Thursday, 11 March 2010


I had quite a nice chill out day, fitting in a meditation session mid-afternoon, and felt a whole lot more positive this week. The think has done some good and various things have reminded me of L's philosophy: that it isn't always about the end result, sometimes it's more about the journey. Time to stop getting hung up about what's not happening, relax and just enjoy the process. :0)

DH almost wrecked the calmness by not leaving work until the last minute, despite needing to eat before taking me to Circle. He will not be rushed and the more you try to chivvy him the slower he gets... deliberately, to my mind. It's made me even more determined to get a car: that way I won't get fraught because he's late or won't be hurried.... I'll be able to take myself off at a time, and pace, that suits me.

Luckily I calmed down again during the journey... and everyone else seemed to be running a little later than usual, as I ended up being the first to arrive! LOL Aureen and I chatted a little as we waited for the others to arrive: she kept a look out at the window for G and popped out when she saw she'd arrived. G knew the general area to come to but wasn't sure which house, as it was her first time, so Aureen wanted to make sure she found us OK. Everyone arrived very soon after this. Not only did we have a new member but A had sorted out her babysitting problems and was able to make it.... and it was lovely to see her again.

When Sh arrived she sat next to me and I said: remember Mary? She did, so I told her she'd had a direct hit and who she was. She was thrilled and, as Aureen pointed out, it goes to show that, as I didn't know who Mary was, it wasn't a case of picking up on something I'd said or even mind-reading - she'd been given it from Spirit. It was a lovely positive note to start the night on. :0)

We went through to the other room. I was sat between G and A this week, thankfully not with my back to the empty kitchen area, although not far off. For some reason I much prefer to have a wall or the closed patio doors behind me.... not that those things make much difference to Spirit! ROFL Aureen clarified with G how far she had got to during the previous Circle she'd attended and make sure she knew all about protecting herself, the Chakras, grounding etc. It seems she's not far off where we've got up to, especially as she is learning Spiritual Healing. We then passed round the Healing Book so names could be written in there and a prayer said.

This week we were to do two different meditations. The first one would be fairly long, the other shorter and they probably wouldn't leave much time for clairvoyance afterwards but she'd see. She told us more about the meditations and then the Circle was opened and protection put in place.

For the first meditation: we had to open our Chakras, then focus on our breathing for a while, breathing in through our nose, then out through our mouths, then focus on our base Chakra; ground ourselves from our soles and our base Chakra; pull energy up to our base Chakra and imagine its energy reaching every part of our bodies; imagine a column of white light entering our bodies through our crown Chakra and merging with the red pulled up and through our base Chakra; then focus on our heart Chakra next and imagine breathing in love through it and allowing it to reach every part of our body; we then had to sit down and visualise that we were sat opposite ourselves, looking at ourself and noticing facial details etc; we were to send the love from our heart chakra to our other self, then tell her the thing we liked most about her; we then had to see if there was a message from our other self for us; next we had to imagine both our selves standing up and hugging each other, allowing the two to become one. There was then a long list of things we were to recognise, such as accepting love without fear and allowing ourselves to feel whole and happy (very positive things but too many for me to remember). We then had to become aware of ourselves in the room and come back.

Aureen asked us all how we felt and we all agreed it had been a very moving experience. It was also a very personal experience for each of us, so only the basic bits we were able to talk about were discussed. I can't say I had been able to see my other self solidly in front of me but I did feel that I had made a connection and it had brought home a few things to me.... and actually highlighted a few other relevant things that had been on my mind recently and need working on. Aureen asked us how we had felt about hugging ourselves and giving/receiving the love and I (and a couple of the others) admitted that it had felt awkward.... and that had brought its own realisations. She realised that this had affected me quite a bit (she said she could feel the emotion coming off me) and I said that I felt this was a meditation I would need to do again at home so that I could really let myself go, should I feel the need.

One of the main reasons for doing this meditation is to make us realise, especially those who wish to do Healing, that we need to be able to love ourselves, warts and all, before we can open to the loving healing energy and love others enough to aid them. In other words, we need to be whole and healed in heart, as well as in body, before we can hope to help others. It makes me think of the old adage: physician, heal thyself. I took the point: much of what I've been doing this last year and a bit has been mostly to heal my body, with some to heal my heart (grief-wise) but I know I still have some other issues that need to be worked on further. Oddly enough, words that came to me during this meditation were: warts and all. :0)

The second meditation was the first one from the three we are to do to meet our Spirit Guides. Yay! This first one from the three is to go to our Safe Place: a meadow where we know we can return whenever we need to feel safe. Aureen wants us to go here and be able to clearly visualise it because she needs to know that we can do this and be 100% confident that we are safe before taking us on the next two steps: first meeting our Power Animals, then on to meet our Guides. I asked if the Safe Place was different to a Sacred Place and if that was different to our Garden. Aureen said the Safe Place and the Garden are different and that she would class the Garden as our Sacred Place (more on this later).

For this meditation Aureen turned out the light and we had to: begin by concentrating on our breathing, breathing in through our mouths, holding it for the count of four, then breathing out through our mouths - I find concentrating a problem, as it usually sends it out of whack and I spend so much time concentrating on trying to get it right that it becomes a distraction... so after a while I left my breathing to sort itself out and just listened to Aureen's voice guiding us; we then had to walk along our country lane, passing by the gate to our garden and going to another gate, noticing what it looked like; we then had to look over/through the gate and see the meadow beyond, then open the gate and go in, closing the gate behind us; once inside we had to notice the extent of the meadow and what it was edged by (fence, wall, hedge, trees - whatever) and know that nothing could get in there, we were totally alone; we then had to notice what we were or weren't wearing, then look out across the meadow and see what was there and what the whole looked like; next we had to walk to the centre of the meadow and lay down and enjoy the sights, smells and sounds; when we had been there for a while we then had to walk back to the gate, exit and walk back down the lane and come back to ourselves.
Aureen then got us to open for clairvoyance, concentrating on just one person and seeing if we could get a clear message for them. She then put the light back on and went round each of us in turn to see how the meditation had gone and who our message was for.

Here's what I can remember:
Sh: wrought iron gate (I saw this before I saw my own gate!), dry stone wall on three sides and a thicket of trees at the bottom, she wasn't aware of anything beyond it. Hers was a poppy filled meadow and lush green grass.

S2: meadow from her childhood, with cows - one she'd disappeared into when she was three years old (sparking a full-on police search!) and loved - with clouds of gypsophila type white flowers and bluebells. She felt that, although she couldn't see him, her Guide was hovering in the background waiting to meet her but she told him not yet, we're not supposed to yet. Aureen said that was good, as S2 needed to learn to focus, rather than going wandering off on different paths (this has happened during sessions), and it looked like she was doing alright with it. Her message was for Aureen: she mentioned two names (both owned) and described the person both names belonged to. She had also seen the same man she's seen before, and described, who Aureen still can't place. She wondered, as this man gives the impression that he's looking after Aureen and keeping her safe, if he's another Guide she hasn't met yet, or some other Guardian. She received a message from one of the other girls (not sure who) and some of it involved hearing the song "What's it all about, Alfie?" - she took that, as she says whenever psychic things happen she always asks what that's all about?

G: she had seen everything clearly and also enjoyed it - unfortunately I can't remember more. Her message was for Aureen.

When it was my turn I said: I love this meditation - I can DO this one! which made everyone laugh. Up to now visualising my silver birch tree has been the clearest, most vivid mental image I've ever received.... this was even clearer! I saw a large wooden five-bar gate, complete with one of those long metal "arm" type fastenings with a ball on top and I felt like I'd opened the gate, walked in and closed it behind me. My meadow was surrounded by a thick green hawthorn hedge (hawthorn for protection) and there were little critters rustling around in there - it wasn't regimented (as in four sides like a garden) but irregularly shaped. The meadow itself was draped across a slight hillock, and had buttercups, poppies, something like cornflowers (small and blue) and some white flowers (daisies, possibly) and knee length grass, with a few bees around. It was a warm summers day and I was butt naked. That made the girls comment LOL. As I pointed out, I don't usually do naked and can be quite prudish on occasion (eg: despite knowing I was having the op to have my ovaries out I still asked if I could wear some pants! LOL) - I feel the nakedness was to reinforce the knowledge that I felt totally safe and protected in there. Remember when you were a child and you were so full of the joy of living that you would run up a hill, then spin round in circles with your arms raised and drop to the ground? Well that's how I felt and it's what I felt I did - it was amazing! I reluctantly walked back to the gate and felt like I'd put on a blue flowing dress (very similar to one I love to wear in summer) before I left. I said I'd definitely be doing this one again. :0) The clairvoyance hadn't gone well again as I'd initially darted about and struggled to settle on one person - then I got the name Deidra again and felt I'd seen a mirror (oe picture) with a metal or metal-look trim around that had flowers on it - more focus on the frame, though I couldn't say who it was for or what it was about. Aureen said not to worry, as I'd done really well with the meditations. As I said: I'm not going to let this stress me anymore as it adds to the block, I shall concentrate on enjoying the journey. :0)

A: she had struggled with this. She saw the gate (can't remember) but her meadow had been black - can't remember if it was surrounded by barbed wire, or if that was A's or S1's. She flooded it with white light before going in, realising it wasn't normal, and to ensure it was safe, but it stayed the same so she went in anyway, feeling that it was alright. She felt OK and knew she was safe and felt happy enough there, and could see all the details that were there, except for it all being black. As she was going back to her gate she felt a hand on her shoulder, which was non-threatening, and felt it was her Guide, and a voice said: Too Soon. Normally she'd question why etc but she accepted this. Aureen felt that her having missed four weeks was partly the problem, so she asked her to practice this meditation at home through this week, as she needed to be ready to do this for the next stages. Although she did say that we weren't to worry about any of it: we all knew how to go to our Safe Place and knew that we were safe there...... some of us would meet our Guides but it may well be that some may not, despite everything. It couldn't be predicted.

S1: I think hers was a five-bar gate too. Her meadow was full of golden corn, bluebells and poppies and also had cows in there. Aureen made a joke about her borrowing the cows from S2's field - they were sat opposite one another, so there could have been some transference. The difference was that S1 could hear sheep and lambs bleating on the other side of her fence. Her message was for S2.

The time had gone really quickly this week so we had to quickly close down, protect ourselves and close the Circle. Aureen is always conscious that my DH will be waiting outside...... hopefully that won't be a problem for too much longer though. LOL

I said goodbye to the girls and as we were heading for the front door Aureen mentioned something about the Sacred Place/Garden (I guess she realised there was more to my question) so I explained. A couple of weeks ago I was doing a meditation and set off doing one thing (walking through the woods to go to the cleansing waterfall) when I suddenly arrived somewhere else: there were trees all around (not the giant Redwoods I see on the way to the waterfall but a typical British woodland) and in the middle of the trees was a clearing; the clearing was circular and around the edges of it, in front of the surrounding trees, were standing stones - not huge ones, ones about waist height and not quite as wide as a person - and in the middle of the clearing was a fire which was also surrounded by small rocks. I saw this more as still photo images, though there had been movement in the fire. It was all very Pagan and I also felt safe there... I don't remember much else as I got disturbed before it got any further - but I was left with the feeling that something more should/would have happened. Aureen said that this obviously was my Sacred Place, separate to my Garden. There wasn't time for more, as the other girls were lining up behind me ready to leave, so we said goodbye and I left.

DH was waiting patiently, reading his newspaper. He could tell straightaway that I was feeling much brighter and more positive this time around and asked how it went, so I told him a little about the meditations. There was a slight detour via Tesco Express for some shopping on the way home which is always good for bringing me back down to Earth with a bump LOL.

I have since done the meditations at home. The safe place wasn't quite as vivid but I could still see it. :0)
When I tried to redo the "Meet Yourself" one I struggled to remember some of it..... but I had the name Deidra come to me again...... and I went quite deeply at one point and saw a young (pre-pubescent) girl walking towards me: I couldn't see her face very clearly but she had shoulder length fair hair (much fairer than mine has ever been) and she had on what seemed to be a jumper with large blocks or stripes of colour on it. As soon as I became more aware of what was happening the image of her had gone.... before I could try again DH rang and the moment was well and truly shattered. I was chatting to my DSis later in the day and mentioned all of this to her and idly wondered if maybe it was my Angel's name, so she suggested doing an internet search to find out the meaning of the name, as no one was claiming her. Doh! Why didn't I think of that?
One Google later and Deidra is a derivation of Deidre, thought to be of Celtic origin...... and thought to mean "young girl". So one week I see a young girl during a Reiki session, shortly after one was seen by S2 cuddling up to S1's painful leg, I've since had the name Deidra some to me twice during Circle and now at home and I've seen a young girl again during this most recent meditation. Cue the Twilight Zone music. LOL I have no idea what it's about.... yet. Watch this space, as hopefully more will be revealed to me before too much longer.

1 comment:

Julie said...

As they say .. all will no doubt be revealed in the end. (as i was reading i thought i wonder what will happen if a google that name and then i read you had done it further down!)

It sounds as it G has fitted in real nice with your group. Maybe you were feeling more relaxed this week as you knew there was someone else there you knew outside the Tuesday cirlce group?