my right knee a couple of years ago... whilst on holiday in the Lake District and it has flared up a little since; the previous night DH, DS and I were discussing and finalising our holiday date for this year, with the intention of..... booking the same cottage we stayed in last year, in the Langdale Valley in the Lake District. Sh then wondered if, perhaps, the cottage had been for me too. Either way - I was to beware of over-doing things.
For S2: she saw a large snake which quickly changed into a slippery eel which slipped into a river. Along came S2, walking along the river bank, picking flowers and unaware of the slippery eel, in the water, and following her. Sh felt it was a warning about someone not being quite what they seemed, but it wasn't about anyone in the group... rather she felt it was someone at work. S2 could take it, as she'd had a conversation earlier in the day, at work, about just this thing and she always held back from being totally open with a particular colleague.
For Aureen: lots of daffodils. There was more but I can't remember what it was.
Aureen for her: I can't remember, though it was positive.

S1 next. For me: bird wings which developed into birds, then to huge birds swooping through the sky and one word: freedom. It seems to be the theme for the messages I'm getting lately, along with new beginnings - all very positive and in keeping with the way things are developing in my life at the moment. :0)
She then saw something else (can't remember) then her Dad came to her and he said: Don't. It was a message for either Aureen or S2 (she wasn't sure.... maybe it could have been both): don't go into work tomorrow. Why? Someone was coming down with the flu. S2's reaction was Oh not again! She's already had two bouts of ill health, thanks to colleagues passing their lergy on. I gave her a big grin and said you'll have to wear a mask. I guess it'll be a case of finding out next week.
I'm not sure if she got anything for Sh or not - another one I can't remember. Aureen gave her a message but I can't remember it properly.... the gist was to do with her skills and development, very positive.

Aureen then said she wanted us to close down and close the Circle as she had something to show us, which we duly did. She then went to get an envelope and told us about a trip she had had with friends (somewhere in Yorkshire, I think) where they'd come across an old abandoned Victorian-looking building and gone for a nosey. They'd been joking about buying it and renovating it for them all to live in and had taken some photos of it. Back home and they'd uploaded them to the computer and viewed them and found something unusual in one. She'd brought the blown-up image to show us and ask us what we thought. The photo was of an upstairs window with four panes, two small windows at the top and two larger ones below - the left hand larger one was clearly broken and the darker interior could be seen behind. But it was the other one that was of interest because the grey shadowy image of a man with a moustache could be seen behind it. Then we had a look again.... and images could also be seen through the broken window too. It was a seriously spooky thing to see. It turned out the building used to be an old asylum. It certainly triggered some interesting chat, though I must admit I wouldn't be tempted to buy and renovate it! ROFL

A little more chatting whilst Aureen gave us our print outs for this week and we gathered our things together, then we all started heading for the door. I remembered to tell Aureen about seeing her aura the previous week - the something else I'd wanted to tell her at Reiki but hadn't been able to remember - and described it to her. She seemed quite pleased. We then said our goodbyes and left.

We went home, via Tesco Express for a few bits of shopping. We were both tired, DH particularly so after working the weekend and having a run of 13 hour days, so we soon called it a night.

Angels Watching Over Me - Jacky Newcomb

This book includes miraculous and uplifting stories of real-life contact from our loved ones and Angels on the "other side" of life, as well as a fascinating investigation into the secrets of afterlife communication.

• 
  
  Read afterlife stories about the British royal family, presidents, prime ministers and Hollywood stars!
• 
  
  The grandma who pushed her granddaughter back into her body because it wasn't her time
• 
  
  The mysterious cat who "gate-crashed" a funeral
• 
  
  The Angel Dad who saved his daughter and her friends from a head-on crash by using "missing time"
• 
  
  The grandmother who was escorted to heaven by the spirit of her late husband carrying a bunch of flowers!

Read these and more amazing real-life stories from all over the world. Learn simple and safe ways to reach out to your own family of heavenly Angels. These messages will bring comfort and healing to anyone who has lost someone.

If you ignore the slightly sensationalistic approach of the synopsis what you get is actually another collection of heartwarming stories of after-life communication from ordinary people around the world.

Unlike the other books I've read by this author this one looks more at the after-life, touching on issues such as grief, suggestions for celebrating a loved ones life, connecting to the Other Realms yourself and more besides, all illustrated by stories collated from people who have contacted Jacky about their own experiences.

As someone who is deeply interested in all things esoteric I feel the subjects really deserve a much more in-depth approach than that given but, as Jacky herself states, that just wasn't possible in such a small book. However, if you're new to the whole Angels and after-life phenomena then this book would be a nice starting point.

REIKI - 20TH FEBRUARY

I wasn't actually due to go for my next Reiki session until Monday but a phone call from Jan first thing Saturday morning changed all that - she'd had a cancellation and the 12pm slot was now available. Needless to say, I snapped it up.  I hurriedly got myself showered, hair washed and sorted  and a meal eaten. By the time I'd done everything needed to be done to be ready to leave the time had disappeared on me and I made it out of the door with just five minutes to go.

When I arrived at the Clinic Jan was there as Receptionist and her and Aureen were chatting. They asked how I was doing - great, though in a bit of a whirl and thinking the Universe had had a hand in how things had worked out. When I'd seen Aureen at the last Circle I'd said how odd it would feel to have Reiki on the Monday (it has always fallen on a Saturday previously); DH and I were supposed to have been going off to a Mind, Body and Spirit event in Newark that day but the night before there had been a fire on the steelworks and he'd been called into work to deal with the aftermath, which left me free to take up the cancellation slot. So things had worked out perfectly! LOL

Jan then mentioned the Shamballah Healing Course that I'd expressed an interest in attending. The dates have been changed to April, to the two weekends following on after Easter, and will be held at her new home, which is out in one of the villages. I said I'd definitely need to be mobile by then which made both her and Aureen look startled and ask if that meant I was going to start driving again. So I reminded Aureen about the amber traffic lights and Ready, Go that she'd mentioned at the last Circle: I said that as well as having a set of lights outside my drive there was also something I hadn't mentioned, in the hopes that someone might pick it up - that the weekend before DH and I had actually been to a garage to have a look at a couple of cars that were for sale. The prompt for that was DH telling me that, as he was now Stage Manager for the Blackadder performance in May, he wouldn't be available to take me to Circle on Tuesday night.... and neither would DS, as he's in the performance - my reaction being: OK, then I really need to be mobile by then, don't I? So I'm currently looking for a female instructor I can go to for refresher lessons and on the look-out for a nice little run-around. They both said what a huge step forward that was and that it showed just how much I'd improved. Definitely: I now feel, despite the occasional glitch, a totally different person to the one who first walked into the Clinic back in November 2008. :0)

I made a note of the dates for the course and told Jan to let me know when she needed the deposit for it. She then told me that around the end of March/beginning of April (depending on when she was fully settled in) she was also going to set up a women's group in her home - very informal, it would touch on all kinds of Spiritual things.... the kind of group where we chat and swap ideas, each learning from the others experiences. Hot drinks, cold drinks and snacks would be on offer too. It's just the kind of thing I would love to be involved in, meeting more like-minded people, so I smiled and said that I definitely need to be mobile then! LOL

With that it was time to go through for my session with Aureen. This time we were to be in the other Treatment room, which is usually referred to as the Colonic room as that's where they are given. It had been re-jigged especially and the treatment bed had been moved away from the side wall and placed in the centre of the room. As I took off my rings, brooch, belt etc Aureen and I chatted.  I mentioned about being a little disheartened after the last session but realised that it was down to me, having had a Spiritual hand slap (You get out what you put in) and she said that Spirit was testing me. I had a feeling they were and said that I'd always felt that I would need to work a little harder to prove myself to Spirit after having given up meditation previously.... and though I had felt a little disheartened I certainly wasn't going to give up. I explained about struggling to fit things in, as the days just seem to get away from me quite often and, before I know it, my DS is back from work and it's time to prepare tea and then I have no chance to practice. Aureen said that things got like that for her too, so she tended to do some of her meditations etc when she first goes to bed. I've tried that but usually end up falling asleep.... Aureen said that sometimes happens to her too but it isn't anything to worry about - at least I'd be getting some practice in. So I'll be trying that more often from now on.

I then told her about some research I'd been doing. Since she gave me the message about the holiday in the USA and going to visit Sioux land, every time I thought about it I kept getting the word Oglala. As well as that, whenever I think of my Spirit Guide now I associate him with the name Red Cloud. This week I had a nosey around on the internet and made some discoveries: within the Sioux Nation there are different tribes.... and one of those tribes is called the Oglala Sioux, now living on a reservation in South Dakota; further Googling revealed that there was a Chief of the Oglala tribe called Red Cloud during the 1800's during the wars with the settler's and American Army. It was one of those amazing, jaw dropping moments when I saw all this, as I hadn't had the foggiest idea beforehand. Aureen said it would be interesting to see what happens when we do the Spirit Guide meditations. So hope we are able to do these soon. :0)

I laid on the bed, was covered with the fleecy blanket, the CD turned on and the session begun. I wasn't sure how it would go this week with it being in a different room, and the sun was shining brightly through the blind and right onto my face, making me turn my face to the left slightly to avoid it. I needn't have been concerned though, as I soon settled down and relaxed into it.

At the end of the session Aureen gently called my name and asked how I was and if I felt relaxed, as I'd seemed very much so to her. I did feel relaxed, though not to the extent where it felt like I was going to fall asleep. It had been very good though. I lifted up my right hand to check and it was curled up, though hadn't been aware of it happening at the time, and I said it had felt like someone had been holding my hand - Aureen's reply was that probably someone had been. She then asked what I'd seen. Well, the Chakra colours were there, especially yellow and Spring green when she had her hands over my ears, though I wondered if that was because of the sun shining on me. I'd actually seen my garden - much better than when we'd done the meditation too, as I'd seen flowers. She was pleased because that is what she had started visualising for me at the start of the session and she asked what colours the flowers were. I couldn't say for certain as, although there were flowers and lots of them, I'd seen them more as an after-image than a clear, colour one. She said there were lots of lilacs, purples and lavender colours - with lilac and lots of lavender plants, as well as lots of herbs, along with my fruit trees. I forgot to mention that I'd seen the fairy I should have seen in a previous meditation... or that my reaction had been: fine, so now you show up! LOL

I'd seen quite a few people too: fleeting images of faces and some full figures, male and female, but too quick to say who they were; only two came through clearly, a little girl, stood in front of me and to the left, turned slightly towards but facing away from me, and a man. The man was stood in front and to my right, facing towards me, and I described him as a typical Moses type figure, with long white hair and beard, stood tall and with a staff of some kind in his right hand. Aureen had seen him too and said she'd initially thought he was a shepherd holding a crook but felt my description fitted him better. Not too sure who he was or where he fits into things.... but I guess that might come up at some point in the future.

There were times when I couldn't tell where Aureen was - she'd have her hands on certain areas, move.... but hands were still there and at one point she was stood to the right of my head and it also felt like there was someone stood at the left side too, and for quite a while. I also saw Angels in my minds eye. I didn't see them the same as I'd seen the figures though, which had been distinctly figures, albeit fleeting. The Angels had the general swept up wings and long gowns shape that is reminiscent of the "people with wings" ornaments you can buy but were totally made up of light, sort of prismatic, radiating from the centre of their "bodies" outward. I didn't see them for long, just enough to know they were there.

Aureen smiled and said that was good, as when she'd placed her hands over my eyes she had felt hands placed over the top of hers, assisting in the healing. And this time she'd called on Archangels Michael, Chamuel and Rafael to help her in the healing. She'd been working on remaining grief - as she pulled out the cords Archangel Michael cut them. I told her that, funnily enough, twice I'd caught myself thinking about my Dad - definitely Dad, rather than Mum - though not in an upset way. He'd also been on my mind a bit this week too.... and I was finding that I could think about both of them without the instant wanting to burst into tears feeling I used to get. Another sign of improvement that Aureen was pleased about and said that what she was doing was, basically, mopping up the residual stuff which would help bring about further improvements.

By this time I felt OK to sit up and started to sip some water. She then said that I was deeply grounded at the moment as my Root Chakra was showing vibrantly red and, going back to my garden, that I needed to do the Meet Your Goddess meditation again soon, as she felt that my Goddess had something to say to me and that I needed to hear it. I said I would make time to do this soon.

We then chatted a little about the group and I said that I was so glad that S2 had brought her Mum through for her on Tuesday and hoped it had helped. She said it had and she was really pleased and had a big smile on her face (yes, Julie - I do feel that her faith in Spirit does help her a lot). I said that I found S2 amazing in her accuracy - Aureen said she had high hopes for her, that she had for us all, but that S2 was a special case. Definitely: if ever you've seen Colin Fry or John Edwards bringing messages through..... believe me, S2 should be right up there with them. :0)

As we were chatting I was gradually putting my rings etc back on and remembered to mention to her about my chat with the receptionist, Gail, on Thursday and the fact that she'd expressed an interest in attending a Circle again. Aureen said what I had felt whilst chatting to Gail - that she was a really nice person and would fit in perfectly with the existing group. So Aureen is going to ring her soon.... fingers crossed for a positive outcome. :0)

By this time I was ready so we walked back through to the reception area, where Aureen's next client was waiting. I thanked Aureen and told the lady to blame me for keeping her waiting, as I'd been chatting to Aureen. With that I paid Anne, who had taken over as receptionist so Jan could go home and carry on packing. As I hadn't seen Anne for quite some time we ended up going into the other room for a bit of a chat, so we wouldn't disturb the lady's treatment. The chat was a good one that resulted in some useful information for me, as she had had a total hysterectomy some years ago and was coming out the other side of the menopause. She also told me that her DH is about to start a new job as a UPVC window repairer..... so I've asked if I can have his details, so I can arrange for him to come and give us a price for replacing the old, rotted seals on our front windows and door. A little more chat and I suddenly realised just how hungry i was feeling, so we said goodbye and I headed for home.

The day might not have gone to the original plan but it had definitely worked out much better than hoped for. :0)

ACUPUNCTURE - 18TH FEBRUARY

Well going to acupuncture on a different day to Circle certainly makes a difference to my stress levels - much less rushing around, trying to fit things in a limited time, makes for a much calmer and happier me! LOL It was nice to get up and sorted and have a wander down the street to the Clinic with time to spare, knowing that there wouldn't be a mad rush back home afterwards but plenty of time to amble round the shops instead. :0)

When I arrived today Janet and a "new" receptionist were in Treatment room 1 making themselves a drink. I say "new" because Gail may be new to me but she is actually the "old" receptionist at the Clinic - she used to work there when the Clinic first opened up, went off to do some new things (including studying to become an alternative health practitioner herself) and has now come back to work there a couple of days a week. Janet called me into the room and told me to get myself comfortable whilst they just took their drinks out into reception - she would be drinking hers later, when it had had time to cool down.

I dropped my bags by the chair, took my coat off and hung it up, then sat down. Janet was back within a short time, my paperwork in hand. She asked how things had been so I told: I hadn't dropped like a stone after the last treatment, as I had after the first, but had found that I did feel tired later that night and definitely for a day or so afterwards. But the night flushes do make for a broken nights sleep and I don't do well on broken nights and never have.... and I'm having a tendency to feel better on certain days so have a flurry of activity to make the most of it and that means I'm overdoing things and paying for it too. She said it was perfectly natural to keep feeling like that after my type of operation (and full hysterectomies) and there tends to be watershed moments: I'll feel better at the three month watershed and then again when I reach the six months one, in the meantime I should try and work at reaching a balance in the activities I do by spreading things out over a few days, rather than trying to get them all done in one. I can see the sense in that and am going to try and do that from now on.

I mentioned that I felt I'd struggled a bit at the Circle that week, though hadn't been the only one, and that I didn't know if it was anything to do with all the needles she'd put in my crown but my Crown Chakra had been tingling on and off ever since, so she made a note of that. I also told her about asking the girls if the song One Day at a Time, Sweet Jesus had meant anything and that it hadn't, so I felt that it really had been for her and that it was probably her way of letting Janet know she was around. She was quite pleased and thanked me, then said that her Mum was currently up here visiting and that she would tell her that her Mum had been around and that she would be happy to know that too. It meant a lot to Janet because she hadn't been able to sense her grandmother since she'd passed away.

Janet asked a few more relevant health questions, jotting down notes as we went, then asked if I'd had any kind of bleeding since my op: only the one monthly I couldn't avoid but nothing since. This was because this time she wanted to treat the meridians that dealt with cooling and thinning my blood, to help calm the flushes - something she didn't do during the first two sessions as she felt it was too soon. She then took the pulses in both my wrists, Chinese style, and jotted those down... and from all of this she decided on the best treatment for me.

This week I had to remove my jeans, as that's where the blood and liver meridians are, and also the thermal longjohns I was also wearing. She closed the window blind and left the room whilst I got myself ready, weighed myself and laid on the bed. I'd asked about getting myself weighed the previous week and the scales had been put in the room ready for me so, after peeling those layers off (every little helps, after all! LOL) I got on them: no loss... but then again, no gain either, as the pointer was rock steady at 11 and a half stone again. It's good to know that I can at least maintain my weight..... though it did make me wonder if I would be losing too much weight if I didn't have that tortilla chip and rice flake pudding habit going on during this cold weather. I got on the bed and pulled the large towel over me and called to Janet that I was ready, as instructed.

This time I had needles in my third eye Chakra (to help spiritually), one in the heart meridian again (thankfully it didn't bother me as much as it had the previous week), one in my left wrist area (more to the back, than inner) which she did say what it was for but I've since forgotten, one in either ankle again (glad to say that though the hormone one pricked a tad going in it was much less painful) and several up my inner thighs on both legs which barely registered when they went in. Whilst she was doing this she said she would leave me for a longer treatment this time but I was to shout her if I at all felt sick or uncomfortable in any way, which I promised to do, then covered me back up again, put the relaxation CD on, switched off the light and left the room.

It really is an odd sensation when the needles go in and it's nothing to do with whether or not they prickle and make me catch my breath. There is a definite change, or subtle movement, that I feel instantly. Sometimes it's very mildly disorientating but, so far, it hasn't been unpleasant. I still remain more aware of background noises than I do during a Reiki session but it's not a problem (it doesn't bug me, like some noises can when I'm at home) and I don't get as deeply relaxed as Reiki makes me but there's a definite sense that somewhere, on some level, something is happening, something is altering. The relaxation music was pleasant to listen to too and the gentle bird song among the music made me think of my garden (the meditation garden we go to in Circle), which was pleasant.

Janet came back in some time later (no idea how long I was there for - could have been anything from ten minutes to half an hour) and told me to keep my eyes shut whilst she turned the main light back on. That's when I realised I shouldn't really put my hands up to cover my eyes when there's an acupuncture needle in my third eye Chakra. It wasn't overly painful, just more made me jump.... but definitely something to avoid in future. LOL. She asked how I felt. OK. Though the heart meridian needle had initially prickled it had settled down to a slight itchiness - she said that was really good. The hormonal one had also initially prickled then hadn't bothered me at all - whereas the previous week she'd had to take it out after barely a minute - and this again was good. No botheration from the other sites at all. Once the needles were removed and dabbed she helped me to sit up, ensuring I kept my dignity by keeping the towel over my bare legs whilst doing so. I gathered that, from my responses, she was pleased with how the treatment had gone and that it was giving her a better sense of which way to take further treatments.

It wasn't until this point that I remembered I was supposed to have mentioned my back problems again. Never mind, that'll keep until next time..... though, funnily enough, it has eased right off since this treatment.

As I was obviously OK she left me to get dressed, saying she would tell Gail that I would be making an appointment for the following week, as I was happy to do so, and that she would see me then. She went to her next client. It took me a bit to get my gear on as I felt slightly uncoordinated... which made me realise that I was more relaxed than I'd initially thought. Once I was decent again and got my things together I went out to reception, made my next appointment and paid my dues. Gail and I started chatting and I don't quite know how it happened but I told her about that state I was in when I first came to the Clinic (the weight and blood pressure and the health warning etc) and what Jan and Aureen had done for me, and now Janet. I don't usually open up like that to someone I've just met (it's usually the other way around, with complete strangers telling me their life stories!) but there was something about her that made me feel comfortable.

The chat went on to cover Aureen's Development Circle evenings... turns out that Gail used to attend but had stopped going as she felt she hadn't been ready then. Hearing me talk about the Circle and the members dropping out and that Aureen was looking for new people to join triggered her interest though and she said she must ring Aureen as she felt she was ready now. Remember what Aureen had said about people turning up at the right time? Well I think it may have just happened. LOL Fingers crossed she does ring, as I get the feeling she will fit in perfectly. :0)

With that I said my goodbyes and made my way out.... and into the Hospice Bookshop. Somehow a trip down the High Street just doesn't seem complete without a nosey in there. ROFL I found a couple more books of interest:

Another book on the menopause - yes, I intend to be very well read on the subject... and it's always useful to have differing points of view on any given subject so you can cherry pick the best/most relevant ideas to you. The Native American legends book is for my eclectic collection.... and one that was quite probably prompted by my Spirit Guide. :0)

After that I ventured further down the street.... despite the fact that it was half term and therefore far busier than usual. It's not so very long ago that this would have had me turning round and heading home fast - I just reinforced my psychic protection and carried on. I had a look in the carpet shop for a rug but no joy there, then on to Wilko's for some bits and pieces, then on down to the local market. It is still sadly deteriorated, compared to what it used to be like when I first moved here, but it did come up trumps today: I found the perfect rug for my Craft Room and at only £2.00 it was a bargain. I wandered round, getting some tomatoes and vegetables from one stall, some birthday wrapping paper from another and some double-sided sticky tape from the cardmaking stall... and saw some A4 sized storage boxes that will be useful for the Craft Room too. I was fairly loaded up and running out of cash by this time so I said I'd be back another week to get some of those. I was also ready for my dinner too, so headed home.

I was a little tired by this time but eating soon improved that...... though I did go tired again later in the evening. Thankfully it wasn't that awful dropping like a stone feeling I had the first week, so I guess that could be a sign the treatments are beginning to kick in and level things off some. :0)

Jane: just a few random things that may be of use to you, in response to your comment. :0)

Drinking soya milk is beneficial as it has a good dose of plant oestrogens in it. Eating very healthily also helps, as does avoiding caffeine and cutting out as much sugar as possible (think low GI). The Candida diet, which I've stayed on, has been great for this. :0)

There are three herbs that I've heard of as being rated for being good at helping with menopausal symptoms and which are easily available from most Health Food and Herbalist shops, either in tablet or capsule form. There's Evening Primrose Oil and Black Cohosh but I can't comment on either of these as I haven't tried them. Then there's Red Clover - which is currently in my mix and seems to be helping to keep those tropical moments down to a bare minimum and the night sweats bearable. There are probably more so it's worth doing further research. :0)

When I had a discussion with my Herbalist about different herbs that are written about in magazines as being helpful in menopause (I'd just read something about black cohosh) her response was that those articles usually did more harm than good to the herbal profession. Women tend to read the articles and go try the herbs expecting a miracle cure all: some are lucky and they do work to some degree but for others they don't and they walk away thinking that herbal treatments are a load of rubbish. What you get from a Herbalist is a tailor-made mixture specific for the individual because all aspects of that woman's health and mental attitude have been taken into consideration - not just treating the symptoms but being Holistic and treating the whole person.

So, although I have red clover in my mix, I also have a variety of other herbs: some that aid kidney and liver function, something for energy, some for blood pressure, some for mood, something for stress, etc etc..... so it's the addition of the red clover to the whole mix that has made the difference, whereas taking it on it's own may not have the same result for me. Hope you know what I mean and it makes sense to you. :0)

Another alternative is going to see a Health Nutritionist. Eating healthily does wonders and it's now known that various foods (or avoidance of certain foods) can have a direct effect on health. (eg tomatoes help fight cancer - but the same thing that helps in that respect actually worsens the pain in arthritic conditions).

I've just started reading a book: Natural Alternatives to HRT by Marilyn Glenville. It covers all aspects of the menopause and various ways to help with the symptoms. I like her approach, as she states that the menopause is not an illness to be treated or cured but a natural part of the life cycle. Some of it is preaching to the converted (myself) but I'm also discovering quite a bit I didn't know - and I would certainly recommend it as a must-read to any woman who is about to or is going through the menopause. HTH. :0

DEVELOPMENT CIRCLE - 16TH FEBRUARY

This time around S2 was already there when I arrived and had been chatting with Aureen. It wasn't long before Sh and S1 arrived. I asked about La and Aureen said she had texted her and read out her reply: basically, life was somewhat hectic now and due to the pressures she'd decided not to come to the Circle for now... almost word for word what her Mum, L, had said when she exited. So she's definitely not coming back and I don't think any of us were surprised - rather had been expecting it. It's a shame but these things do happen, as Aureen told us..... though she said she will be looking to find someone else to join us, as we needed to ensure there were enough of us to make the group viable, considering illness and holidays. She said she had always found that the right person or people usually come along just as they are needed. :0)

We went through into the other room and Aureen talked more about the different planes of existence and raising our vibration and awarenes to contact the higher levels and the lower levels and the kinds of Spirits that gravitate there and why - a subject she had touched on the week when there was just S1 and myself who turned up. It was interesting, thought-provoking - some of the things I had read about before and it was good to get a different "take" on it.
Whilst she was talking I saw the glow of her aura gradually build up around her. I've had this happen slightly before but this time it was much more definite and clear: it was a golden light all around her which was interspersed with other brilliant Chakra colours, a little like a prism, initially only about an inch above her physical body but gradually expanding to about four inches away all round....... though the more I concentrated on it the less distinct it became. I guess the knack is to concentrate on what is being said and only have half a mind on the aura, and to stay relaxed throughout. Hope that happens again as it was a beautiful thing to see. :0)

As we discussed Karma and how that affected a souls progression S2 asked a question, linked to something in her past, and how she couldn't forgive the person involved (she didn't go into details). Forgiveness is about one of the hardest things we have to learn to do and one of the main things that can affect our development, for good or ill depending on if we can or can't forgive someone. Not being able to let go of the hurt and forgive someone for what they have done can link us to the person/soul through successive lifetimes, destined to continue what can be a negative cycle, until we can learn the lesson and forgive, allowing us to grow and move on. S2 said she understood what Aureen was saying but she really wasn't sure she could do it. I remembered what I had said to my DSis during her recent problems at work, caused by a particular person - that though she couldn't forgive him for his sake, then do it for her own sake - and said this to S2. Whatever happened has left some very deep scars though...... she would try but didn't sound overly optimistic at this stage. I wanted to hug her.

This week, after we opened the Circle, we added names to the healing book and put much healing into it. As A wasn't here, so we couldn't do the Spirit Guide meditation, we were to do another garden meditation... this time to meet a fairy/elemental or similar.

The meditation: we had to protect ourselves, open our Chakras, ground ourselves then slow our breathing, listening for our sound. We then had to walk down the country lane to the gate, open it and enter in. First we walked around out garden, noticing sights, sounds and smells, then we were to notice a seat ( a bench or similar) and go over and sit down. As we sat we were to become aware of an orb of light coming towards us, noticing it's colour. As it came to rest in front of us a being would come out of it - a fairy, gnome, Elemental or similar - and we were to greet it and ask it's name and then ask it if it had a message for us. Once we had the message we were to thank it and say goodbye, get up and take a final wander around the garden, then exit the gate and walk back down the country lane. Then back to awareness of the room.

Aureen then went to each of us in turn to see what we had seen and what message we had been given.

Sh was right there in her garden again and the birds were singing and the butterflies back again. She described the orb as purples and the fairy was called Amethyst (funnily enough I'd been drawn to wearing all amethyst jewellery that night - weird, or what? LOL). She was given a lovely message (can't remember all of it - but it was personal so I wouldn't put it here anyway).
S2 said she struggled to get into the whole fairy thing, despite having a pretty fairy ornament in her real garden, and is more drawn to and connects with Angels...... so it was an Angel she saw and spoke to (personal). Aureen said that she did have a strong connection to the Angelic realm but not to neglect the other realms, as she would benefit from that contact too and gain much from it. Something for her to practice at home.
I saw some elements of my garden and was drawn to sit on the ground under my silver birch tree. I saw an orb of different blues but I didn't see the fairy that clearly, though felt I got her name (either Llira or Llyria) but had struggled from then on and didn't feel I'd received a message. Aureen said she was surprised as she'd expected, with my beliefs, that I would strongly connect with this meditation. I think part of the problem is that I haven't been able to get outside into my real garden for months now, so am feeling disconnected from that side of things... because when I am out there I do get the corner of the eye glimmer thing and often get the feeling that I'm not alone out there, as well as having been told in the past that fairies etc are drawn to me. I feel this is another meditation that I need to do out in my real garden, once the weather has warmed up, so I can feel the Earth with my bare feet and connect more deeply.
S1 saw herself in her garden and this time there were lots of roses (though she felt they were only there because they seemed fairly easy to look after LOL). She freely admits she's no gardener and only goes out there to sit and read and catch some rays. I can't remember what else she saw and I can't remember what Aureen told us she'd seen.

Next it was time to open for Clairvoyance.

Sh saw a piece of amber for Aureen but wasn't sure of the relevance of this and said I probably would, being into crystals etc. I know it's considered to be the Witch's Stone and is worn for protection (though didn't say that) but couldn't remember the healing properties of it offhand - Aureen seemed quite happy with it though, as she also loves her crystals and stones. Sh also saw the black cat for me again, this time it was sat on my knee and I was stroking it - I said now I knew it was my cat. No mallen streak but the vet once told us that it was a sign of scarring on her body, due to an impact or operation (we couldn't say: she was a rescue cat and we didn't know her history), so I guess it's her way of letting me know she's fully healed now. I can't remember what she was for S1 and S2.

From Aureen: when she came to me she said she'd seen an amber traffic light and heard the words get ready. Sh said she had picked up on the traffic lights, thinking that's what she'd seen for Aureen initially, but it had then become the amber stone. I said that we had a set of traffic lights right outside our driveway and smiled - what I didn't say, because I wanted to see if anyone would pick it up at some point, was that my DH and I had been to look at a couple of cars at the weekend. Yes, I am finally getting my act together, ready to start driving again! :0) She said she had also seen a vicar stood behind me all night and I laughed and said I wasn't sure why...... though refrained from making a joke about him probably trying to save my Pagan soul! LOL As far as I'm aware there weren't any vicars in either family so Aureen said it probably meant that a church event was coming up, either a wedding, funeral or christening. There's nothing on the cards at the moment... but I sincerely hope that it's one of the happy events, as there have been enough sad ones already in recent years to last me a very long time. Again I can't remember what else Aureen had seen for the others.

S2: I can't remember what she saw for me, Sh or S1 but for Aureen she saw an old lady. She described her white hair, facial features and even the dress she was wearing and said that she was sat at a round table and was holding a china teacup and saucer - there were people gathered behind her but she couldn't see them distinctly, just their shapes. I got goosebumps and said: it's your Mum Aureen. It was lovely to see the huge beaming smile on her face as she said that yes, it was. S2 had described her perfectly, the dress was the one she had been buried in and she had also loved to drink tea out of a proper china cup and saucer... and the kitchen table is round. What a lovely way for her Mum to let her know that she had arrived safely in the Otherworld and was with all her loved ones already over there. And how amazing S2's skills are! :0)

I had struggled again. I "saw" definite movement in front of me, as if someone had walked from the left of the Circle to stand in the middle of it, and then saw lot's of fuschia's. That was all. I said I didn't know if it was male or female (but then felt it was a man as I said it) or who it was for. Aureen said that I needed to ask and I said that I had done but just didn't seem to get anywhere with it. I thought it was a bit too vague but Sh claimed it - one of her loved ones (not sure she said who but he was male) used to grow prize fuschias. I do feel frustrated when these things come through and I don't know who they are for, especially when the other girls have given me such lovely messages - I know how much comfort they give me, so I'd like to reciprocate. Aureen said not to worry and that it will come.

S1 felt she had struggled again, hadn't really got much of anything for anyone, and felt frustrated and a bit down about it, though felt it was partly her fault - she hadn't been practising as much as she should, due to time constraints. Aureen said that we can't expect to be on form every week and mentioned again that this kind of thing would happen occasionally, as Spirit will test us.... it's up to us to persevere. I've since asked Aureen if it was possible for S1 and I to be picking up on one another and she felt that we probably were - I shall have to be careful in future not to get too frustrated within the Circle as I don't want to be the cause of others having problems.

At the end of the session, after closing down ourselves and the Circle, Aureen said her Guide had said that if we had any questions about anything we could ask them and they would be answered next week. Initially, as always, as soon as anyone asks if we have any questions.... our minds went blank and we couldn't think of anything. But as we chatted a little Sh said she had one: if souls go on to develop to different levels, moving onto those levels when we cross over, will we still be able to meet up with all our loved ones in Spirit?
S2: also asked a question but I can't remember what it was.
Me: When people have different beliefs to their loved ones - with some believing in Summerlands, others in Heaven, others in Nirvana etc etc - do we go to those different places or are they actually all the same?
S1 said she couldn't think of a question to ask.

Aureen said they were all good questions and would give her some work to do...... and rolled her eyes upwards and said Thank you very much to her Guide. She jotted then down quickly, so she wouldn't forget. As she was doing this Sh mentioned that she had had the cobwebs feeling all night and asked if I had. I hadn't been aware of it, to be honest - though I wasn't surprised when she said this, as I had seen movement behind her earlier in the session (not a shadow - I checked). The penny dropped later: I'd seen movement behind Sh, then when we opened for Clairvoyance I'd seen movement again...... coming from her direction to the centre of the Circle. It was her loved one I'd seen coming forward..... and if I'd put those two things together earlier I would have known the fuschias were for her. Sheesh - hindsight is a pain in the butt!

After Aureen handed out the sheets for this week we wandered through into the kitchen area, chatting. Sh asked if any of us had ever seen Sally Morgan perform. I hadn't seen her live but am currently watching her series on TV and was quite impressed with her accuracy. Sh said that yes, she was good... but she had found her voice very annoying and was well ready to leave by the end of the performance - I know what she meant and at least I have an off button on the TV remote! LOL Someone then mentioned going to see Ian Lawman and asked if I'd seen him perform. I have seen him live, several times, at the Pink Pig Psychic Evenings, and the last time he'd brought through messages from our Dad only a few weeks after he'd passed and had been spot on. A little more chat and we all headed for the door, saying our goodbyes.

I always look forward to the Circle evenings but am really loking forward to next week and finsing out what replies Aureen's Guide has given to our questions. :0)

DEVELOPMENT CIRCLE - 9TH FEBRUARY

Boy, did it feel rushed getting to Circle - so glad I've changed the day for acupuncture to Thursday from next week!

This week there was Aureen, Sh, S2 and me. S1 had texted Aureen to say that she couldn't make it, A had let her know she was ill. Unfortunately no word from La again... it isn't looking promising for seeing her again. :0(

Whilst chatting I asked the girls if the One Day at a Time, Sweet Jesus song, a la Daniel O' Donnell style, meant anything to them - Sh said Daniel O'Donnell did but not that song specifically. I said it was OK, it was definitely that song though not necessarily D O'D - that was just who it made me think of, so I guess it was for Janet the acupuncturist after all. Will tell her when I see her again next week.

Once we'd given La more than enough time to arrive and realised she wasn't coming again we went through into the other room to make a start. As we couldn't do the Spirit Guide meditation Aureen told us we would be doing a guided meditation to meet our Goddess this week instead and then proceeded to open the Circle etc.

For the meditation we had to do the usual relaxing (breathing/sound) then walk along the country lane to our garden gate and enter. We then had to walk around the garden, noticing the sights, sounds and smells. When we were comfortable with this we then saw a small summerhouse in a corner, with three steps up to it - we had to walk up the steps and go inside. Inside we were to visualise a chair and go and sit in it, noticing there was another chair opposite. Our Goddess then came in and sat in the vacant chair - we could then ask her any question/s we wanted and see what reply/ies we got. After a while we then thanked her and left, walking back through the garden, out of the gate and back up the country lane. We then had to slowly come back to ourselves.

Aureen then asked each of us, in turn, how we had done visualising our garden.
Sh had done very well, seeing herself there and had even seen and heard butterflies and bees for the first time.
S2 again has no problem with the visualisation.
For some reason I had struggled: a few images and not very clear, though I did feel I'd heard birds singing this time.
Aureen, needless to say, has no problems with her visualisations. :0)

Next we talked about our Goddess, the question/s we had asked and the reply/ies we had had.
Sh: I can't remember if she had seen a specific Goddess but she did see her, asked a personal question and had a lovely reply. She was very comforted by it. :0)
S2 struggled to see a Goddess as she believes in a genderless Creator. She asked her question/s and received her replies.
I had clearly seen the armchair - a green, old-fashioned armchair (think horsehair stuffing and rough fabric finish). I had expected Isis but felt it was Kwan Yin who entered. After initially struggling to find something to ask I then got greedy and asked three questions. Will I be a healer, or, rather, do I have the potential to be a healer? I suddenly got extremely hot hands and the area between and including my solar plexus and heart Chakras also felt hot, almost as if they were glowing. I then asked if my DS would meet the love of his life soon...... I received the image of a large, two handled silver trophy (which I have problems with, as who wants to think of a person as a prize?) Then I asked, thinking of the current state of the world, what hope there would be for Peace amongst us - I had this strong urge to push all the energy/heat in my hands and solar plexus/heart Chakras down into Mother Earth. In fact it was such a strong urge I wanted to actually bend down and put my hands on the floor to do it.... though stopped myself, as I didn't want to freak everyone out. Aureen said that although I hadn't felt as if I'd directly spoken to my Goddess I had obviously received my replies in the images received and in what I'd felt. I realise it's the same old problem: I still need to stop expecting things to go in a particular direction and trust in and go with the flow of what I do receive.

Next we were to sit in the dark and open ourselves to messages from Spirit.
I've had a few sleeps and another Circle, plus acupuncture and Reiki since, so I am struggling to remember much of this but but here's what I can:

I saw a beautiful Queen Bee on flowers and thought it was for Aureen, but then got a strong smell of hairspray and went to S2 (she works in a hairdressers) and got an impression of willow and catkins; turned to Sh and just the word Grandfather for her. Aureen asked what I thought the bee represented - Queen of all she surveys? That seemed a bit negative to me and that wasn't how it came across. I think of bees as busy and industrious and said so and also mentioned that the bee was connected with a specific Goddess, though I couldn't (and still can't!) remember which one. I also now think my first thought was right and that this image was for Aureen and not S2. As for the willow and catkins: S2 (like myself) used to play under a huge weeping willow when she was a child, likening it to a big green tent (just how I thought of it). Sh didn't really know either of her grandfathers as they'd both passed while she was little, though Aureen felt that it probably meant that one/both of them were just letting her know they were around.

Sh saw a black cat walking in front of me, very happy to be there. That made me sit up and smile... though she said that there wasn't any other colour on it and felt that it was a symbol: lucky black cat. I didn't mention my Sally cat, who crossed over the Rainbow Bridge in 2006 - all black, except for a Mallen streak on her flank. From S2: she saw me balanced on an edge, in shall I/shan't I mode and says she sees me like that quite often. Now, as always, there was a woman, surrounded by bright light, stood to my right - I said that wouldn't surprise me, as often when I'm meditating, or even just on the edge of sleep, I am aware of a bright light to my right - so bright it sometimes makes me open my eyes to check a light hasn't been turned on. The woman was there, finger extended and poking me to push me over but not in a nasty way - more as encouragement, as it would mean the start of a whole new me. Aureen: asked if I was afraid of flying. Yes, I'd only done it once and wasn't overly keen and have actively avoided it for years (even before the agoraphobia/panic attacks). She said that I would need to tame the fear, as I would be going on a trip to Sioux Land USA - she couldn't say what area, as she didn't know the USA well, but it was where the Sioux are based. She then asked if I had crystal books. Yes, quite a few actually - she said it would be an idea to get my books out and gen up on crystals, as she felt that may have something to do with it. She said it would all suit me well and, again, mean a whole new me. I must admit I was a bit stunned by this and said that going to the USA had never really figured on my list of places to visit: Egypt, New Zealand and Australia, and in that order of preference, would be the ones I would aim for should I ever go in an aeroplane again.

Sh, S2 and Aureen all had messages for each other too but I really can't remember them. Infuture I shall make sure I either write these things up quicker... or jot down some crib notes! LOL

As we closed our Chakras and closed the Circle I was feeling a little grumpy about not getting clearer messages through and I got a distinct message came through to me: you get out what you put in. When the Circle was closed I told the others what had happened and that I understood what it was telling me. I hadn't been practising the meditations and techniques as much as I should have been doing, as I find that the days sometimes get away from me and I don't manage to sit and do them - I don't so them.... I won't be as open to Spirit as I should be. OK, message received loud and clear! LOL

Once again I felt quite tired by the end of the session. I really need to try and get into a better sleep pattern.... though the disturbed nights, thanks to the flushes, really aren't helping there and there's not much more I can do about them.... it's a case of waiting until the effects of the acupuncture treatments start to kick in.
DH was waiting for me when we left the house... we went straight home and it wasn't long before I went to bed.

ACUPUNCTURE - TUESDAY 9TH FEBRUARY

Time for my second session of acupuncture and I was really curious to see how things went this time, compared to the first session. I set off 10 minutes beforehand so I would have plenty of time to take a steady walk and have time to settle down before going in for the session.

I had a surprise this week when I saw Anne on reception. It was nice to see her and have chance for a quick natter. She seems to have recovered well from her knee surgery and had a new hair cut and colour which suits her well.

Janet (the acupuncturist) saw her previous client out to reception then, after saying goodbye to her, took me into the treatment room. First thing she did was to ask me how I'd been since my first session. Well... I'd been OK up until about 5pm when I suddenly dropped like a stone and all I wanted to do was to go to bed but I had the Development Circle to go to. I told her about finding the Circle a bit of a struggle to do (probably also not helped by there only being the three of us there) and of S1 asking if I was tired, as I looked it. Janet said that it was perfectly normal and was actually a good sign, although it may not have felt like it at the time. It meant that my body had taken to the treatment and that the Qi was being pulled around it as my body carried on with self-healing: it didn't always happen but was quite typical of sensitives like us (she also has a heightened degree of clairsentience). As I have more sessions and my body gets used to the Qi energy flowing it will settle down and become more balanced, so the sudden tiredness won't happen anymore. It was good to know. I did ask, though, if she minded if I moved future appointments to another day, even though the tiredness should improve - it's mostly because I'm finding it a bit of a rush to have a treatment, get back home and then organise myself for going to Circle. I prefer a much quieter day so I can stay chilled and get myself in the right frame of mind for it. She told me she was in on Thursday's too, so to just mention it to Anne when I went out and she would sort it for me. :0)

I also asked why the needle in my heart meridian had irritated so much. Again it's all part of a good reaction to the needles. Whilst Reiki works on the Chakras and aura, acupuncture is much more direct, because the needles go through the energy meridians and deep into the body, and irritation shows a strong response to this. She gave me an example of how she and fellow complimentary therapists she works on (those who work with energy/light) often feel itchy after a treatment, especially one particular lady who is left with red blobs at all the acupuncture sites. These are nothing to worry about and they soon fade, as does the itching. I thought it through and said now I understood, and it made sense, as to why the heart meridian site bothered me and left me with a raised bleb: it's not just due to grief related issues but because I'm mainly clairsentient - that means I work with feelings/emotions a lot which involves mostly using my heart Chakra.

Some of the things we have in common, as clairsentients: neither of us like being in overly busy places, especially pubs. Janet can't abide being around drunks and the vibes they give off, especially when they are in pubs and nightclubs, and tries to avoid them as much as possible. I don't go to lively pubs in an evening: if we go to a pub these days it's usually for a meal and I always ask for a quiet corner, away from noisier folks. I don't do parties if I can avoid them. I especially don't do busy supermarkets at Christmas, as the vibes given off then are really unpleasant. There are some days I really don't like the feeling in the air that is around here, likening it to "as if something is about to kick off", so I avoid going out then - Janet also feels that there have been some weird vibes about around here for several years now and she also finds it unpleasant..... one of the reasons she lives out in one of the villages, rather than in the town. It's good to know that it "isn't just me", iykwim. As we were chatting I also mentioned that I would have to ask the girls at the Circle about a tune that had been going around my head ever since I'd woken up: One Day at a Time, Sweet Jesus (as in, sung by Daniel O'Donnell song). Now as a Pagan this isn't the usual kind of song I'm drawn to, so it's a tad unusual LOL. Janet then told me that the song was played at her Grandmother's funeral, the one they play when everyone is leaving the service.... only someone had forgotten to unlock the exit door so they were all stuck there having to listen to it. LOL I will still ask the girls if it means anything to them... but it looks like it may well have been for Janet. How weird is that?

This time I remembered to mention that I have a bit of a problem with my back: back when I used to go to the gym, to do fitness training, whilst on one of the old machines (one where you push against pads with your forearms and bring them together in front of you) the instructor got me to use it the other way around, as it helped to tone up a different set of arm muscles (help make those "wings" disappear!). Only when I tried it something in my spine, just below my shoulder blades level, "crunched" and gave me a right belt of pain that made me cry out. After resting it seemed fine so I carried on training (though the right way round on that machine from then on!). It wasn't until I stopped doing the fitness training a while later that I started getting some problems with intermittent back pain.... right where it had "crunched". It seems to aggravate when I do alot of computer mousework and stitching, making a muscle across my back ache which bothers my neck/shoulder and usually triggers a bit of a headache. It was bothering me today and I'd got a bit of a headache so Janet said she would do something to help that.

After she took my pulses and closed the blind I took off my shoes and socks and went to lie down on the treatment bed. This time she used two Western needles, one in either temple, which was to relieve the headache... and it was very effective for that. Then she placed five needles in the crown of my head (they barely registered, just felt like a little pressure being applied) then a needle in the inner ankle area. The one in my left foot pricked like hell when it went in and bothered me immediately and, as it continued to bother me, Janet took it out. This one was in the hormonal area and had reacted because the Qi energy had immediately rushed to, then up the needle and pulled down what it needed very quickly. Instantaneous reaction meant it had worked straightaway, no need to leave it in. :0)

When Janet had made sure I was comfortable she turned off the light and went off to leave me to relax. I had a similar reaction as last time: an odd shifting movement in my body and the need to close my eyes. This time I could see particular upper Chakra colours whirling behind my eyelids: Spring Green (heart); not much blue (throat); lots of indigo (brow/third eye); lots of violet (crown) and lots of lovely healing purple. If my feet had been a little warmer I could have been tempted to drop off to sleep.  LOL Except occasionally it felt like the treatment bed moved a little, which I've also occasionally experienced during Reiki sessions - whilst the times during Reiki didn't bother me I found this mildly disconcerting. My mind just free-wheeled throughout the session and fleeting images kept coming and going, too quickly to really see what they were. Towards the end of the session I was really aware of the chit-chat in the other room and at reception and of the traffic outside so I was ready for Janet coming back in minutes later.

Janet asked how I was and I said fine and she quickly removed the needles, once again dabbing the puncture sites. I carefully sat up but there wasn't really any feeling of disorientation or anything. Once thing that was immediately self-evident though: that niggling headache had gone! Janet just smiled when I told her - and she told me to remind her about the back next time and she would see what she could do for it. If it's as effective as the headache needles I'm up for it! LOL I told her about the Chakra colours and other things, chatted about a few other inconsequential things, thanked her and then she went out to see her next client.

By this time I'd had some sips of water and put my socks and shoes back on. I felt OK, so I didn't wait around long after Janet had left the room. Anne booked my next appointment for the morning of the following Thursday - the beauty of that being that it's market day, so I'll be able to pop down there for a nosey afterwards, should the fancy take me. I paid my dues and was just gathering my things together when Jan arrived. It was basically a hello/goodbye though, as she was obviously wanting to get on.

When I left the Clinic I decided to pop into my favourite place...... yes, the Hospice Bookshop. This time I did find something I wanted:

I reckoned that menopause book would be interesting reading.... if only to help me gather enough information together so I can go back to see my GP with a shed load of questions that I didn't have chance to ask at the hospital. LOL  I decided to grab the other one because I part saw the film The Celestine Prophecy the other week which has made me want to read the books..... and once I've read those, then I already have this one to look at things more in-depth. :0)

From there I popped over the road to the greengrocers to get some diabetic biscuits for DH, then to Tesco Express for a little shopping, then home. By the time I put things away and got changed it was time to get my meal sorted, to make sure I'd eaten a couple of hours before the Circle was due to start. The time just shot past. See what I mean about it all being rushed? LOL

DEVELOPMENT CIRCLE - TUESDAY 2ND FEBRUARY

Well I seemed to be doing OK after my first acupuncture session, getting changed as soon as I got home and going on to cook my meal.... but by about 5pm I suddenly dropped like a stone and all I wanted to do was go to bed! Not good when there was a Circle to go to!

I persevered and went anyway, arriving shortly before S1. Aureen said she hadn't heard anything from La or A but Sh had texted to let her know that she wouldn't be coming as she was unwell. We chatted as we waited for a while, acupuncture being one of the subjects, but no one else turned up and Aureen said that if she had known there were only going to be the three of us she would have cancelled the session, though we'd go ahead now anyway and see what happened as sometimes the smaller groups could be surprising.

Once in the other room we settled into the approximation of a Circle. As we weren't a full house we obviously couldn't do the meditation to meet our Spirit Guides so Aureen decided to do what she called the Rainbow Meditation, followed by clairvoyance afterwards.

We opened our small Circle, protected and grounded ourselves then went into the guided meditation. For the meditation we had to slow our breathing and relax into listening to our heartbeats and sound, really chilling down, then had to imagine our roots as tree roots, going deeply and firmly into Mother Earth, seeing ourselves as trees with our branches going high into the air on a bright, sunny day. Then we had to take our time on opening each Chakra at a time, imagining each colour in turn and as strongly as we could. We then had to imagine drawing a rainbow, one colour at a time, drawing it from under and up from our left foot to our crown on the in breath and down from the crown to under our right foot. When we had done this we then had to do it all again but this time doing it from front to back, imagining ourselves surrounded by the rainbow light and gathering any impressions we received. We then allowed the energy to flow away and came back to being aware of ourselves sat on our chairs and the room around us.

Aureen and S1 felt a little dizzy initially so had to ground themselves again. I felt OK. We talked through what had happened.

S1 had seen twisty curly roots which she felt had been unusual (I didn't say anything but that's how I always see my roots going into the Earth!) and her tree had been a big oak tree. She'd seen the Chakra colours and made several remarks on how these had seemed but I can't remember them (I really must write these posts up immediately, while everything is still reasonably fresh!). The rainbow was clear and she'd really enjoyed the meditation.

Initially I saw brown bark and thought of and saw an oak tree, so I said I felt I'd picked up on S1's oak tree, but that quickly went, to be replaced by an extremely clear image of a silver birch tree..... and not one of the wispy ones but a beautiful, well established tree with a large trunk, high and strong branches and lots of leaves. Even before Aureen mentioned it being sunny I saw it in bright light - it was the clearest and strongest image I've received so far. S1 then said she had initially seen a silver birch but that had quickly gone and been replaced by her oak tree - it looks like we were picking up on each other quite well! I saw able to see the Chakra colours well and, once I'd got the hang of the in and out breaths, had been able to draw the rainbow quite well. It was a wonderful meditation and I'd thoroughly enjoyed it and felt really relaxed and peaceful after it.

Aureen said that this was a really good one to do at home, to help develop our skills and told us that Sh had loved this meditation when she had done it at her previous Circle and practised it regularly and had felt that it had helped her a lot.

Unfortunately I can't remember what Aureen's tree had been.

Next we were to open for clairvoyance, concentrating on one person at a time - that person had to sit and send out positive energy whilst it was going on and concentrate on anything in particular that they wanted picking up.

As I didn't get to have this done last time I was first up and it was a bit weird sitting there trying to think of something, especially as I was feeling tired - the old brain was flitting about like a butterfly! LOL
S1 had seen me dressed in walking clothes and boots with a rucksack on my back, striding out on my own and very happy. I used to do an awful lot of proper hill walking, pre-bad health/weight gain/agoraphobia etc, but last year, after getting myself sorted out, I finally got my walking gear on for the first time in years and did some walking in the Lake District while we were on holiday there ( a 4 mile walk initially, then a 6 mile walk another day). I felt this was a symbolic image too, with me being alone: me, striding out into the future with confidence and enjoyment, unafraid...... finally being the otter and not the mouse. A lovely feeling and thought. :0)
Unfortunately I can't remember what Aureen saw for me.

For Aureen I had the Beatles song I Wanna Hold Your Hand go through my head two separate times; saw an amethyst geode and something else that I just can't remember now. The song itself wasn't one that meant anything specific to her but she said that perhaps someone from Spirit wanted to hold her hand (it has been only a short time since her Mum passed away); she would love an amethyst geode but can't afford one, as they are really expensive; can't remember this bit because I can't remember the relevant thing I received.
S1 saw Aureen sat at a round kitchen table and reading a particular story in a broadsheet newspaper, naming it. It was absolutely spot on. There were some other things I can't now remember.
S1's jaw almost dropped and she looked at me and said she felt a bit stunned. I smiled at her and nodded and said I know, despite the fact that we know we are there to develop these skills when we get direct hits it still freaks you out a bit.

For S1 I got Egyptian images coming through again, this time a definite image of a Horus statue and also a view of either a Pharoah or one of the gods with staff in hand, again more of a statue then a wall image, then the image of a baby surrounded by white light. Aureen said she wasn't surprised that I was picking up on this again as this was a very strong lifetime for S1 but I said I'd been frustrated with it as I felt it was just re-hashing what I'd got last time... but realised afterwards that, as the images were different, I should probably have opened to it more and see if more came up. (Since then every time I think of this the words Temple at Edfu keep coming up - need to do a little research!).
Unfortunately I can't remember all of what Aureen got for S1 and what I can remember was quite personal.

Not long after we closed ourselves down and closed the Circle. We chatted a little afterwards and S1's throat problems were mentioned again, so I asked her if she tended to bottles things up. She said she does and I mentioned how I recognised it after having throat problems in my 30's which resulted in having my tonsils out, though in hindsight now recognised that it probably had more to do with the throat Chakra being blocked due to my bottling things up. I said she shouldn't be afraid and to speak her truth more often... and Aureen promptly said: see, you are getting things. LOL

As we were heading for the door S1 asked me if I was tired, which I admitted to, and she said that I looked quite drawn. I said I had a feeling that it was something to do with the acupuncture but that I would see how it went the following week, though I was going to ask to change the day anyway - doing both on the same day was making things too rushed and I preferred to have a quieter day, to stay nice and chilled before the Circle, so I was in the right frame of mind when I got there.

With that we said our goodbyes and left. Needless to say I asked DH to take us straight home and I had an early night.