DEVELOPMENT CIRCLE - 29 SEPTEMBER

This week went to plan with meal times and everything and I actually ended up arriving a little earlier and at the same time as L. Am hoping this timing thing wasn't just a fluke but a sign that I'm dropping into a regular routine now. LOL

L and I were the first to arrive so we sat and chatted to Aureen whilst we waited for the others to come. We were asked if we'd been practising any of the techniques. I had but with varying success: I still keep falling asleep at some point during the meditations when I'm at home, especially if I do them in the afternoon. BUT before I fell asleep on that afternoon's session I'd been practising expanding my aura...... can't say as I saw anything particularly when trying to sense it but I did get the weirdest sensation of being "stretched" as I tried to fill the room. From what Aureen said it looks like I managed to achieve it. Yay!

L had enjoyed reading through the printouts she'd been given and had been fascinated to find that the Chakras are each linked to one of the aura bodies - this hadn't been plain in some of the other reading she had done. She said she didn't necessarily see anything when meditating, more sense things (very much like me) but she'd decided that: it didn't matter whether she saw anything or not or whether she was able to do some of the things or not - after years of putting her children, and latterly her grandchildren, first she was now doing something for herself. She was excited about it all and thoroughly enjoying herself and what mattered the most wasn't the result but the journey. Love that attitude! :0)

S2 then arrived and she was obviously a bit upset: in the course of giving a client an Indian Head Massage treatment she'd sensed that the lady had a problem area on her face - the lady's mother had had skin cancer treatment and S2 felt this was what the problem was. She wasn't sure what she should do, though she had gently suggested (trying not to worry the lady, who has anxiety problems anyway) that she should think about having it checked out. Aureen said she had done the right thing and there was nothing more she could do - it was now up to the lady to take the next step of going to her GP. She also pointed out that anyone who did, or intended to do, healing needed to ensure that they had adequate protection in place before commencing, otherwise they were in danger of constantly taking the other person's problems home with them. Multiply that by the 6 or 7 clients you may, like her, treat in a day and it means having bad problems with energy depletion etc - I guess you'd reach burn-out point pretty quickly. So the protection is to ensure that doesn't happen by helping the healer to leave the person's problems, especially when they are very deep ones, at the door. S2 does put protection in place but I think Aureen was suggesting that she needs to reinforce this somehow. It was interesting though and gave me something to think about.

By this time Sh had arrived and it became pretty apparent that A wasn't going to. Aureen hoped that her scary experience of travelling beyond the garden during the previous weeks meditation hadn't put her off - though she had had a babysitter cancel last minute last week and had hurriedly had to find another, so it was possible that babysitting was the problem this week. Aureen will be contacting her to check all is OK as we all felt it would be a shame if she did drop out: it's shaping up to be a nice group, with a good mix of ages, so it would be a real shame to lose the youngest member so soon - especially as she seems to be strongly psychic. We already knew S1 wouldn't be there, as she was away on holiday.

We took our seat in the other room (me heading away from the neighbours side again! LOL). This week there was a small table in the middle of the circle which had a red candle in a holder on it....... which went nicely with the red articles of clothing we were all wearing. :0) Aureen then showed us the symbol for the Root Chakra and told us more about it, as we were going to do a Root Chakra meditation (unfortunately we didn't get a printout of this, otherwise I'd have done a separate post about it). Among other things, it is the Chakra for the physical body and our connection to and with Mother Earth and the meditation was to connect strongly to the Earth and meet with Mother Earth to, hopefully, receive a message.

The Circle was opened, protection put in place, grounding done and we proceeded to open our Chakras. This done we then went on to more deeply ground ourselves, visualising the branches extending not just from the soles of our feet but also from our Root Chakra..... going deep into the Earth, trying to feel it, and firmly anchoring ourselves before drawing up red energy from the Earth and into our Root Chakra, then into all the Chakras and our whole body. Next was to envision sitting on Mother Earth's lap and connect with Her, allowing ourselves to go wherever she chose to take us and listening to whatever we were told. After a while Aureen drew us back and we opened our eyes, then she asked each of us in turn what we had seen and heard.

Sh had had a pretty profound experience and was a little tearful: she had "left" the room and been taken to woodlands, a beautiful and serene place that she really hadn't wanted to leave, as it's the place of peace and calm she had been looking for and had always wanted to find (her inner sanctum, I guess) and had always felt she hadn't managed to. She felt she had been taken there to show her that she just had to look inside herself: she could find it and return there whenever she wanted/needed to. What a lovely experience! Though I found it odd that Sh felt she hadn't found the calm and peace she wanted, as she really does give the impression of being a really calm person. Aureen said that Sh's experience went to underline what she had said the previous week, about feeling emotional, and the need to cry within the Circle - so be prepared.

S2 had had a few difficulties this time. She had "left" the room OK and had found herself in a nice place and had seen a Green Woman but with the face of her daughter, so she had thought it wasn't quite right, argued a little about it and had come back a little, then it seemed to change to a dream she had had last night, where she was in a lovely cottage and had been able to open the window and pick apples straight from the tree, which she really liked. She likened it to when she dreamt she met her Guide: he had been a Native American but she ended up getting into a bit of an argument with him as she felt it was all a bit cliche. You know: Oh, purrrleease, you had to be a Native American because aren't all Guides Native American? So then she felt bad and hoped she hadn't offended him. (Perhaps her upset over her client spilled into her meditation?).

Aureen went on to talk about Trust: trusting in what you are given and going with it. She also said that a lot of NA's are Guides because they were an especially Spiritual people, the bulk of whom have moved on to another plane as a whole people because they were Spiritually ready to do so - though many stayed to act as Guides and help others along their own Spiritual Path to Ascension. We would be doing a guided meditation to meet our Guides later, and we would see what unfolded, but for this next 7 weeks we would be doing the Chakra meditations, each one in turn.

So it was my turn. Aureen said I had seemed pretty focused. I felt I had been but it hadn't helped much: I hadn't really seen much of anything (maybe leopard spots and a whale's tale but they were so vague I didn't mention them). I had felt very heavy throughout and my hands got really hot, especially the palms which were virtually throbbing. Two words kept rolling around my head: Peace and Harmony. I said I felt this was probably telling me that I needed more of those in my life (though I guess it also goes for what's needed throughout this planet of ours!). I was left feeling a little frustrated with myself....... and like the dunce of the class again. And disappointed too: I'm a Pagan - connecting with Mother Earth in this way should come as naturally as breathing to me.

L said she hadn't "left" as she had been aware of the room throughout, as she usually was, and I looked at her and nodded, so she said "Are you finding that too?". Yes, that's how it is throughout most meditations for me..... unless I fall asleep. LOL Aureen said that losing awareness of your surroundings is something that comes with practice - S2 and especially Sh had had more practice so could do this....... as we practiced more we should gradually lose the awareness of our surroundings and go more deeply into the meditations. Sh hadn't got much from this meditation the first time she did it (at the previous Circle) but had done this time - because she was ready and it was the right time. Things will happen for us when it's right for us. L she knew it was the case for her, but did I find I was trying too hard? Again, yes. I was focused but felt I was perhaps too focused, wanting so much for something to happen - I regularly have to re-relax myself as I seem to tense up, as if I'm trying to push things along. Again: you can't force these things and it comes back to patience, which had cropped up in an earlier conversation. We would have to be patient, relax into the meditations and allow things to happen naturally. (Boy, this is flippin' hard! I've been working on patience most of my life and it's often pretty elusive stuff! LOL). It helped a little knowing that someone else is having similar difficulties though - hopefully we can both work our way through them. :0)

L then said she hadn't seen much but she had felt very heavy, as if her feet were firmly planted and couldn't be moved. She'd felt the energy as a kind of throb, with part of it going up to the base of her spine and it felt cold - she likened it to having an injection and feeling the fluid going in, though not as unpleasant. She also felt the rest was a pleasant feeling, almost sexual in nature: earthy. (Oh, to have her open and down-to-earth approach - I hadn't had the courage to mention that feeling!).

Aureen was pretty pleased with how it had gone and felt we had all done well. Am not so sure I would have said the same about my efforts, but there you go. LOL

She then talked about Astral Travel (only Sh felt she may have experienced this - I found it was different to those exhilarating dreams where you can fly) and gave an example of a recent happening. It gave an example of how your Spirit ears can understand foreign languages that you don't otherwise understand - so it doesn't matter if your Guide is Japanese or Native American, whatever, you will be able to hear and understand it, almost telepathically.

Then she spoke of symbols. The Spirit World often "speaks" in the language of symbols - it was up to us to find our own way of interpreting what these symbols represented, whether it be an actual representation or a symbolical one. If it was a symbolical one we would have to work out what it meant to us - no point in asking her, as she would interpret it totally differently. She gave some examples: a symbol that she is given regularly is someone dealing a deck of cards. She asks the person she's reading for if they knew someone, now in Spirit, who used to play cards - if yes, it's a literal image. I'm afraid I can't remember what she said what it then represented. She then mentioned other symbols and asked us to say what they meant to us. Cracked wedding ring: L said divorce, Sh a break up, I said a parting and S2 said writing in the middle (she wasn't sure herself what that meant but it's what came to her); Stork: L and I said birth, Sh and S2 said a baby; Butterfly: S2 said a happy occasion, L something along the same lines (can't properly remember), I said a soul and L said a parted loved one - for Aureen it's a happy development but one that will be short-lived; Tree: I said Tree of Life and all that goes with it, but also the Family tree, L Tree of Life (we do seem to think along the same lines!), can't remember the others clearly but they were along the lines of strength, shelter, firm grounding etc.

We then had to close our eyes, empty our minds and see if we were given any symbols, sense who it was for and if there was anything else we'd been given. Aureen then went round the Circle, letting each of us say what we'd seen. Sh had seen a fluffy dog, sort of like a lapdog type (she referred to it as one you could carry around and was a little spoilt) and asked if it meant anything to us: S2 has dogs. She said she'd seen it sitting between herself and S2, so that would explain it, and that she'd seen it being taken somewhere and it being quite happy. S2 had taken it to the groomers to be trimmed, so it wasn't all fluffy any more - Aureen made a joke about now she knows that he was quite happy to be de-fluffed. LOL Pretty amazing accuracy!

S2 had seen a cottage (referred to as a tiny one that you had to duck under beams) but had then seen a cliff top and had looked down to see a beach with up-turned fishing boats on it - it was for L. L smiled and said that she and her DH currently live in a cottage, though not a small/duck head one - she originally came from close to the coast in Kent. Her DH is a local man and is quite settled where he is, she's reasonably content but her ideal would be to go back to live on the coast. Another good one!

The bit I'd dreaded - my turn and what had happened was far from impressive: need more practice were my first words. I did get impressions but, as I explained, when I got them I wasn't quite sure if it was what I was supposed to be getting or if my mind had wandered, so I pushed them away and tried again then didn't get anywhere. Aureen asked if I'd managed to clear my mind - I had and it had worked better than it usually does.... which is why I had a problem with it: I'd assumed I was having the same mind wandering problems I have at home, which is why I'd pushed things away and made such a bog of it. I think it comes down to Trust: I need to learn to trust in myself and my instincts more fully and in what I'm being given - if I don't then I'm not going to get anywhere. She said I'd done well to do the mind clearing as that isn't always easy.

L had got the name Peter and felt it was for me. I could only think of the two Peter's, my neighbours - a fabulous gay couple who are the best neighbours we've ever had. Far nicer than the previous miserable so-and-so and his dogs who used to live there. Another result. :0)

Aureen herself had seen a huge egg that had cracked open: it was for Sh and she felt that it was a message of Spiritual rebirth for her...... a coming into her own and a sign that that time was right for her to achieve those things she had always striven for. Sh was pleased. :0)

Aureen then asked if any of us had any questions. S2 said no question but she said she felt drawn to L because she felt, although she'd never met her prior to the Circle meetings, that she knew her. She said that she didn't want to sound weird but she actually felt like she wanted to hug her..... and that she'd also felt instantly comfortable with everyone in the group. She'd been really glad when Aureen had told her that I would be part of the group and I told her that I'd known I would see her again. Aureen explained that we didn't know each other well but had met once before, at an Angel Workshop.

Aureen said it was always good, initially, that a Circle didn't know much about each other: that way when we start getting messages and the like and have successes we'll know it's not because we know a lot about the person and are relying on that knowledge. What S2 had said was a good sign that the group would gel well.... and that she may well have known L before - in a previous life. We'd be going into past lives further down the line, so we may well have chance to find that out. :0)

Personally: I felt instantly relaxed with L, and that doesn't happen very often when I meet new people; I was glad to see S2 again; I'm drawn to Sh, for whatever reasons; I keep thinking I've seen S1 before; A has a look of Helen about her - initially a little unnerving but was OK with that last week. On the whole I look forward to each meeting and certainly felt much more relaxed with all of them this week.

With this we closed down our Chakras, pulled up our grounding anchors and wrapped ourselves in our cloaks of protection, then closed the Circle. That one and a half hours goes by so quickly! Next week it's the Sacral Chakra meditation.... not sure I have anything orange to wear but I do have an orange crystal I can take. LOL

It wasn't until I was in the car and on my way home that I suddenly realised I had been given something when we did the mind clearing bit: I had very clearly heard the name Janice....... but had pushed it away as a mind wander. I could have kicked myself! So I've made a note and will mention it next week and hope that someone can own it. So now it's a case of trying to develop those things that came out of this weeks session: patience, trust, peace and harmony. I could be gone some time! ROFL

HEALTH and HEALING FESTIVAL - HARROGATE

It was the 4th Health and Healing Festival at The Pavilions in Harrogate (the Showground) over the weekend (26 and 27 September). DS had been to this event, with our friend Alex, last year and had enjoyed it and we were curious to see what was on offer, so we decided to have a trip over there on the Sunday.

As usual we had a slight detour (referred to in the family as: Smithy's scenic route! LOL). We did have SatNav but it seems that to get the updates with the latest roads added you need to pay a subscription..... and DH won't pay it........ so some of the roads weren't on there and it kept trying to send us off in all kinds of directions. So DH started ignoring it....... only he ignored it once too often and we didn't go down a road we should have done, had to double back and then had a bit of a tootle around Wetherby to get back to where we needed to be. It makes things interesting, I guess. Though any more than the 10-15 minutes delay we had before we reached The Pavilions and their much needed facilities and the car upholstery would have needed drying out! LOL

We grabbed our bags, along with the packed lunch I'd made, and headed in. After finding and using the facilities we headed for the second room full of stalls, as DH said he hadn't liked the atmosphere in the first room we'd just come through - can't say as I'd noticed: I was too focused on finding the little girl's room LOL. The venue was split between two rooms (Aire and Wharfe)that had a corridor running between them, giving it a U shape - in the U and outside there was a colonnaded area along each side with grass in the middle, where there were wooden chairs and seats for sitting out. The second room had the cafe area at one end and a stage in the middle, with a sitting area, where various musicians gave performances throughout the day - unfortunately Dragonfly Moon weren't one of them, as they'd had to drop out of the event "due to unforeseen circumstances".

We had a little wander around the room, taking stock of what was there. As we reached the far side I noticed an aura photographer with a difference: they didn't just do the head and shoulders pic like I'd had before but also did a full body one that showed your Chakras and a different full body one that looked like the Michelangelo Vitruvian Man with coloured areas across it - the area on one side was for the current situation and the other side for what was to come in the next 6 months. I zoomed in for a closer look and the lady started chatting to me, explaining a little about what each variation showed and that it was best to go with the one you felt most drawn to. I knew which one immediately: the Chakra colour one. So I took off my magnetic bracelet, sat in the chair, placed my hand on the hand shaped area on the box and looked into the camera. Here's the resultant print out:



There's an awful lot of information on it so I may do a separate post on it at a future date - it made interesting reading for me and seemed pretty accurate. I guess it explains why I'm drawn to sea blues and greens, with the turquoisey colours being particular favourites. The lady then pointed out that my Solar Plexus Chakra was closed up tight when it should be swirling (my stomach had been feeling iffy for a few days and I had done my usual pulling in/protection before going in the room - not surprising it showed somewhere in the pic). I said generally I could usually tell now when something was wrong with my Chakras as I felt out of kilter. She mentioned that there was a high level of Spirituality shown in my Aura - I smiled and told her I had recently started attending a Development Circle. She said that I needed to take in what was being taught but not to think I had to do it as told to - as I did most things instinctively I should continue to go with my gut instinct and find my own way...... and if things weren't clear I should ask "them upstairs" to make it clearer for me. I laughed and told her that, funnily enough, I had started to work with Angels more just recently - I think she sensed this, which is why she'd taken me aside to tell me all this. She then said that that was better: I'd opened up, it's how I should be and didn't I feel better for it? Actually, yes.... and my stomach felt calmer too. I took my pic and read out, thanked her and we carried on.

As we were both feeling hungry by this time we headed out to the outside seating area where we spotted our DS and Alex having their packed lunch, so we sat with them while we had ours. They hadn't arrived much before us but DS had had an annoying experience with a stallholder in the first room: he'd been stood by the stall, having a nosey at the crystals whilst Alex was having a look at something in particular. The stallholder (an woman in her 60's) had been getting real chatty with another customer, then she came up behind my DS, stuck her hands on his hips and moved him bodily out of the way. No manners used at all, just a real rudeness and a hint of bad attitude towards a young person.... from someone that was of an age to really know better. DS and Alex were so taken aback by it they didn't say anything - needless to say, they walked away and didn't spend any money there. I do wonder of this is what DH picked up on? Though DS and Alex also said they felt the first room didn't have a good feeling about it and hadn't spent much time in there, particularly after the incident - they felt it was far more commercialised than the previous year. By this time they'd done and went off for another wander, leaving DH and I to finish our meals and drinks.

When we'd done we headed back into the second room again. This time I spotted some fab wrist warmers that a lady on the Pendragon Crafts stall was selling - and knitting more of when she wasn't serving customers. Here's the pretty ones I succumbed to:

They are actually a bit darker than shown and that felt daisy lets you know which way on they should go. The thinking is that they'll be great to wear out when I'm shopping: long enough to curl my fingers back into, to keep them warm, but will leave them free for when I want to pay for things. They'll also be really useful when I'm sat at the computer and the room gets cold and my fingers start getting chilled: I'll still be able to type! LOL (In fact I'm wearing them now and they work really well!)

Next we headed over to the He Hi She Lo stall, which is one of my favourite crystal stalls. He didn't have any howlite - he'd had to leave some of his stock at home as the stall space given here was much smaller than that given at the Lincolnshire Showground event, so I said not to worry as we planned on attending it. Next I asked if he had any moonstone: he had some small tumblestones but he realised (without my mentioning it) that I wanted the blue moonstone. He said that the Sri Lankan mines were still flooded from the Boxing Day tsunami so the only pieces that were currently available were ones that had previously ended up on the scrapheap and they weren't worth having, so he wouldn't buy them. He said that he did have some nice ones in jewellery, if that was any use. Actually yes, as I wanted the use the moonstone as an Angelic talisman to wear. He handed me the first piece and it felt lovely and had a lovely blue shine to it, then showed me a silver pendant with a small piece of moonstone in it - I rejected that immediately as I hadn't liked it when I saw it earlier. Then he handed me a larger third piece.... but that had more of a lilacy sheen to it. The first piece it definitely was:

Unfortunately he didn't have a silver chain long enough for what I wanted.... so, as he polished the pendant before popping it in a bag for me, he said that as he hadn't got everything I wanted he would knock off £3. Wasn't that nice of him? Here's a chap who cares about the crystals he sells and his customers. :0) I thanked him, said we'd see him at Lincolnshire Showground in November and said goodbye.

Next we wandered over to the Shifa Meditation stall to have a look at the incense they had. I'd heard that using certain proper incense on a burner could aid the meditative state..... and frankly, at this point, it feels like I could use all the help I can get! LOL The chap opened some of the bags so we could sniff the contents and Oh, did they smell divine! I do have an oil burner but it's glazed, so is only suitable for use with oils, not with charcoal, so we took the last burner he had too.... and as it was one he'd been using for display and had got a little grubby in the burning area he knocked us a £1 off. Another kindness. :0) Here's what we came home with:

We can also put a lit tealight in the body, to make it look really effective or to use it as an oil burner too. Even kinder was my lovely DH who treated me to these. :0)

We finally headed through into the other room at this point, as the Magik Thread stall was in there and I wanted to have a look at a couple of things. They didn't have the Angel cards I was looking for but they did have the other item I wanted:

I find this a really useful diary as it not only lists all the Festival Days, the moon phases and planet alignments but also which days are best for planting and which for harvesting. A must for planting out and harvesting, especially harvesting of herbs.

By this time we were quite thirsty and ready for a break, so we popped to the cafe to get a drink and scone for DH and a cup of hot water for me - a Health and Healing event that didn't have a herbal tea in sight, would you credit that?!! Good job I carry a selection round with me so I can brew my own! We sat out in the grassed area again but it was a bit gusty by this time, so we had to keep hold of everything..... though it did help blow the cobwebs away and freshen us up. LOL All the while we were sat out we could hear music from Huellos (pronounced Wayas) - performers from Ecuador playing their native music. Fabulous!

We went back in pretty smart'ish after this and went for a better wander around the first room - the atmosphere in there seemed to have changed and it was much more pleasant in there. This time I spotted another of the items I'd been hoping to find at this event: a lapis lazuli pendant, as an aid at the Development Circle, on another crystal stall. As I was handling the piece I heard the stallholder say to her colleague "It's talking to mummy". I wouldn't have put it quite like that but I did get a nice feeling from it, so it came home with me:

Not the best picture but it will give you an idea as to the lovely colours and sparkle in it. It was satisfying to have found most of what had been on my list. After completing a lap of this room we decided to have one last look round the other room to check out the stand that Huellos had. DH had been as taken with their music as I had been and after a nosey at their CD's he treated himself to this one:

They both looked pretty impressive too in their costumes and with their faces painted (differently to how they look in the CD picture). We also had one more impromptu buy (not pictured) of a pair of Trayner pinhole glasses. They seemed a bit of a gimmicky thing initially.... until we both tried them. Normally I can't see a great lot when I take my specs off due to be short-sighted - I could read the blurry first and second lines of the opticians alphabet thing.... the third line I had to squint like mad to make out anything - put the specs on and I could read every line, including the last and smallest one. Wow! DH must have been impressed because he paid for a pair that we could share.... so we take it in turns to wear them for 15 minutes each day, so we can hopefully make our eye muscles a little stronger and stop any further deterioration in our vision. Who knows, maybe we'll be able to eventually swap the lenses in our current specs for a less strong prescription. Fingers crossed!

After a final visit to the facilities we headed back to the car.... just in time to wave goodbye to DS and Alex, who were just driving out of the car park. Thankfully the journey home proved to be much more straightforward and, as DS had let us know that he was eating at Alex's, DH took us out to a local pub for our tea. A nice end to a good day. :0)

Discussing the event later with DS we all agreed that, though it had on the whole been a good day, it had also been a little disappointing in some ways: compared to the Lincolnshire event (run by another group) it seemed much more cramped - despite being in two rooms - and seemed to have more of an emphasis on commercial stalls. There seemed to be more rude people there too: I lost count on the amount of times I'd been knocked or someone had pushed in front of me - at one point this was quite deliberately done too - though I hadn't let it aggravate or upset me (a big improvement to how I was just a short time ago). Some of the worst offenders were from the organiser's team! There were also way more readers (of tarot, runes or whatever) than usual too. DS said it had been much better the previous year.... a shame we hadn't gone then. It's doubtful we'll go again - I would like to try either the Buxton or Ilkley Holistic Fairs instead, to see what they are like.... but we'll wait and see what the future has in store first. :0)

SPIRITUALIST CHURCH

DH and I finally made it to our local Spiritualist Church on Saturday night, after several previous attempts to do so failed miserably, for one reason or another.

We arrived about five minutes before 7pm and took our seats towards the back in what was a reasonable full room - mostly women, of varying ages, with the occasional male dotted here and there. The main room walls are painted in a soothing shade of blue and there was a wooden lectern towards the middle area at the front, with another larger wooden stand to the left and a table further back. Three doorways were curtained with velvety curtains in a deeper blue shade of blue. A picture of Jesus was on the front wall and there were a few other things dotted around on the walls and a couple of flower arrangements here and there (probably silk). It had a nice atmosphere.

We noticed there were a few people at the front giving individual flowers to a lady who was obviously organising things and she placed these in a small box that was on the larger wooden stand. When everyone had taken their seats she closed the front door and took her place at the lectern, where she greeted everyone and introduced herself for the sake of new people joining them (us and a couple of others, I think) - unfortunately I can't remember her name. She then introduced another lady, who had come out from a room that was behind the curtained doorway to the left and taken a seat at the table - I think her name was Betty, who looked to be in her 50's or so, and she had a lovely lilting Scottish accent.

The service was opened with the Spiritualist hymn and a prayer (along the lines of the prayer that Aureen uses when she opens our Circle, but this one was patriarchal, it being a Christian church). We then had to stand to sing the first hymn....... and this was one of those odd moments that come up through your life that lets you know there's something more going on/a message being given. The hymn was "Fight the Good Fight". What was so odd about this? Well....... when my DBro, DSis and myself were talking to the chap from the Funeral Home, planning our Dad's funeral, he asked what hymn we would like to have sung. The three of us looked at each other but hesitated to say anything - then my DBro said he'd just had the name of one hymn pop into his head. We looked at each other again and the three of us said "Fight the Good Fight". The FH chap said it was slightly unusual for a funeral but he'd had much stranger requests and was happy to arrange it. Later, when talking to the Lay Preacher from the church she also said she thought it was an unusual one for a funeral but had thought again when she sat and read the words again. As we explained to both of them: Dad had been a fighter all his life - not literally, but in that he didn't let his lousy upbringing keep him back and he made a good life for himself and us, his family, and he never let anything or anyone keep him down for long....... and when the cancer struck he put up a bloody good fight right up until the end. It was appropriate.

This was the first time since the funeral that I'd heard this hymn. Let's just say I didn't get to sing much of it and it was a good job I'd had the foresight to pop a tissue in my pocket! LOL Thankfully I collected myself fairly quickly once it had ended.

After this the Scottish lady proceeded to choose a flower at a time and give a reading on what she could pick up about the person who had brought it in. In one way this was disappointing: the regulars had known what was happening so had come prepared but newbies like ourselves were, effectively, left out....... but I had never seen this done before and it was really fascinating to see.

Basically she chose a flower and proceeded to study it for a while, gently stroking the petals and leaves and then giving a reading from what she picked up from it, saying a little about what she thought it represented, the kind of personality she thought the person had and any problems she felt the person had gone through etc etc.

Now she hadn't been present in the room when the people gave the flowers to the other lady and the other lady hadn't gone into the other room where she was waiting - all the flowers were laid in a box and there was nothing to identify them with the person who had brought them in. It was all done anonymously and it was only after she had done a reading that she asked who's flower it was and asked if they could own what she said. It seemed to be extremely accurate from what the people were saying. Who would have thought that a flower that was picked just before they set off for the church could reveal so much about the person who had chosen it?

When all the flowers had been chosen and a reading given the collection plate was offered round and money duly given (note to self: I must refrain from referring to this as: The Whip Round LOL) and we then went on to sing the final hymn, which was Amazing Grace (still a firm favourite with me). All the hymns were sung without musical accompaniment which we found a little odd but, thankfully, there were several people there who knew how to carry a tune and the hymns were well known to us (apart from the Spiritualist one), so it helped keep things sounding reasonable. :0)

The organiser lady then read out some notices: the Open Circle, for Development, is on Wednesday nights at 7.30pm; Thursday nights was something else (can't remember, unfortunately); who the reader would be for the following week and, the bit that really made an impact....... Ian Lawman would be the guest at their church on the 22nd October. The last time we saw Ian was at one of the Pink Pig evening events and he gave us messages from our Dad - that was just a short time after he'd crossed over. Now Dad wasn't overly keen on some of the TV psychics but he was impressed with Ian (David Wells was another) so it was doubly pleasing that we had messages. Another case of synchronicity: I made a note in my diary for that date. :0) A closing prayer was then said and then everyone thanked the two ladies and made their way out.

What I really liked about the service (?) were the little bits of humour that cropped up throughout which kept both the mood and feeling light and interesting - by far a much more relaxed way than many a church I've been in in my time. It was also nice, as a Pagan in a Christian church, not to feel outright discomfort at being there and I would go again and probably would be OK about going there on my own too....... though I wouldn't be quite so happy about having to walk back up the High Street on my own on a Saturday night. Things were definitely a tad lively down there!

CHAKRAS

Humans are made up of many Chakras. We have seven major, twenty-one minor, forty-nine minute and numerous minuscule Chakras. They are wheels of Divine light.

The seven major Chakras radiate out from different points along the spine to the top of the head. The Chakras profoundly affect your spirit, mind and body. It is through the Chakras that these aspects of your being are connected and can be aligned and balanced. They are not in the physical body - they are a part of the Subtle Energy body. They do, however, have direct correspondences in the body and mind.

ROOT CHAKRA: is the seat of your security and stability. When it is open you are in tune with your deepest sense of belonging, of safety, of being at home in the world and your body. Its colour is red.

SACRAL CHAKRA: is the seat of your creative energy on every level - physical, artistic and sexual. When open you are capable of feeling joy in your body. You are radiant and alive. Its colour is orange.

SOLAR PLEXUS CHAKRA: this is your connection point to your will and personal power. When open know that you are strong and whole and able to do all the things you came into this life to do. Its colour is yellow.

HEART CHAKRA: is the seat of love and emotions. Connect with your loving nature, the strength and tenderness of your feelings. Know that you are a being of love, born to give love and to receive love. Its colour is green.

THROAT CHAKRA: is the seat of compassion and peace; feel your connection to friends, family and to all of humanity. Know that you are a part of all that is. Its colour is blue.

BROW CHAKRA: is the seat of expanded awareness, of psychic perception. Know that you can awaken your extrasensory perception to see, hear and feel into other worlds. Its colour is indigo.

CROWN CHAKRA: connects you to your God-consciousness, to your Higher Self. Its colour is violet.

DEVELOPMENT CIRCLE - 22ND SEPTEMBER

This week the timings went even better so there wasn't the mad dash in the car to get there in reasonable time but more of a leisurely drive...... much nicer on my nerves. :0)

When I arrived this week S2 pulled up in her car at the same time and when we went in we found one of the new ladies had arrived, L, and Aureen introduced us. L hadn't been to a Circle before but she did already know quite a bit about Chakras and Auras, saying she was very well read - for some reason I felt relaxed with her immediately. Aureen had been giving her a run down of what we'd covered the previous two weeks and given her the print outs for them, so she could read them at home and practice the techniques.

Aureen then asked us if we'd been practicing the Aura sensing at home. S2 had done a little on herself and had also tried it with her pets - she seemed to be doing pretty well. As for me, eeerrmmm....... well I can do the hand energy sensing technique quite nicely - in fact that seems to feel much stronger/intense to me - but as I couldn't remember how to do the Aura sensing bit I wasn't sure if what I did the once I tried was actually right. I don't like doing these things when I don't know if I'm doing them right, as I don't want to drain my energy or inadvertently leave myself open to anything....... the bit on improper psychic activity causing your Aura damage sticks in my mind. By this time S1 and then A arrived. Sh was on holiday...... it's beginning to look like the other two ladies are going to be permanent no-shows.

We went through into the other room and took a seat. This time I opted for a chair on the opposite side, next to the patio doors and away from the dividing wall with the neighbours, and next to S2. She was a bit surprised and said something about me swapping sides, so I said after last week I thought it might be better to be away from........ and she immediately said: the noisy neighbours. It seemed worth the try - though, as Sod's Law always dictates, they were a darned sight quieter this week anyway. :0)

Aureen then said we would be working with all of our Chakras this week and read out a little about each of the Chakras and their "functions" (not sure how else to phrase it - will do a separate post on these). She then went on to ask if any of us had been noticing colours more since last week: the colours our homes were decorated in; the ones we seem drawn to; the colours of our clothes etc etc and how these colours made us feel. Oddly enough all of us - bar S1, who was on holiday last week - had chosen to wear something red, be it a top or woolly. I have been noticing but, up until recently, it's been much more on a sub-conscious level - such as feeling drawn to wearing certain colours at certain times, in the same way that I'm drawn to wear or use a particular crystal at certain times and not at others. I don't usually consciously think about it because I've long since accepted that these things happen for a reason: they are instinctive, in response to some subliminal need. I answer that need - I benefit from it. (Just makes me wonder: if I have to consciously think about these things will I lose the instinct?).

After a brief discussion we then went on to open the Circle, placed ourselves in our bubbles of protection and grounded ourselves. Aureen checked we'd all done it, especially L with her being new, and said that, as the weeks go on, she won't talk us through the protection, grounding and opening of Chakras but will just tell us to do it, as she will expect us to be practiced enough to do this on our own. This should make this part go quicker, leaving us more time for the "fun stuff". Next Aureen led us through Chakra opening but with a difference: we had to concentrate on each Chakra, starting at the Root and working up to the Crown, concentrating on the colours. She read out several associations for each of the colours, such as: fire engine for the Root; oranges for Sacral; daffodils for Solar Plexus; grass for Heart; summer sky for Throat; velvet curtains or night sky for Third Eye and African Violets for Crown. As each Chakra was reached and the associations read out we had to visualise the colour spreading through our bodies, from our feet up to our heads. Then we had to visualise the colours merging - can't remember quite what we did with it then.
I do know we then had to visualise our roots growing down deep into Mother Earth, spreading wide, then pulled up the energy through those roots and into our bodies - then visualise branches growing out from our Crown Chakras, up into the Cosmos and spreading far and wide, then pulling that white light energy into our bodies. Then we breathed Earth energy up and Cosmos energy down, allowing the two to meet and mingle (can't remember if it was at Solar Plexus or Heart level though). After a little while we allowed the energy to flow out and pulled in the branches, opening our eyes and turning our hands over when we felt ready.

Aureen went around the group asking each of us in turn how it had gone. S2 said she'd felt herself go quite deeply into the meditation, though she felt it was a bit too deep as she'd had to consciously make the effort to stay awake a few times (I know that feeling well - unfortunately I don't manage to stay awake when I'm at home! LOL). She admitted that she did feel a little tired so Aureen felt that was probably why. It had gone OK for L (being a keen gardener she visualises her Chakra colours through flowers anyway), S2 and A. I seemed to be having a better time too: I had my usual lukewarm start with the colours but as soon as Aureen gave the associations for them they suddenly became much stronger and clearer; visualising roots I can do, the branches a little harder but I felt it had gone OK. Aureen asked about us feeling any differences between the two energies but at this point I couldn't really tell. Much of what we're doing is new to me and I'm getting used to that and having to zone out all those other folks deep breathing (don't get that at home as I'm on my own when I meditate).... so reckon it'll take a bit longer and more practice for me to pick up on such subtleties.

S2, L and myself had all felt really warm throughout the whole meditation (S2 and L actually had to take their woollies off for a time) but S1 and A had felt cold. A said she didn't know why but she'd been left feeling happy and giggly - we didn't figure that one out. LOL Aureen did warn us though that, as we went on to work with Spirit, we may well find ourselves being affected when Spirit was trying to get a message across and may well find ourselves suddenly bursting into tears and if that happened we were to go with it, always knowing that our Guides wouldn't allow us to be harmed. I'm an emotional person anyway (Cancerian)...... goodness knows what I'll be like then! Guess it's a good job I always carry plenty of tissues around with me. :0)

We then went on to do another guided meditation, this time visualising going into a garden, our "safe place". This involved walking down a country lane, going through a gate that we closed behind us and on into our garden, wandering around it and taking notice of what was there, sitting for a while on a seat that was there, again noticing sights, sounds, feelings and tastes, before walking back through the gate and back up the country lane and returning.

S2 walked through a door, which she said was the Secret Garden door (invisible to all but her) and she always visualised her parent's garden, from when she was a child, and where she always felt safe: a high wall around, lots of flowers and trees and a water feature with pond and some fruit around - she tried the strawberries but it wasn't strong like real ones, sort of "washed out".

L walked through a five-bar farm gate (I think) and visualised her Dad's garden (where she gets her love of gardening) in all its glory and she also tasted fruit: cherries. I think her garden was open (ie no walls or fences).

S1 (can't remember the gate) has an OH who turned their mostly grass garden into one with lots of flower beds and she preferred the minimalistic garden: hers was mostly grass, which felt very spongy underfoot, and I think she said a small water feature - much as she'd preferred the real life garden to stay. I think she had walls around hers.

I surprised myself this week: I walked down the lane (walked plenty of these IRL, so that was OK), saw a white picket gate and walked through it and then saw lots of beautiful flowers, all awash with colour, and a high wooden fence all around, then it became less vivid and went to impressions: got an impression of a small fountain (that surprised me because I want a waterfall and pond IRL) a wooden garden bench that had a wrought ironwork frame/arms and a gorgeous Silver Birch tree. Aureen said Silver Birch? I said yes, well actually IRL I originally fancied a Weeping Willow tree but it's far too big for my garden so now I have a real yen for a SB tree instead - the one I saw was fully grown, lots of trailing branches and leaves and had a wooden seat built around the trunk. She then gave me another of those beady looks and a big smile and asked if any of us had ever heard of Silver Birch the Spirit Guide - no, we hadn't. She told us he was a well known Guide in Spiritualist Circles and she told us a story of her friend, another Spiritualist, who had once gone looking for books in the gardening section of a book store and picked one up that had Silver Birch in the title, expecting it to be about trees......... and it was about the Guide. It gave them both a good laugh - but what are the odds on that? :0)

A (can't remember the gate) had the typical flowery garden, no wall or fence, and had enjoyed the wander around initially but she said it then changed, she didn't know why, and she hadn't like it. She'd walked out of her garden and suddenly found herself on a clifftop, with a lighthouse along a ways, and the sea far below - she mentioned a man being there and feeling like jumping off. Scary stuff - not surprising she didn't like it!

Aureen mentioned the high walls/fences that three of us had - meant for keeping people out, not for sharing and did we feel like that? We all did for varying reasons, mine being to do with the agoraphobia keeping me isolated from all but close family and one friend and now having to re-learn certain social skills as a result. Aureen said we would have to lower those walls/fences to develop the trust necessary to work well as a group (something I realised last week) and then laughed and said with the exception of A, and that we'll have to make sure she's got a small fence to keep her safely in her garden. LOL It helped to ease A's worries - though I noticed she hung back when we were leaving, so I think she and Aureen will have talked further about this after the rest of us had gone.

Aureen recommended that we practice this garden safe place meditation at home, as we would be visiting there quite a bit as we worked: presumably we will go there, on separate occasions, to meet our Guides, Guardian Angel and Totem Animal/s, at least. She then asked if we had any questions, so I asked her just to run through what I had to do for the Aura sensing as I couldn't remember it and had had problems with it - and it seems I had about done what I was supposed to on my sole practice last week, which was heartening. Out of curiosity L asked S2 if, when she was in her safe place - her parents' garden - did she also see herself as a child again and she said she usually did. I was reaching for my bottle of water to have a drink (had almost knocked it over, so had most of my attention on juggling it) so missed the last bit of this.

As there were no other questions the Circle was closed. Just as an aside: L was sat to my left, her grip on my hand when opening and closing the Circle was solid, confident and assured (not like one of those clammy, half-hearted efforts some handshakers give - you know, the kind that usually leave you surreptitiously wiping your hand on your trouser leg). It underlined my first impression of her. Aureen then said she thought the evening had gone really well (we agreed) and that we were certainly further along than she would have expected at this stage - that boded well for how we would work together. We did have to realise that not everyone would be good at everything we covered (eg psychometry: some folks can pick up lots with this and others absolutely nothing), there were bound to be a mix of strengths and weaknesses, but we definitely had the makings of a really good group. :0)

So this week I came away feeling much less like the dunce of the group and much more positive and "bouncy"........ and definitely excited about what's to come. Next week it's a Root Chakra meditation, so the red woolly my DSis gave me last weekend will be having another outing (good job she gave me it!)...... and I'd best go have a ferret round to see if there's anything orange in my wardrobe/drawers for the following week. ;0)

DEVELOPMENT CIRCLE - 15TH SEPTEMBER

Well the slight reorganisation of meals and getting things ready beforehand worked out slightly better, in that I wasn't late for the Development Circle this week.... though things did end up slightly rushed. That was mostly because DH runs on a totally separate time continuum to everyone else and will not be hurried, no matter how much you ask, plead or threaten dire consequences if he doesn't pull his finger out. LOL Thankfully the Honda is a speedy little number and can take full advantage of the faster stretches of road - though that's not always good for my heart rate or blood pressure. ;0)

When I arrived there was just Aureen and S2, so we sat and nattered until Sh and A arrived. Aureen had hoped that another lady, J, would turn up but she didn't - the two other ladies expected that night had already phoned to say they couldn't make it. Hopefully those three will come next week and boost the numbers further - S1 should be back then too.

This week Aureen read us a piece about the Aura written by Ursula Roberts (some of it can be seen here - scroll down a little). Over the years I've picked up some basic knowledge about auras but it was interesting to realise that it's not only opening and closing of chakras but also the expanding and contracting of each members aura that can have an effect on how well a Circle runs. There was a line drawn picture for us to see showing the difference between strong and weak auric emanations and a list of what can adversely affect your own aura: poor diet; lack of exercise; lack of fresh air; lack of rest; stress; alcohol; drugs; tobacco; negative habits and improper psychic activity....... and illness will also make a difference, though that's mostly to the colours.

There was also a diagram to show the different aura layers and what they are called: the Etheric body; the Astral body; the Feeling body; the Lower Mental body; the Higher Mental body and the Soul body. Plus there was some information about each body/layer and what they do/why they are there (couldn't think of any other way of phrasing it). To be honest I was a bit disgusted about how basic my knowledge of this actually was - I've barely scratched the surface and am in serious need of much more reading up on the subject.

Aureen then proceeded to open the Circle, then we went on to place ourselves in our bubbles of protection and open our Chakras. Two things became pretty clear to me straight away: 1) the neighbours were definitely feeling much livelier than they had been the previous week, therefore the noise was much more of a distraction and 2) my concentration levels, for various reasons, were all over the place. It was a struggle to make sure I did everything properly but seemed to get there in the end.

Aureen asked if any of us had seen or sensed auras before. Most of us had met people we had an instant aversion to and had made us feel as if we'd pulled away from them and also met others that we'd been instantly pulled towards; or walked inot a room filled with happiness and laughter and felt like we'd "expanded" into it and also been in situations where we picked up on others moods and feelings and been affected by them. I think Sh and S2 said they had vaguely seen auras a few times. I said I hadn't seen an aura but thinking about it later am not sure if that was quite right: I've previously been laid in bed in my darkened bedroom doing relaxation breathing, have raised my arm and seen a slight glowing layer around it - up until now I've just assumed it's a trick of the dark/light on my retina that's caused but is it? I'll have to ask about that next week.

So it was on to sensing our own aura: eyes closed, three deep breaths in and out, pulling energy along our chakras and using it to sense our aura. I now know I was having more serious concentration problems than I originally thought because I can't actually remember exactly what we did - and that means I can't practise this at home, in the hopes of doing better next week. How bad is that? :0( I know I didn't do it right because initially I was doing it like a creative visualisation (imagining a screen in front of your third eye and seeing the image/s on that) when I was actually supposed to be sensing out from my own body, iykwim. Despite the error I think I sensed "something" but I couldn't tell you what - I certainly didn't see any colours, presumably because I hadn't done it right in the first place.

From this we then had to imagine our auras stretching out towards the person on our left (Aureen) and our right (A), all the while trying to sense or see the colours in the person's aura. My usual problem: the impressions I got were so quick it was impossible to register them, let alone make any sense of them. From there we had to then stretch our aura all around the group. This may seem odd but it seems, as Aureen told us later, that we need to be able to do this blending of our auras so we can work together as a cohesive Circle, to raise enough energy to go on and do all the other things eg: psychometry, mediumship, healing etc etc. Then we had to pull them back to ourselves and relax.

Aureen then started asking each one of us if we had sensed the colours of our own aura. Sh had seen several colours, S2 and A had seen or sensed a particular colour in theirs. Me? No colours, possibly a vague "something". She then asked each one in turn what they had sensed about the people either side of them, starting with Sh: she had been to a previous Circle run by Aureen so has been through some of the exercises before (though not this one) - she also seems the strongest developed of the group (apart from Aureen, of course) - she'd seen red for Aureen and green for S2.
S2 had sensed colours for Sh (purple I think) and either yellow or orange for A.
A had seen/sensed a little white and another colour around S2 and had sensed a little blue to me but also seen bright white from both my hands.
Aureen did say what she'd sensed for me and Sh but I can't remember what she said. She did explain a little about what each colour meant as she went round but I can't recall that either.
Then it was my turn and I definitely felt like the group dunce by now: what I'd seen was too fleeting and I didn't sense anything more than feeling warmth when we all extended our auras around the group - I knew I'd felt that because the rest of the time I was cold. LOL I couldn't help feeling frustrated nor stop myself from wondering if I was going to end up holding everyone back because, as Aureen explained, we need to be able to do these things well - and do them more speedily than we do them now - so we can go on and do the other work effectively. :0(

I admitted I may have problems with aura expansion because of my previous problems with agoraphobia and panic attacks. I explained that when I go out and I have to be in a very busy room (especially so when I'm eating out) and I don't want to feel overwhelmed by everyone around me I do something that's totally self-taught which I likened to "pulling myself in". I'm not really sure what I do or quite how I do it - I just do it. Now we'd done the aura thing (well, I had - sort of) was that what I was doing, pulling my aura in? Aureen said it was and made a joke of not wanting to share myself. I explained it wasn't so much that but more of a defense mechanism I'd learned to stop the panic attacks from happening, so I was more used to pulling in/closing down than opening up. I noticed Sh seemed to look as though what I'd just said had explained something for her - something she'd picked up on, maybe?

I didn't mention that because I'd had agoraphobia it had taught me to be used to and happy with my own company for much of the time (had to or I'd have gone stir crazy otherwise) and I am used to keeping myself occupied with solo activities, such as needlecrafts, computing and reading etc etc for much of the time. I also got used to only seeing my loved ones and one friend for much of the time I suffered from it too. So, basically, agoraphobia makes you become a tad anti-social. Compared to the time I spent on my own I haven't been getting out and about on a regular basis and meeting people again for very long really and most social skills are having to be re-learned.... and I've just been told I've got do something as intimate as sharing my aura with a group of people I barely know on a weekly basis. OK.... so now I really need to get my head around and beyond that, learn to be fully open and trusting...... and get some serious practice in to learn the techniques or I will be holding the group back.

Next we had to direct our thoughts to the person we felt drawn to and see if we could sense their aura. Sh chose A: she saw yellow and was drawn to her as she felt lively. I can't remember the others. I was drawn to Sh: again I didn't sense or see colours but I was drawn to her because of the calmness within her. Perhaps that may have been because it's something I could do with developing...... or maybe just because it's soothing. :0)

After this the Circle was closed and then Aureen asked if anyone had any questions about anything. A said she did, though it was more to satisfy her curiosity: she recapped on sensing my aura and seeing both my hands giving off white light and asked me if I was a healer. It gave me an odd sensation. I said no but that someone (my regular M,B&S tarot reader, Leonie) had actually told me a couple of times that I had healing hands. Aureen said yes, she remembered me mentioning it - so I said that the same person had also told me that I had missed my calling and that I should have been a nurse. Aureen got a big smile on her face and said yes, I should have been and I would have been a very good nurse, definitely - and that took me aback a little. Then she got an odd little look and smile on her face, wouldn't quite meet my eyes, and said that once we'd mastered the basics we would go on to do things like psychometry, readings and also healing and we would all have to wait and see what would happen......... as I said to DH later, it left me with the impression that she knew something I didn't and was perhaps looking forward to it being revealed. Guess I'm just going to have to be patient and wait and see what she has in store then. LOL

With that we all said our goodbyes and left. Thankfully DH pulled up outside just as I stepped out of the door. Once home I spotted a missed call from my DSis on my mobile (it had been on silent mode during the meeting) so rang her and later in the conversation I told her about the not overly successful evening. She thinks I'm probably trying too hard and I guess there is an element of that in it but it seems like I've waited all of my life thus far to get to this point so I want it to work and to do well at it. Realisation hit too: I was still getting over the intensive Reiki treatment I had on Saturday..... it was Mum's birthday the same day and that makes me a little low....... it's the wrong end of the month, with its attendant tiredness, low mood and air headedness...... and it's the waning and almost dark moon time and I do better during waxing and full moon time. So I'm hoping that combination was why I didn't do well this time (and so hope I'm not just trying to find excuses for a poor performance) and am keeping my fingers crossed for a much better session next week........ I'll let you know. :0)

REIKI - SEPTEMBER

It's taken me a few days to get my head around what happened at my last Reiki treatment and get to a point where I feel OK and want to write about it........ so here goes.

It started out much as any other time: I got ready and tootled off down the street, this time clutching a bag with three parcels in it that I planned on taking to the Post Office afterwards. When I walked into the Clinic the first difference was that the furniture in Reception had been rearranged. It seemed a bit odd initially but it actually makes the room look bigger..... and it also means that anyone sat at the desk now doesn't have the window to their back and a draft blowing on them, plus they aren't on view when handling payments (always a good thing). Jan was the Receptionist again and asked how I was doing, as she knew it was my Mum's birthday. Actually I didn't feel too bad at that point and said so. I'd spotted on the Clinic's website that their workshops included An Introduction to Crystals and when I'd popped down to the Clinic for some more Candigest capsules earlier in the week had mentioned to Anne that I was interested, should one be running anytime soon. The message had been passed to Jan: she wasn't going to be running it this year but she reckoned that with my interest in crystals it was probably too basic for me anyway. She did mention that there was a Crystal Healing place in Goole that I hadn't heard about - I'd only been aware of a place in Sheffield that ran Melody Workshops and courses and the BSSK in Lincolnshire. Wherever they are I need to be able to travel and that's not currently possible - though I hope Jan will be able to give me a bit more information about the place in Goole next time I see her, so I can compare what's available. Another incentive to get me back driving again. :0)

By this time Aureen was ready to take me through for my treatment, so I followed her through. She asked me about the dream I'd had and I told her...... and promptly started to cry. Boy, I was doing fine until then LOL. As I explained to Aureen: the dream visit from Mum finally gave us the chance to say those things that we weren't able to at the time of her passing because Mum was unconscious much of the time and I wasn't there at the end. I told her that I'd carried an awful lot of guilt around over that ever since. Aureen said that if I was meant to have been there I would have been. As I said: on one level I know and accept that, and also acknowledge that I feel that if I had been there I would probably have held her back, even when she was ready to go, but on another level I still feel guilty for it. So Aureen said we were going to work on that and she would give me some very deep healing in this session.

All jewellery (except my crystal bracelets) plus specs removed I laid on the treatment bed and was covered with the fleecy blanket and Aureen went to wash her hands, then started the music and began.

The session really did start out just like any other, with my having to close my eyes and Aureen doing the usual movements, with the touches to feet and head and opening my chakras etc. The colours swirled behind my eyes, this time with various purple shades leading towards the red/pink spectrum and more blues than I've had before, plus small swirls of green and orange thrown in. I did notice that, although Aureen's fingers felt cold, her palms were giving off a lot of heat...... and she seemed to spend a little more time working around my head and crown chakra area. Then Aureen moved to my left and began to work on my throat and heart chakras and I was starting to really drift when I realised she'd moved over to the CD player and turned down the music - OK, that's never happened before so it penetrated the driftiness. She then came back to me, lightly touched me on my shoulder and said my name, which had me opening my eyes.

What happened next was the point where this session became so different from the others. She asked me if I had to describe where in my body the guilt was lodged where would it be? I started to think and analyse this but something stopped me and I seemed to trip into a kind of auto-pilot mode: I clenched my fist and placed it right in the area of my chest between my breasts and towards the base of my breastbone. (Thinking about it now: whenever I get really upset that's where it all seems to centre).

Next: what colour would I say it was? Black instantly popped into my mind. Now you'll know from the Development Circle post that I don't see black in a negative way, far from it, so I remember part of my brain half registering surprise when I gave Aureen that answer.

Next: if I had to describe its shape, what shape would it be? Instantly: a ball. As I said this I could actually visualise it.

Aureen then said OK, told me is was alright and relax as she went over to turn up the music again, then came back to restart the treatment. The odd thing was I just closed my eyes and accepted what had just happened as if it was a regular occurrence and, as the colours began to swirl behind my eyes again, thought it would carry on as usual.

That didn't happen! LOL Just a few minutes after Aureen restarted the treatment I felt a gentle wave of energy wash up from my feet, up my body...... until it reached the area I'd indicated as where the guilt was sat and that's where it seemed to stop, as if blocked. Next I got a sudden wash of sadness and gasped, trying to hold it back, but Aureen very gently told me not to stop it, that I had to let it out and handed me a tissue (no idea where that came from - had no awareness of her fetching one). All the while my eyes stayed closed, the tears falling and me mopping away........ and my nose getting blocked, so I had to breathe through my mouth. Normally I'd sit up to blow my nose but something kept me laid down on that treatment bed.

As the tears eased off I got the oddest sensation in the "guilt area": it felt empty, as if something had been taken out. Then soon after the same area began to feel warm...... and then it didn't feel empty anymore and the sadness had gone and I felt happier and couldn't help giving a small smile. I actually felt lighter. Then the rest of the treatment went on with the usual movements and hand placements and then the closing and grounding. The music stopped and Aureen gently touched me on the shoulder, saying my name and asking how I was. As soon as I opened my eyes I looked at her and said: you took it out, didn't you?

She seemed a little apologetic and explained that she had, though normally she would enter a session knowing she would be doing something called psychic surgery and would warn the person beforehand. She hadn't known it would happen as it wasn't planned but, as she was treating me, "someone" had come into the room (she didn't say who) and told her she had to remove it and do it immediately....... hence the pause in the session to ask me the questions, to help her carry out the procedure. She described what happened: she found the black ball and had gone to remove it but it was extremely heavy for its size, likening it to a cannon ball, and she had tried to lift it and struggled. Two angels then came into the room but as she finally managed to lift it out of me it dissolved into a thick, gooey, sticky mass and some dropped back in - as fast as Aureen scooped this goo out the angels took it away and gave it back to the Universe, to be dispersed and transformed. She felt she had got it all but only I would know that for certain. Once the area was "empty" a large clear crystal was placed in the space - she asked if I'd ever seen a clear crystal that had sunbeams reflecting off it, giving out little rainbows and sparks of light, which I have - and said that was what it was like. As it settled into the space it flashed and sparkled these little golden sparks and rainbows in every direction, sending them all through my body - this would remove any lasting remnants and keep it cleansed. Again I could actually visualise it.

Only then did I tell her what I had actually felt during the treatment and I'm still amazed by how the sensations I had felt matched with all that Aureen had done and described. It can't be put down to suggestion, as I know what I felt at the time and Aureen didn't, as I didn't tell her until after she told me what she had done. I told her I couldn't actually describe to her how I felt at that time as I was too brain-blown........ but I could say that I did feel lighter (thinking about that now I don't actually mean physically lighter, it's more to do with a lightness in my soul) and that whatever she had done it had definitely worked. Aureen then said that I would probably feel a bit off for a day or so and would definitely need to rest that day (compared it to having a tooth pulled) and would also be a bit emotional...... but should start to pick up by about Tuesday, when I'd begin to feel much brighter and happier. Meantime, I was to sit in the garden, or even go and lay down should I feel the need. Her parting shot was that if she hadn't got it all we would do it again next time and make sure....... flippin' heck, I'm not sure I could go through that again in a hurry! LOL

After thanking her I used the facilities (my bladder sometimes seems like it's the size of a gnat's!) then went to reception to pay my dues and make my next appointment. Jan said I'd missed all the excitement: the Tour of Britain cyclists had gone whizzing past, along the High Street, while I'd been in with Aureen - apparently the local motorcycle bobbies seemed to be having great fun whizzing along with them. I kind of vaguely remembered hearing a bit of a kerfuffle and some sirens at one point but it had only just registered. Aureen's next client was there and two relatives of hers had been out on their bikes following on. I'm afraid my comment was there was far too much testosterone around at that kind of thing for me. ;0)

As I paid my dues, getting another herbal tea while I was at it, and made my next Reiki appointment Aureen came through to collect her client and we said goodbye until Tuesday. Jan, who had realised I was fumbling around like some decrepit old biddy, then gave me a beady look and asked how I was - I couldn't say but I gave her the gist of what had happened. Jan's comment: she's extremely good, isn't she? Definitely....... though I think I'll appreciate just how good further down the line, when I can look back on everything and consider it when it isn't so "immediate", iykwim. I did know that I wouldn't make it over to Rosehill that day, not the way I was, so would be getting some flowers to put on the mantelpiece next to Mum and Dad's picture. I then said goodbye, with Jan laying her hand lightly on my shoulder as I left - must have looked about as rough as I felt, then.

When I got out onto the street the noise hit me and I knew I couldn't get to the Post Office on my own, so rang DH. I went to wait for him in the Hospice Bookshop - much quieter and somewhere I felt safe enough to try and gather my scattered wits. Thankfully DH wasn't too long in getting there - long enough for me to spot a book about Fred Dibnah which DH liked, so I treated him. The parcels sorted we headed to the Butcher's for some sandwich meats, then over the road and back up the street to the Cleaner's (dropping off DS's suit), then to the greengrocer's where I spotted the loveliest chrysanthemum's, in a lovely autumnal shade - not quite a brown, not quite a yellow........ and all the while thinking that I really should have listened to Aureen and gone straight home, as my legs kept going wobbly and I got more and more tired.

I picked up a bit once I'd sat and had a drink, then something to eat, but a little later in the afternoon it was time to admit defeat and go to bed for an hour. That did help some and I enjoyed our take-out curry. DH and DS went out that night, to do a spot of crewing and help with a Get-Out at the theatre, then going on to the Final Night BBQ afterwards...... I pottered doing bits of this and that but couldn't settle to much of anything and went to bed around 11pm. I didn't get to sleep until gone midnight though - the Pete's were having a BBQ with friends and it got a bit noisy as the bottles of vino emptied. Can't complain though, as we had been invited - the timing was naff, is all.

Sunday we stayed home, partly so DH could watch the Grand Prix but mostly because I was still feeling bone weary. There had been a development though, as I could finally describe how I felt: shell-shocked. LOL

Oddly enough, not long into my starting this post, Aureen rang me to check on how I was feeling. She didn't think it fair to ask me tonight, at the Circle, in front of the others and she felt there probably wouldn't be the opportunity to get me on my own to do so. Her prediction wasn't far off: needed to lay down Saturday, needed to take it easy Sunday, more energy Monday (whizzed round all my jobs and did a couple of extras all in a morning!), certainly emotional, and definitely starting to feel brighter today. She mentioned the word lighter and that is exactly the word to use. That was so kind and considerate. :0)

So it's a change in routine today, to try and stop some of the last minute rush and stress we had last week: DH is having a cooked dinner at work and I've made myself something at home (I'll aim for the Malt Shovel trip another time) so we can have a lighter, quicker meal tonight and hopefully get out to Hibaldstow for the Circle meeting on time. So now I'm off to get a few other things organised. :0)

THE HIGHER PRINCIPLES

The Higher Principles are:

LOVE;
JUSTICE;
PEACE;
BEAUTY;
PURITY;
HARMONY;
POWER;
SERVICE;
HEALING;
WHOLENESS;
PERFECTION.


From the higher principle of Love comes love of others, love of Earth and growing things, love of animals, love of self, commitment, dedication, creativity, caring, healing and conservation.

From the higher principle of Justice comes fairness, law, order, leadership, social conscience, politics, human rights and authority.

From the higher principle of Peace comes freedom, humanitarianism, safety, prayer, meditation, guardianship and peace-making.

From the higher principle of Beauty comes preservation, artistry, skill, grace, transformation, colour, vision, architecture and awareness.

From the higher principle of Harmony comes music, dance, art, peace-making, friendship, rhythm, design, tolerance and understanding.

From the higher principle of Power comes leadership, self-empowerment, responsibility, direction, inspiration, belief, courage, law and order and rulership.

From the higher principle of Service comes serving others, dedication, counselling, self-sacrifice, social conscience, love of others, improvement and healing.

From the higher principle of Wholeness comes self-growth, equality, balance, acceptance, exploration, tolerance, vision, creativity, symbolism and knowledge.

From the higher principle of Perfection comes God consciousness, belief, focus, preservation, goal-setting, confidence, leadership, goodness and seeking the highest.


Pondering on the key words that speak to you, inspire or move you, helps in finding a clear sense of why you are here, what some of your Karmic tasks may be and more fully understanding and harmonising with the purpose of your higher self.





Note: I will have to ask Aureen about Purity and Healing, as they appear to be missing from the lower listing. :0)

DEVELOPMENT CIRCLE - TAKE 2

Yes, the second attempt at getting the Development Circle up and running has finally come to fruition and am I one very happy bunny! LOL Take 2 saw five other women, as well as Aureen and myself, turn up for the first session - a far better result already. :0)

We were running a little late when DH dropped me off at the house so I'd got a bit panicky, especially when I realised that I still hadn't put Aureen's mobile number into mine so I couldn't contact her to let her know. On going in Aureen did the introductions: there were two S's, the one Jan introduced me to the previous night (S1) and the one I remembered from the Angel Workshop (S2) and Sh, a lady I hadn't met before. We chatted amongst ourselves for a little while until the final member turned up, A. A made me do a bit of a double-take..... at certain angles and when she made certain facial expressions she had a look of my SIL, Helen (she passed away in 2007 from cancer at the age of 40), about her. I made a note to warn DH, just in case he happened to catch a glimpse of her during the times he's dropping me off or picking me up.

We all went through into the back room sitting area and took a chair in the circle - I had Aureen on my right and Sh on my left. Aureen then proceeded to do an introductory talk on what the Circle would involve, the types of development we would cover, ensuring we always wore comfortable clothes, didn't eat a heavy meal beforehand (Ooops!), ensured we avoided coming to Circle when feeling ill, read a wonderful piece called The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer - the parts that would speak to us now, the parts that would speak to us when we have developed/grown - what should happen as we work together as a group, the Higher Principles (come back to this in a separate post) and the Chakra colours/positioning. She then went on to explain what we would be doing that night: opening the Circle, and what to do if we felt we needed to leave it at any point; Protection, and knowing that we were in control at all times; Grounding; opening the Chakras; hand energy sensing exercise; closing the Chakras; grounding the energy; Cloak of Protection and closing the Circle. She also touched on any development we each may have done previously and were able to ask questions on anything we weren't too sure about. Once we were happy she then proceeded.

Opening the Circle: we all clasped hands, closed our eyes and Aureen gave the affirmation to the Universal Spirit (we could make this to our own preferred deity if we wished) and called upon the Archangels for their Protection throughout. I can't remember it word for word...... I will gradually pick that up as it's repeated each week. We then released each others hands and opened our eyes.

Protection: Aureen gave examples of several ways you can surround yourself with protection, such as stepping into a bubble of white light, imagining a swirl of white light covering you from head to toe, traffic lights of white light shining on you from all directions or imagining a balloon of white light with a zipper on which you step into then zip up behind you. S2 imagines her Guardian Angel's wings folding around her from head to toe, which I thought was really nice. :0) We then proceeded to use our preferred form. I'd always tried the bubble of white light around me but actually visualising it had always proved a bit difficult and I resorted to talking my way through it..... so I tried the stepping into the balloon and zipping up instead - result! So wish I'd thought to try that much sooner! LOL Whilst doing this we had to sit with our hands on our knees and palms facing upwards and when we had finished we had to turn our hands palm downwards - it helped Aureen know when she could carry on to the next step.

Grounding: next it was visualising branches sprouting from the souls of our feet and deep into Mother Earth, spreading out and then firmly anchoring in the soil. Now this I can do have always found it easier to do than the bubble of white light - probably why Aureen always mentions I'm firmly grounded whenever I have a Reiki treatment. The only difference with this is that whilst most imagined the ends of the branches as anchors I can't, so have always seen them all as little hooks held firm by the Earth. All hands turned down. A mentioned she seemed to have a banging headache so Aureen said she may not be grounded properly and got her to do it again - she started to feel better then. On to the next step.

Opening the Chakras: Aureen detailed some of the ways this could be done, the ones I remember are: lights on dimmer switches, gradually turning up the brightness and the flower bud gradually opening to a full bloom - all in the appropriate Chakra colours in turn. S2 imagined opening coloured curtains. I've always struggled with this when using the bud/flower: I can generally imagine the colour and I can usually imagine the flower but bringing the two together gives me trouble...... so I abandoned that a while ago and opted for opening doors instead, with a slightly better result (less talking through and more actual visualisation going on). All through Aureen was happy for us to use the imagery that worked the best for us and talking about what we used was interesting: I know I gleaned a few good tips and an alternative visualisation method I feel much happier with. :0)

Hand energy sensing exercise: this I did for the first time during the Development Circle Take 1 (and only) session and have practised it occasionally since then, so felt really comfortable doing it. We had to imagine a ball of energy growing in our solar plexus Chakra, then breathing and pulling it up through our body to the heart Chakra, then breathing it up to our shoulders, down through our arms and on down into our hands. We had our eyes closed (as we did through each stage) and held our hands in front of us and apart, and then had to slowly bring our hands together. I do enjoy this as it feels amazing when it works well. :0) When we'd done and all hands were turned over Aureen asked each of us in turn how we felt it had gone. All had had success with it. Several of us had felt the energy flow up our bodies (several mentioned it had made them sit up straighter) - I felt it as a combination of a mild tingling sensation and a warmth that gently flowed through my body (a bit like a wave) as I breathed it up and then down into my hands. A couple likened the energy in their hands to a slightly squishy ball and Sh said it felt like magnets pulling together. Aureen said that a couple of times it looked like I'd struggled to get my hands together: well, a couple of times it felt as if nothing was there, then the next that I'd got two opposite magnets pushing each other apart. I have a feeling that this had something to do with my concentration: when I focused it was strong, if I got a bit distracted it wasn't...... possibly down to the too heavy a meal I'd had and the slightly gurgly stomach that was making me feel a bit self-conscious. I'll definitely be taking steps to change that for next time.

Grounding the energy and closing our Chakras: we then had to visualise the energy flowing back out of us, down through the grounding branches and into Mother Earth, then gradually closing each Chakra in turn, from the Crown down to the Root, doing the reverse visualisation to opening them. When we felt we'd done this we then "unanchored" and drew our roots back to us. Though the first two steps may have been done the other way around - I've had a few sleeps since then so the recall isn't 100%.

Cloak of Protection and closing the Circle: we then had to visualise drawing on a big blue cloak with a hood that eneveloped us from head to foot. For some reason I struggled to visualise a blue cloak - it kept wanting to be black. Now black to a Pagan doesn't have the negative connotations it can have for some folks: black is seen as protective, the velvety darkness of a deep cave - womb of Mother Earth - where life.... or insights... or inspiration springs from (just a few of many positive aspects). I will have to talk this through with Aureen and see what her take on it is. We all joined hands and then Aureen said the closing prayer.

This done Aureen then asked how we all felt it had gone - well - and if any of us had felt or seen anything that we hadn't mentioned previously. Sh and one of the others said they had both had the feeling of cobwebs on their faces, which is usually a sign that there was Spirit present (no, there weren't any crawlies). S2 said she thought she might have seen a figure stood behind Aureen at one point but hadn't been sure if she really had or if it was her imagination. (I didn't say anything but did think: Aaah, that could explain the flippin' cold spot near me!). Now the Angel Workshop brought it out to me that we suffered from self-doubt when it came to Spirit or paranormal events - when you're constantly told that it's your imagination you start to believe it....... and it takes a lot to get beyond that and start trusting in yourself again, so that's something she and I (I don't know about the others yet) are going to have to work on. Though Aureen said that when we start to see Spirit there will be no doubting it - it's different to imagination and we'll learn to recognise it. It's good to know she has every confidence in our abilities.... even if some of us don't. :0)

She then asked if we would be happy to return again next week. S1 had already mentioned she wouldn't be able to, as she had something else on, but the rest of us would. Actually my answer was: Definitely! The emphasis must have been there too because it made them all smile and Aureen comment that she had a feeling that I would say that. LOL It's just so good to finally be at this point. :0)

We were then given some print outs to read up on at home: Higher Principles; a print out of The Invitation; a crib sheet for the Chakras; a run through of the hand energy sensing exercise and a sheet with a list of colours and their aura meanings. We can practise the exercise if we want and are to ponder on the written pieces and see what draws us - I think I'll start a Journal on these, jotting down which I'm drawn to and any thoughts that spring to mind....... it'll be interesting to look back on at a later stage, if nothing else. I think we are going to do some Chakra meditation next week.... but don't quote me as I was feeling a little tired by this point and the concentration slipped as we started gathering our belongings together. I do know that three other ladies should be joining us next week, increasing our numbers......... and that should help overall numbers some folks have to drop out at any point for any reason. I must say that working in a bigger group (rather than just the three of us at Take 1) certainly makes a difference to the energy flow and general feel of the room.

We were over running by this time and Aureen was concerned my DH would have been waiting for a while (Uh, she doesn't know him yet, does she? It's a standing family joke you always tell him to meet you at least 15 minutes before you actually want him there LOL) so she went through to unlock the front door to let us out. I said I'd see her on Saturday, for my Reiki treatment, and for her to remind me to tell her about my dream before we start, then we said our goodbyes. Surprisingly DH was there, sat in the car with the overhead light on so he could read the evening paper. After dropping me off he'd driven along the round and found himself a vantage spot with a good scenic view and sat listening to some music, reading a magazine and generally chillin' until he fancies a half pint, when he drove to the same pub he went to last time. He may well end up being classed as a regular if he goes in every Tuesday night. LOL

By the time we got home I definitely felt tired and opted for an early night. The following day I felt really good..... so much so that I took it into my head to have a trip down the High Street. No, I didn't have a Clinic appointment to go to, though I did have a package that needed posting - though the main reason for going out was....... because I felt like it. :0) I'd chatted to DH the night before about needing to stretch my comfort zone again, so going down the Street on non-appointment days will do that. Then there's the thing about not having a big meal before going to the Circle: DH is OK, he is quite happy to get a dinner at work, and have a light meal before taking me out, so that just leaves me. I'm now getting my head around really stretching that comfort zone: having a walk down to the Malt Shovel and having a meal in there on Tuesday dinnertime, sometimes maybe meeting DH..... but mostly on my tod. Keep your fingers crossed for me and I'll let you know how I get on! :0)