An Online Psychic Test

ACUPUNCTURE - 6TH MAY

I was relieved when Thursday came around this week as my left knee had played up badly on Wednesday, even making me wonder  if it was developing bursitis, just like my right one. It didn't help that, as I was limping badly it also affected the calf muscle, the back of my thigh and even into the small of my back. OK, I didn't do the Shamballah healing Course for nothing, so did some Self-healing on Wednesday night - it did improve by Thursday morning, though far from 100%.

I hobbled down the street to the Clinic and very steadily climbed the stairs and was glad to sit down when I reached the top. Thankfully it wasn't long before Janet called me into the treatment room. I told her what the problem was and also briefly discussed Tuesday night's Circle and those fleeting images during the clairvoyance session. It's so good to know that, unlike with most GP's, Janet fully understands and is happy to treat Spiritual problems, as well as physical ones - the beauty of alternative therapies! :0)

This week I had to take off my jeans, as well as socks and shoes and specs and lay on the treatment bed on my front. When I was ready Janet came back in and proceeded to check the extent of the problem by pressing various areas from the small of my back and down my left leg and her conclusion was that if I'd left it much longer I'd probably go on to develop sciatica. Nope, definitely do NOT want that, so please treat whatever needs treating says I. This led to her applying needles to: the small of back (two or three, can't remember); several down the left buttock; quite a few more dotted along the channels down the thigh and calf; the usual hormone ones in my ankles; the ones in the tops of each foot; also several in my wrists and back of hands and the single one in my third eye Chakra. Did I feel like a rather full pincushion this time around! LOL It was interesting to note that quite a few of the needles barely registered as they went in.... several gave me a pinprick sensation and a couple more gave me a right belt, whilst the third eye one gave me the slightly whoozy "must close my eyes" sensation. I now realise that the ones that give me a right belt are the ones that are needed the most, as the Qi is strongly reacting to the needle - a moment's discomfort for a great deal of benefit, so it's well worth putting up with. But I never know which ones will have the strongest reaction, so it's a bit like playing Russian Roulette... with needles instead of bullets. LOL

I can't remember if I laid on my front or side for this session. I do know that laying on my front isn't comfortable for the full legth of a treatment though and isn't something I'd want to repeat in a hurry... not without some extra padding round the face hole in the bed..... and some for my poor boobs! Laying on my side is better, providing the upper leg is supported by the bolster cushion, otherwise that gets really uncomfortable after a while. Yes, I'm spoilt - I'm used to a comfort foam and sprung mattress that moulds to my body when I lay on my bed.... and there's a lot less extra padding on my bones these days too. Not that I'm complaining about that! LOL The most relaxing treatments are definitely those when I can lay on my back.
When the treatemnt time was up and Janet came in to take out the needles we talked a little about the Shamballah course and I mentioned the feeling of sadness I felt wash over me when I thanked Wayne and hugged him on that final day, just as I was leaving - sometimes being clairsentient has its drawbacks and picking up on other people's emotions can be disturbing when you're unprepared (yes, I should have ensured protection was in place but I was in lovely surroundings and with people I liked, so didn't think it was necessary). On the final day we'd all pulled a card from his Ascended Masters oracle card pack and Janet's had been the  "Go Now" card - that had unsettled her (mine had been White Buffalo Calf Woman - again the NA influence creeps in). I guess it's something she needs to look at more deeply and understand why. Once the needles were all out she left me to get dressed again, with the usual admonition to take some sips of water before venturing out of the room.

As I sat up I realised the ache in my back had gone and as I made my way over to my jeans also realised that the knee was hardly bothering me at all and the calf and thigh just had that slightly bruised feeling you get when you've been walking awkwardly to compensate for a gimp knee. Another fab result. As I told G when I went out to reception: I certainly wouldn't be up to doing the hop, skip and jump any time soon but the difference was great - I hobbled in but I'd be walking out. :0)

After thanking Janet again, making my next appointment and paying my dues I headed down the stairs and along the street to my favourite shop once again. There were some more books in there again just begging to come home with me:

I'm looking forward to reading the Jane Boleyn book. She's one of those characters from history that I have mixed feelings about, so it'll be interesting to get another perspective on her and the happenings she was involved with during Henry VIII's fateful marriages to Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard.
Not sure what else I did after this - no notes!

DEVELOPMENT CIRCLE - 4TH MAY

This week saw me driving to Circle solo for the first time..... and it wasn't as scarey as I thought it would be. :0)

We were a full house this week, all present and correct - and everyone said how glad they were that I'd taken the plunge and driven myself. I was buzzing.... since completing the Healing Course things have started to change even more: I feel I've found that direction and purpose that has been missing for much of my life; I know I am on the right Path and I feel like things are starting to open up... and it's a great feeling. :0)

I'd also remembered to pick up the Melody book on the way out of the door so, when we were all sat I brought it out and asked Aureen whether or not she already had this book and handed it to her. It made me smile to see her avidly riffling through the pages... I think she'd have happily browsed it all night, if we hadn't had the Circle to do. LOL I explained what had happened for me to end up with two copies and, as she hadn't got this one already, told her it was hers - it was lovely to see the smile on her face. :0)

After Aureen had (reluctantly) put the book away she told us that this week we would be doing a special meditation, to go into our heart chakras and go on to meet a Higher Being, where we could ask a question of this Being. This asking questions is OK but it's a beggar to think of something at times! LOL

Once we'd opened the Circle, protected ourselves and opened our Chakras we went straight in to the meditation. After relaxing and settling to the breathing we then had to breathe up Earth energy through our base and into our heart Chakra, followed by breathing down cosmic energy through our Crown and into out heart Chakra. After allowing the energy to mingle we were to expand our heart Chakra (sometimes done as visualising a green flower bud with golden edges opening to a large flower), seeing ourselves and going into the green with gold tinged heart centre. From here we were to walk down our country lane to the gate of our garden and go in, where we met and walked with our Power Animal, allowing all of our senses to open. We were then to notice a shaded area of the garden off to the right, where there were nine steps.... walk up the nine steps and see a crystal building and walk through the door. Inside was a long corridor which we were to walk along, noticing red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet doors: we were to choose one, knock and enter. Inside was a desk, with a chair to one side at the front and behind it was sat an Enlightened Being, surrounded by gold light. We were to approach and sit in the chair, then ask the Being our question and wait for an answer. Afterwards we were to thank them, get up and go to the door - once there we were to look back and see they were gone. We then exited, closing the door behind us, retrace our steps out of the building and back into our garden, where our Power Animal was waiting. We went into our garden and sat communing with our PA for a while. We then has to say goodbye, go back through our garden to the gate and back along the garden gate, back to ourselves.

It's too far back for me to remember what the others saw but my experience was: I raised my arms and just seemed to float into my heart Chakra - no flapping of arms or jumping, just a very gentle float. I saw the country lane and picket gate as still images. When I entered my garden this time I got the impression of more flowers and trees, including trees with blossom on them and, as always, my silver birch tree.

Wisdom the elephant, my PA, was there but I got a little confused as to gender, thinking Wisdom was a she but saying he, so I need to commune more often and sort this out. I saw the steps in the shaded area and the crystal building at the top was a little like the Taj Mahal frontage, but with turrets instead of minarets, then saw the corridor as a still image. When I saw the doors I thought I was going to go through the blue one.... but the image suddenly changed to a green door and I "walked" through that. Inside I had the image of a bank managers type desk in red wood flash through my minds eye and a matching chair with a green "velvet" seat. Behind the desk was golden light with a sparkly area in the centre and from this I got a quick image of a stern-looking middle-aged Native American wearing a cougar/puma headdress.

My question was: What is the next step on my Path? Fully expecting something along the lines of being pointed in the direction of what course to take next or perhaps a relevant book to read, or something similar I was totally unprepared for what I did hear: you must learn to love yourself. It wasn't an order, just a simple statement, and I felt the implication was that to do this would open up everything. I was left feeling very emotional, though managed to thank him and just sat quietly with my PA afterwards, before finishing the rest of the meditation.

When I related this to everyone I got a little tearful... and Aureen beamed at me and said she saw this as a major breakthrough: I actually saw much more through this meditation; the Native American influence seems to be very strong, with this Shamanistic figure; after all the hard work, through Reiki healing and the Circle, the crux of the matter has been reached with this one statement that has been long needed. I said that, now that the Shamballah Course was over, it felt like the right time to have a make-over and that I would like to book S2 to cut my hair and do my eyebrows for me. S2 was pleased and said she would be happy to. Aureen's smile got even wider and she said this was, after going back to driving, the biggest step forward, as it said, more than anything else, "moving on". The girls said they couldn't wait to see what my new look was going to be. :0)

After everyone had revealed what had happened in their meditations (sorry, not even a vague memory is left - it's over a month since this session) Aureen pointed out a rather odd happening: Sh and S2 were sat together one side of the Circle and both had gone through the violet door; G and s1, sat next to each other on the other side of the Circle, both went through the blue door; Aureen and I, sat opposite, had both gone through the green door. How odd was that!

After this we opened for Clairvoyance. Again I've only got the notes in my special book to go on and I always only write down those things which are relevant to me, so they can be referred back to occasionally when I want to redo the meditations or need to check details (such as names) - plus it's only a small book and writing down everything that happens each week would soon fill it! LOL

S2 came straight to me. She'd seen a rather stroppy lady in a tweed type skirt and jacket who had said "At last!" while busily brushing down the front of her skirt. Her message was: tell her she is loved, has always been and always will be. I felt a bit emotional again, though still wondering who this tweedy lady is as it's not the first time she's come through for me. S2 then said that, as a child, whenever she saw a lady she wanted to tell them that they looked beautiful, as that's how she saw them (am thinking she was able to see the inner light/beauty of each soul) and then said that's how she saw me: I was the most beautiful person she'd ever met and that I radiated it, along with love and caring. This deeply moved me and it was all I could do to thank her without blubbing all over the place.

Aureen saw me wearing a pink dress and a magic wand was being waved above me, sending lots of golden sparkles raining down over me - very much a Fairy Godmother and trasformation. I couldn't help but giggle at this, hold my hands towards S2 and say: Meet my Fairy Godmother..... then asked her if she also did the white mice to horses bit as well, which got everyone laughing.

I got lots of fleeting images for G but they had been too quick for me to make out what they were. I also got a really strong smell of baking but had been so busy trying to work out what the images had been that I didn't follow up on this. Sh asked what type of baking smell and I said it was like cakes and all that kind of warm smell of baking goodies - she thought it may have been relevant to her. Aureen said it may have been better to have followed up on the smell, so it's something I need to remember for future reference. It's not often I get this in clairvoyance sessions so it tends to take me by surprise.

After all the messages were given we went on to close down and then close the Circle. I made an appointment with S2 to come and do my make-over on Thursday 13th. As we were wandering towards the door I remembered to tell the girls about the hit Sh had had with Bernard: it turns out he was my Aunty M's brother and best friend of Uncle W (Dad's favourite DBro) and he was Best Man at their wedding. He'd been hit over the head with a glass bottle and that incident totally changed his personality... and, rather sadly, he'd taken his own life (though Aunty was told that he'd had a fit). He'd crossed over when he was 25 years old.... in the same year that I was born. How spooky is that.... and I'd known nothing about this until my DSis checked with Uncle. So Bernard was right.... I did find out. LOL Sh's accuracy with names is really good and each conformation is giving her more confidence. :0)

With this we all said our goodbyes and headed home. Thankfully it was still reasonably light for my solo journey home.... not too many wrong gears either. LOL It was good to get home though, as it had been a much more emotional evening than usual and I was feeling quite tired after it.

ACUPUNCTURE - 29TH APRIL

Would you believe, I've actually made a few notes on this session, though not about what was treated, which I can't remember.

I do remember that G was on reception. She said that the Shamballah Healing Course, which she'd also been on, had seemed to really boost her energy levels and she'd finally started to tackle the long needed sort out of her box room. She'd been going through many of her books in there and had found some she thought I might be interested in and asked if I would like them:

I don't have them in my collection, so I said I would love to read them... they're certainly something I'm interested in. LOL She didn't want them back and wouldn't take anything for them, so I thanked her hugely... and am so glad I decided to stitch the picture of her Power Animal for her. :0) I promised her that, when I'd read them, I would bring them into Circle to offer up to the others, to see if they would like to read them too.

During the acupuncture treatment (I was laid on my back, so I know the hormones and knees would have needles in them - no idea what else) the name Jean came to me. I asked if it was Joan, as I have an Aunt of that name in Spirit, but no, it was definitely Jean. My next thought was of Janet's Grandma. I also got an image that was possibly of mountains but I wasn't sure, as it wasn't quite clear enough. When Janet came back in at the end of the treatment I asked if the name Jean meant anything to her.... she was a relative of her Grandma's. She thought maybe her Grandma's sister but wasn't really sure... her Grandma had had a falling out with her and others from her family which meant Janet hadn't had anything to do with them, so didn't know much about them. I think she said they lived somewhere in Scotland, hence the mountains. I was quite pleased at this hit, especially as things at Circle had been a bit hit and miss lately! LOL Janet was pleased to know her Grandma had been around again. :0)

After the acupuncture treatment (whatever it was on LOL) I paid my usual visit to the Hospice Bookshop. Yes, I know - had already scored two books but still couldn't resist going looking for more! What can I say.... I'm a bit of a book addict. Here's what I found this time:

Now tell me it wasn't so worth going in there! ROFL I thought I may already have the Melody book but decided to take it anyway... they rarely come up, they cost an arm and a leg to buy at Mind, Body and Spirit events (I've recently seen someone asking £60.00 for a hardback version!), it was a bargain at £3.00... and I knew someone who would love it, if I did already have it.

I asked the lady in there if I could leave the bag of books behind the counter whilst I went to do a little shopping and pick them up on my way home and she said OK. I think I just headed to Wilko's, not bothering with the market, then headed back. It was a relief to get home and drop those bags, I can tell you! LOL

I checked my book stash when I got upstairs and discovered that I did have the Melody book already. No problem.... I plan on taking it to Circle with me next week, to gift to another crystal fan. :0)

DEVELOPMENT CIRCLE - 27TH APRIL

This week we were to do a basic 3-card tarot spread for ourselves using our own set of cards.

Aureen talked a little about the cards and how to prepare ourselves and the cards for a reading, so we would know what to do should we also wish to give readings to others.... something she said would be good practice for us, if we were given the opportunity. Preparation involved invoking protection, opening our Chakras and meditating, allowing us to hold the cards in our hands and visualise them being washed in white light, thus ridding the cards of any vibration from ourselves or previous clients. She always starts a reading by telling the client that she isn't a fortune teller and that the cards are there as a tool, to show possible paths, and allowing us to make decisions and choices or presenting another view - nothing is set in stone, as we have free will and some things can be changed by this. She would then give the cards to the clinet to shuffle or, if reading for herself, shuffle them herself. When this has been done she takes the top three cards from the deck for a basic three card spread reading. For a bigger reading you can fan the cards in front of you and ask the client (or choose yourself) as many cards are needed for whichever type of reading you are doing.

We then opened up the Circle, protected ourselves, opened our Chakras and meditated: this involved tuning in to our breathing, then focusing on our third eye and throat Chakras (to awaken all psychic senses to receive information from Spirit, as well as from the cards). We had to visualise a triangle, with the point at third eye level, the sides running through our inner ears and the base going through our throat Chakra, then pulling energy into the triangle. This done we then set about cleansing the cards, shuffled them and pulled the top three cards from the deck.

Unfortunately I can't remember the bits I haven't written down. Each of us had a different Tarot deck, so many of the cards had different pictures on them: I don't have their cards to act as a memory jogger and it's hard to show the meaning when I can't post a photo of the exact cards they pulled. I think I'll stick to just posting my own pics when I do posts about the Circle nights that we do Tarot or other card readings. Much easier on my brain! LOL

My own cards were:

I felt The Lord, though he looked a little severe, was strong in his masculine power. His horns represent the Horned God, Cernunnos, Lord of the Hunt. The eagle is a reminder of Cerridwen, the feminine aspect, when she became an eagle to chase Taliesin and force him into transforming, to use his newly gained powers. I felt that it was telling me I was now strong. Some of the girls have seen the eagle in messages for me, symbolising my new-found freedom.
The Eight of Swords shows a woman tied and blindfolded and hemmed in by swords, unsure of where to step. I felt I had been unsure of what step to take next along my Path but felt I did now, as the Shamballah Healing Course was making me realise I do want to develop the healing side..... though was still unsure of the direction to go after the course.
I felt the Four of Wands was a positive and happy card, as the swathes made me think of betrothals and weddings and the hearth and home image is strong - something which features strongly and is important in my life, and always has been. I was unsure of the overall message of the cards though.

Aureen's reading of the cards: I'm now strong and have the energy to do what I want; I need to be aware and looking around, so I can see all the options available - be mindful; good/happy card to finish on, as it represents a positive future/happenings/events.... I'll be happiest when doing Spiritual work. I should always do some kind of Spiritual work but always be open and aware of all the opportunities that are around me.

I felt this went to show that I was now on the right Path.... and that the Eight of Swords was telling me that I can't be open and aware if I allow myself to be hemmed in the house for most of the week..... or allow myself to be hemmed in by certain outdated mindsets that create limitations for myself. An open mind will allow me to fly as free as that eagle! :0)

When each of us had looked at all of our card readings and given our interpretations, then had Aureen's reading of them, we put our cards away and went on to open up for clairvoyance. Again, I can't remember the bulk of this as I've had too many sleeps and lots of other things have happened since. :0)

What I have noted is that Sh said she got the name Bernard for me and when she asked he wouldn't give her any more information and said: Karan will know, she'll find out. I laughed and said: Oh, great - so now I'm getting homework from the Spiritworld! Right... I'll go ask the Uncles again. LOL The girls were laughing at this.

I'm assuming I didn't get anything for anyone, as there are no notes. After all the messages had been given we went through our usual closing procedures.

After driving home, with DH as passenger, I rang DSis and told her about Bernard - the name didn't ring a bell with her but she was seeing one of the Uncle's on her day off and was phoning the other one the following evening, so she said she'd ask...... then said she hoped that, as she was doing my homework for me, that it would gain her brownie points with the Spiritworld. LOL So now I wait for her to let me know what the results of this is.

ACUPUNCTURE 22ND APRIL

I'm afraid this session is so long ago I haven't a clue what was treated or what was talked about....... but I did call at the Hospice Bookshop afterwards, as I've got the pics to prove it:

Plus I also called at the Post Office to post a package and came out with a magazine and then on to the market, where I bought a couple of peel-off boxes, ready for getting my peel-offs sorted through and organised:

Fingers crossed I've made better notes for successive treatments...... and that I actually manage to catch up with the overdue posts and keep this darned blog up-to-date in future! :0)

DEVELOPMENT CIRCLE - 20TH APRIL

This week Aureen gave us the news we were all expecting: A isn't rejoining us, as changes in her OH's and ex's shifts have meant neither can babysit for her; she also felt that she'd already missed so much she was far enough behind for it to be a problem, in that she probably wouldn't be able to catch up and she also didn't want to feel like she was holding us back. Such a shame, as she has a natural gift that will only get better with the practice... but I guess it's a case of it not yet being the right time for her. Hopefully that will change in the future and she'll be able to come back to it. :0)

This week we held the Circle sat around the table. After opening the Circle, grounding ourselves and opening our Chakras S1 brought her scarab out of her bag, so we could do psychometry on it. Unfortunately it all happened so long ago I can't remember much of what happened and only have my notes on what I got to go on.

I didn't see anything, just got a sweet, sort of fudgey smell as I held it. S2 picked up a small, cramped workshop, felt it had been a gift rather than having bought it herself and a few other things.
S1 told us that she had been in a shop in the bazaar area where her OH was buying various bits and pieces (he's a bit of a collector, from the sounds of things) when she'd spotted and immediately fell for the scarab. She was going to buy it for herself but the shop owner, as her OH had bought several pieces, decided to give it to "the pretty lady". The shop had been in an area where all kinds of herbs, spices and resins had also been for sale (my sweet, fudgey smell). Not alot for me but it was a hot.... S2, as always, picked up the most and was very accurate. :0)

We were going to them open up for clairvoyance but S2 had thought we were all to bring something to do psychometry on and had brought a flower with her. She asked Aureen if we could do some psychometry on it for her, so there was a slight change of plan to accommodate this.

They were very pretty polyanthus in a reddish orange colour. I think S1 felt they were given as a gift and had a view of S2 as a little girl, very happy and a few other things (can't remember). Can't even remember if G was there - think she was, but if she was I can't remember what she saw. I just got the words: They're for you, Mummy. I took this to mean that her DD had picked them and given them to her..... but it wasn't until later that I realised her DD isn't a little girl but a 17 year old!
Sh saw an elderly gentleman in a garden, S2 as a little girl and several other things I can't remember.
Can't remember what Aureen saw but remember she said that they were tinged with both happiness and sadness.
S2 said that we were all right, in a way, and enlightened us: the elderly gentleman was her Dad. The flowers had been bought and planted in her garden, by her Dad as a thank you for looking after him after her Mum had passed away - tragically, her Dad passed away suddenly, joining her soon after this. The flowers are planted where S2 can see them whenever she looks out of her kitchen window - and every time she sees them she remembers her parent's but they also make her smile, as they are such happy-looking little flowers.

We then opened for clairvoyance. I didn't get anything for anyone during this.
I can't remember what everyone got for everyone else as I only have the notes I made of what was given to me, as a reminder so that I can check relevant details and report back on hits.

S1 saw me walking on a flinty type area up a mountain but couldn't quite get the name, saying that it sounded something like Scarfeld or Scaffold. She said I was really enjoying myself and up ahead, turning back to tell the other people I was with to hurry up and catch up - she said they were amazed and couldn't get over how well I was doing.  I asked if the flint could actually be slate and she said yes, something like that, so I said that it could well be Scafell Pike.... we are going to be going on holiday to the Lake District again this year, though I hadn't currently got any plans to do quite such a strenuous walk. LOL

Sh saw me in a kitchen, making a cup of tea, where there was a wooden table. Then there were lots of other people around me, all having cups of tea or coffee, as if it were a coffee morning. She felt that it wasn't so much something I would literally be doing but more representative of how far I'd come. It was something I couldn't have considered before (in my agoraphobic/panic attack state) but was ready for now.
As an aside: I have, kind of, done something similar to this since Sh saw it - a group of us making hot drinks in Jan's kitchen, whilst attending the Shamballah Healing Course, and going to sit at a wooden table... though that was a round one and not square. :0)

Aureen said that she felt I was becoming more confident and really coming into my power now and that, as I realised this and worked with that power, I would work with Spirit fully. They are there, waiting - I just have to ask them to come closer. Meantime I just need to keep on with the practising and meditation.
Some of this is already beginning to happen, as I seem to be getting more things at home at the moment, and I mentioned having especially vivid dreams.... which I've been amking sure I write down in my special notebook. Aureen was pleased with that and said to make sure I carried on with that and that it was also something we should all be doing.

After some chat about what had been received we went on to close down and close the Circle. No idea what happened after that as it was too long ago for me to remember. :0)

REIKI - 17TH APRIL

I felt well ready for this month's Reiki session. Although I'd felt much calmer on leaving the Clinic after my acupuncture the occasional down session started coming through again on Friday.

Jan was the receptionist today, though I didn't have much time for a natter before Aureen called me into Treatment Room 2. As I was putting my bag down and taking off my coat Aureen asked how I was. I told her about my reaction to G's news, the upset, the acupuncture treatment, the special dates (birthday and anniversary) and how I was feeling then. I was still feeling emotional, as I got upset a bit again, and then a little cross with myself. As I said to her: with my beliefs about the afterlife, and the proof I've had, why am I still grieving? Her answer was simple: because I miss their physical presence. She then explained that hanging on isn't letting them progress to the next level and I said I knew that and it was another cause of frustration and anger with myself, as I don't want to be the cause of holding them back.

Aureen said that she would perform psychic surgery again, as it seemed she hadn't got it all previously.... and perhaps some of it had grown back. With that I had taken off all my jewellery (bar my crystal pieces) shoes, specs and scrunchie and got on the treatment bed, where Aureen covered me up with the blanket.

Soon after starting the treatment Aureen asked me which Chakra it was in and immediately I said heart, as I'd thought this even before she'd asked. She asked what it looked like: a ball of wool, but not the neat and tidy ones you buy from the shop - this was more like those untidy, self-wound balls of yarn that go in all directions. I thought that was it but then said that I felt that some of the tendrils from it were reaching into my throat Chakra too, as I couldn't always talk about some of it (certainly not to my DSis). When she asked me what colour it was I was initially unsure and said so, then I could clearly see it: it was mostly black, but shot through with red and told her that the red was for anger. She said it was OK, to just relax now, as she had called on Archangels Rafael and Michael and they were there helping.

Part way through the session I could feel tears start to trickle down my cheeks and I brushed them away. Aureen stopped long enough to hand me a tissue, then carried on. a while after, when the tears had stopped, I heard Aureen's voice telling me that it was alright and my heart Chakra was being filled with lots of pink light: I knew this, as I could see it swirling behind my eyelids - not the usual vivid pink, a gentler colour, along with lots of spring green (the Chakra colour). I could feel myself become more and more relaxed as the session went on and was almost on the point of zoning out into sleep when it ended.

Aureen gently touched me on the shoulder and asked if I was OK. I said I didn't have that definite feeling of something having been removed, as I did previously, but I did have the same shell-shocked sensation, a sure sign of what she had been doing. She told me that she had removed it, pulling out the tendrils from my throat, and that it had been extremely heavy - this she had passed over the Archangels Michael and Rafael, for them to take up into the Universe and transform it, whilst she then filled everywhere with pink light. I told her about seeing this and also that I had seen my Mum and Dad's faces.... and that I had said goodbye to them. She was pleased this had happened and that I'd been able to do this. She then told me she'd seen my Guide. I told her that I knew he had been there, as I'd seen him too: this time he had been wearing the moccasins and leggings I'd seen him in previously but this time he'd appeared to be bare-chested, apart from a beaded breastplate; I'd seen his face a little more qucily before seeing his dark hair in a single braid; instead of the full eagle feather bonnet on his head there were two feathers.... and as soon as I saw them I heard the words Two Feathers repeated three times. Aureen smiled and said: well now you know his name. So my Spirit Guide is called Two Feathers. :0)

Aureen then told me that she had been really surprised because when she'd seen my Guide he'd spoken to her. He'd said: My daughter is not just grieving for her parent's in this lifetime, my daughter also grieves for her parent's in another lifetime. He then told her that I'd had a previous life as a Native American.... and during that life I'd witnessed my parent's being killed in front of me. I'd carried the trauma of that over with me into this incarnation, so when my Mum and Dad died it had triggered the previous loss and that was why I am grieving so hard.... and why it feels like a part of me died when they did. She told me that, as well as doing the psychic surgery removal she had also rescued that part of me.

As I listened it felt as if several things clicked into place. I told her that it just seemed to make sense, and that it also explained a couple of things from my childhood. Whenever I was swinging on a swing I always imagined myself, and clearly saw the mental image, of myself as a Native American girl galloping on a pinto pony across a wide open plain - I later put this down to a good imagination but now wonder if it had been an actual past life memory. If ever we watched cowboy films and there was an attack on a Native American village I would get really indignant and say it was so wrong... I was always on the side of the NA's. Then there would be the state I would get into if I ever thought about my parent's dying. Yes, children do go through a phase of thinking about this but this was more than that and I would get into a real panic about it..... until I eventually learnt to block it out. It seemed to confirm a few things for Aureen, as she nodded. It also explains why the previous psychic surgeries haven't fully excised everything and why it keeps building up again.

What she said next gave me pause for thought: she would have to perform psychic surgery on me again during my next session. This time she would treat the past life trauma and heal it, as it was still affecting this lifetime, and to ensure that I don't carry it over with me into any future incarnations. OK, I understand the need for this.... but flippin' heck, the psychic surgery I've been through for this lifetime's problems have been pretty heavy - goodness knows what that is going to be like!

By this time I'd had a few sips of water and felt up to moving, so I climbed off the bed and started putting my bits and pieces back on and Aureen recommended that I take it easy for the rest of the day and have a lie down at some point. It was almost time for her next client, so I gathered everything together, thanked her and went out to reception. Jan took me into Treatment Room 1 for a chat. I told her what had been revealed by the session.... and she told me about her own past life memory and how her father from that lifetime had become her Guide. We discussed how the menopause treatment was going and I asked if she could make up some more of the herbal mix for me, as I was finding that the combination of the herbal mix and acupuncture was, in the main, working well together - I get the occasional glitch when I'm not feeling well or if I haven't had soya milk daily... and spicey foods can trigger a few flushes too. As she made up my mix we chatted a little about the upcoming Healing Course and, as it was being held in her home and Jan was feeding us each lunchtime, she double-checked what I could and couldn't eat, so I told her that I was still basically doing the Candida diet, as it suited me so well.

When the mix was ready I made my next appointment and paid my dues, thanked her and left. I didn't bother with anything else but went straight home... to an empty house, as DH and DS were out. After I'd had a quick bite to eat and sat looking through a magazine I soon realised that the recommendation to have a lie down was more of a necessity. Just as I was heading up the stairs my DH arrived home. After a quick hello and chat about what he'd been doing and what had happened with Reiki he soon realised I was struggling, so he helped me upstairs and made sure I settled OK, then left me to sleep..... for two solid hours.

A bit later, as we were sat eating our Saturday night take-out curry, I told DH that, about a month or so after my op, I'd got the sensation of not feeling quite right: beforehand I'd been buzzing with energy, getting lots done and, mostly, quite positive but afterwards.... well, I was certainly more subdued, been taking life really seriously and just didn't quite feel like "me". I felt that hadn't got anything to do with the missing ovaries and lack of monthlies, as I was glad to see them go and stop causing me problems..... I'd been looking forward to menopause and finally embracing my Crone years. Whilst I still didn't quite get the feeling of having had something removed during the psychic surgery I could now sense that something had changed and felt I was more like the real "me". He said that I certainly seemed a lot calmer than recently, though often was after Reiki.

I guess only time will tell as to whether or not it has made a real difference. :0)

ACUPUNCTURE - 15TH APRIL

This week had been a bit of an up and down one: G's news about her DH on Tuesday night seemed to have triggered quite a few things for me.... added to which was the fact that this month would see my Dad's birthday on the 27th and the anniversary of his passing on the following day. Odd, how you can go along feeling fine and thinking that everything has been dealt with... only to be knocked flat on your ass by something that's happening to someone else.

When I got to the Clinic G was on reception, so I asked her how she was feeling now and her reply was better. We didn't have long to chat though, as Janet was ready for me to go through to the treatment room.

She asked me how things had been going, though I could tell by the beady look she gave me that she had spotted something wrong with my Qi and it was a leading question. LOL I told her about G telling us her news and how it had upset me. It wasn't just for the fact that it had triggered off memories of Dad and what he'd gone through.... having been through the awful time with Dad I knew just what was in store for G and she's such a lovely person that the thought of her going through it was upsetting too. I cried some as I told Janet about it all, then said: But I'd been doing so well.

Janet then said that grief didn't have a set pattern and that it was actually still not all that long a time since I lost my parents, especially my Dad, so it was understandable that G's news would act as a trigger. She also reminded me of the boxes analogy: some issues have obviously been boxed up, rather than dealt with, whilst others have left a residue in my Qi that needs to be moved on and released. She said she would do a treatment that would help this to happen, along with the usual hormonal balancing one.

With that she left the room whilst I took my shoes, socks, cardigan and top off and got laid on the treatment bed. When she came back in I apologised and told her that, in the upset, I'd forgotten to mention that my left knee had been feeling a tad arthritic on and off all week too, sometimes making me limp, so she said she would do something for that too. So this time I had needles in: the left and right sides of my left kneecap (fleshy area); the regular ones around both ankles; in the liver meridians in the top of each foot (ouch! they gave me a big jump this time - a sure sign of the upset); the one in my third eye; one in my right ear; a couple in each hand and extra ones in my upper chest area, between my boobs and a little higher. Some of them made me feel a little woozy when they went in..... another sign that they were moving the energies. After covering me with the turkey roasting blankets, putting the relaxation music on and turning out the light she told me that I was in a totally safe environment and that it was OK to let everything go. I thanked her and she went out.

Well something definitely moved around because as soon as the woozy sensation eased I started to blub again... though it was a gentle release. Unfortunately I couldn't get a tissue out of my pocket because of the needles in my hands. I was glad when Janet popped back in a few minutes later, to see how I was - she gave me a tissue, asked if I was OK and when I said I would be, she left me to go through the rest of the treatment.

Once I'd mopped myself up I started to feel better, began to feel calmer and relaxed and began to drift quite nicely. When Janet came back into the room at the end of the session I almost jumped... as I told her, another five minutes and I'd have been asleep! She seemed quite pleased with that and the fact that I was obviously much calmer. After removing the needles I thanked her and told her that I was feeling much better. She left me to get dressed, reminding me to drink some water before coming out of the treatment room.

After getting up, getting dressed and drinking some water I realised that the ache in my knee had gone and the joint was moving more freely. Another great result! When I was ready I went out to reception to make my next appointment and pay. Once the other client had been taken through to the other treatment room there was a chance to chat with G. She said she felt she was dealing better with the news now, though had felt a little angry after the upset: I said that it was perfectly natural to feel that way, as you go from thinking that there's hope (whilst treatment after the initial diagnosis is ongoing) to having it snatched away when hearing the terminal verdict and that it seems to trigger a kind of grieving process. We chatted for a little longer, then another client came in, so we said our goodbyes until the following Tuesday.

I left pleased that, despite the intial upset before my treatment, that I had been calm enough to be able to talk to G and let her offload a little.... and hoped that some of what we'd talked about had helped her. I know that having someone to talk to who had been there would have helped me through when Dad was having treatment and, ultimately, dying (and probably have helped with the aftermath too) but that opportunity hadn't been there - his MacMillan nurse hadn't been there for him, let alone his family, and there was no one else I knew locally. Knowing you're not alone is so important in these situations.

Afterwards I had a quick look in the Hospice bookshop but I didn't find anything. I decided against going to the market or the shops, in the circumstances, and headed home for a herbal tea and a much-needed chill out.

DEVELOPMENT CIRCLE - 13TH APRIL

No A again this week but everyone else turned up. I was able to tell everyone that G had had a hit the previous week: my DSis thought that Ted was an old neighbour of our parents, who lived in the house whose garden backed onto theirs. He was a keen gardener and grew lots of beautiful climbing roses on the fence between their gardens. Our Uncle W, when she asked him, also thought that was his name. I can remember the roses but not the neighbour, unfortunately. It's always good to report back on successes. :0)

G then told us that she had something she felt she needed to share with us, as she was feeling a bit emotional and wanted us to know in case she got a bit upset at any point during the evening. Her DH had been having treatment for prostate cancer.... they had just been given the news that day that he was now terminal, as it had gone into his bones. I put my hand on her shoulder, for comfort and support, and quickly sent a plea to Archangel's Rafael and Michael for help for them both - having seen what my Dad, SIL and cousin's wife went through it was awful to think of what they'll both face in the coming months. Life can be so bloody cruel sometimes...... and cancer one of the cruellest damned things of all. Aureen made sure that G and her DH were both in the Healing Book and the prayer was even more heartfelt than usual.

Having checked that G felt OK to go on (she said she felt it would help her) we all took it in turns to read out the pieces we had done on our Power Animals. S1, S2 and G had written poems or poem style pieces on theirs and Sh had written a great piece on her PA's characteristics, turning those negative aspects you associate with a fox (laziness, craftiness etc) into positives in such a good way it had us all laughing. If ever I need a speech doing I shall ask her to write it for me! LOL Aureen also read out a poem she had written some time ago about her first PA, the deer. There is absolutely no way I can remember all of these pieces... though they are personal to each person, so I wouldn't put any details here anyway, as I feel that wouldn't be right. I don't mind sharing my piece though. :0)

I'm no poet and the thought of writing one didn't appeal much. What I did was to keep a piece of paper by my armchair and headed it with the title of: Power Animal - Elephant and, as I pottered around during the day my thoughts were occasionally drawn to my PA and a word would pop into my head... so I'd jot it down on the paper. I also Googled and found an interesting piece about elephants that brought a few more ideas and thoughts to the surface. The words I came up with and the thoughts I subsequently jotted down were:

Matriarch - they live in matriarchal groups, my own family is dotted with strong female characters, to say nothing of my beliefs;
patient; stoical - they make slow and steady progress in all that they do, stoically accepting it all - often plodding on through some horrendous drought conditions to get to another watering hole or better feeding grounds... my old school reports often contained the words: Karan has made slow but steady progress this term... and patience is something I know I need to work on;
defender - usually when threatened, or feel their young are. I would rarely defend myself, even though bullied in every school I ever attended... but if anyone ever hurt my DBro or DSis I wouldn't think twice about wading in;
compassionate; loving - when one of their own dies elephants will often stay around the body for a long time, gently stroking the body with their trunks and actually grieve. It fits. And I've said for some time that I think one of my life lessons to learn this time around is compassion;
long lived; intelligent; gentle; strong; wanderer;
long suffering - they have always been, and continue to be, poached for their ivory tusks;
revered: as the elephant headed Ganesh or Ganesha, a Hindu deity known as the Remover of Obstacles, Deva of Intellect and Wisdom, Patron of Letters. He is associated with the first or base/root chakra and the Aum - the base supports and guides all other Chakras. Aureen, after Reiki sessions, often says that I am firmly grounded in Mother Earth.

It'll be interesting to do further meditations, as I am sure there is much more to be learnt from all of this and more yet to discover.... and it will be lovely to get to know my Power Animal much better. The more I think of it the more I realise that an elephant as a Power Animal is perfect for me. :0)

Next was the meditation to meet our Guides, so we opened the Circle, protected and grounded ourselves, then opened our Chakras and concentrated on our breathing for a while. We then had to pull energy into our heart Chakras by breathing in to it, then imagine a green rose, whose petals were edged with gold, blooming within our heart Chakra and allow it to fill with golden energy. Next was to walk down the country lane to our safe place and, as we walked through it, ensure all our senses were active. From here we had to walk to the far side of the meadow, through the gate (or up and over the wooden stile, in my case), along the path and through the forest to the place we met our Power Animal. When our PA's came to us we were to follow them through to the other side of the forest and out onto a path that took us up the side of a mountain where, after a while, it flattened out to an area that had a natural spring running and we stopped to take a drink and rest a little. Here Aureen told us that if, at any time we were unsure about anything or if we didn't meet our Guides, we were to return to this spot and wait until everyone came back, then journey back with them. From here we carried on up to the top of the mountain, still following our PA. When we reached the top we were to see, off to one side, a mist and in the middle of the mist a bridge - this is where our Guides would walk over from, to meet us.
We had to look down at the ground and notice a pair of feet in front of us, then look up theto the legs, then on up until we could see them. When we could fully see them we had to ask three times: Are you my true Guide? If they left we were to do this bit over again and ask the successive Guide the same question again, three times. If the Guide was still there after the third asking we were to sit down and connect with them and ask any questions we wanted to. If we didn't meet our Guide we were to return to the place where we previously met our Power Animal and there wait until the others returned to that spot, then go back with them.
After a while our Guide would say goodbye and return over the bridge, then we would do the journey back (in reverse order) and slowly come back to ourselves.

Aureen then went around the group, asking each of us what had happened.

S1 had made the journey OK and had seen a Native American but when she asked him was he her true Guide he turned around and went back across the bridge. Unfortunately she didn't see her true Guide and had gone back to wait at the spring. Aureen said not to worry, it obviously wasn't yet time for her to meet hers and suggested that she does more visualisations, working with her Power Animal at home, then try again.

S2 was so happy at finally meeting her Guide, who was called Jacob and was a monk - she could give a vivid description of him. When she sat down with him she received a feeling of overwhelming love. She asked him questions but I can't remember them.

Sh met her Guide too. He was an Egyptian, and said he wasn't a Pharoah or anything like that, an ordinary Egyptian but he looked like he was a guard. She wasn't sure of his name and also received a message (personal) but didn't feel anything.

I met mine! :0) As soon as the feet were mentioned a vivid image of a pair of moccasins appeared immediately in front of me, the legs were clad in buckskin leggings with fringes, the body in a buckskin tunic with fringes and he had the eagle feather bonnet on... though I didn't see his face very clearly. I was also still unsure of his name.... but he was exactly as I had forst seen him during a meditation at home. Aureen asked if I had felt anything and I said it had felt comfortable and right. She then asked if I had asked if he was my true Guide and I replied that I had.

G also met hers: she was a young girl, though she said she seemed an old soul when she looked into her eyes.  She said she looked sort of Asian but she didn't think she was Chinese - we threw a few nationalities out and when someone mentioned Tibetan G immediately said yes, that seemed right. She also felt overwhelming love.

Aureen then said that what we should all have felt was overwhelming love coming from our Guides to us. As Sh and myself hadn't felt that she thought that we were both probably blocking ourselves. I know I have a bit of a block going on at the moment, although am not sure why or what is causing it... and Sh said she felt she probably was too. Aureen again said that we should practice more at home, connecting with and speaking to our Guides, and that this would overcome any blocks and allow the love to come through. It was a nice thought. :0)

I'm afraid I can't remember what else happened after this, though I think we closed the Circle soon after, as this had been a long evening after discussing our Power Animal's and doing the Spirit Guide meditation.


The following day I decided to redo the meditation out of curiosity. I barely visualised my safe place and the forest but it didn't matter, as Spirit obviously decided to dispense with formalities because, almost with a Whoosh!, I was suddenly up at the top of the mountain. Within moments my Guide walked towards me and this time it felt like my heart Chakra opened wide, almost as if it was bursting from my chest.... but not in an unpleasant way. Love radiated to and from us..... it was the most amazing feeling and left me feeling slightly dazed. I know I asked some questions and thanked my Guide but when I came back to myself I couldn't for the life of me remember what was said..... but that doesn't bother me, as I feel that on some level I've taken in what was said and I'll remember what was said when the time is right.

Incidentally: I redid the meditation on the New Moon. Better energies, perhaps?

ACUPUNCTURE - 8TH APRIL

Sorry, I've left writing this post for far too long to remember much detail on what happened.

I did mention to Janet that I seemed to be having a problem with my left leg, finding that in Circle it regularly tenses up, especially during meditations...... though lately I was finding that it would even tense up big time whilst I was just sat at the computer at home. It was obviously becoming a bit of a nuisance. She said that this week she would need me to remove my jeans and lay face down on the bed, so she could treat the back of the leg, as well as using the regular needles around my ankles for the hormonal balancing. She removed the pillow from the treatment bed, ripped a small hole in the covering where there was a hole in the bed, and explained that usually the most comfortable way to be treated this way up was to lay with my face through the hole and then place my arms either down by my sides or curving around my head, whichever I felt happiest doing. She then left the room whilst I got myself ready, laid on the bed and covered myself with the towel.

On returning, and after washing her hands, Janet proceeded to press certain points along the back of my leg and on my left buttock - one particular area on the buttock was definitely sensitive: not painful but certainly not comfortable. Janet said that there was definitely a problem there (she did tell me what and with which muscle but I can't remember the details) and that, if left, it would probably develop into sciatica. OK, I don't want that... treat away. LOL

She then said that she would have to roll my pants down a little so she could place the needles where they needed to be and asked if that was OK and I said yes..... though the thought of someone seeing all that cellulite made me cringe a tad. LOL She then placed needles in the small of my back, in my left buttock where it had been uncomfortable and down my leg along the muscle associated with it, as well as the usual ones around both ankles. If I remember rightly, she also placed the usual ones in my wrists and hands too. She then covered me with the silver thermal blankets (always makes me think of an oven ready turkey! LOL), put on the relaxing music, turned out the light and left me to relax.

Relax? Hhhhmmm, that was a little easier said than done. Laying with my face through the hole put pressure on certain areas on my face after a while and got uncomfortable and having my arms by my side seemed to make it worse.... but then my neck would ache if I propped my head on my arms, then my arms started to ache if I had them above my head for a change. Nope, not the comfiest or most relaxing session I've ever had, by far, and I was relieved when Janet came back in to remove the needles. Despite this something definitely happened to my left leg, as it would occasionally keep tensing up and relaxing through the treatment and it felt much more relaxed afterwards. It barely bothers me now, except when I'm in Circle (will explain that in another post) and I haven't had to have it treated again since. :0)

After removal of the needles Janet left me to get dressed and take the usual sips of water. When I was ready it was out to reception to pay and make my next appointment. I think I made my way straight home after this session, as it was later than usual and the market would have been on the point of closing.

DEVELOPMENT CIRCLE - 6TH APRIL

This week all but A were present and correct.... it really is looking like A is going to be a permanent drop out from the Circle. :0(

Aureen told us that this week we were to go ahead and do the meditation to meet out Power Animal (not waiting for A is a sure sign that Aureen also thinks she's not going to return). We were all quite excited about this, as it seems to have taken a while to get to this point. :0)

Firstly we passed around the Healing Book, adding names and pouring healing into it for all those named within. Then Aureen asked us if we knew what Power Animal's were and I asked if it was similar to the Native American Totem Animal - it is. She told us more about Power Animal's, their Shamanistic links and their role as Protector's and Guide's and the benefits we will gain from linking and working with them. We then went on to open up the Circle, protect ourselves, then open our Chakras.

The meditation: after grounding and opening our Chakras we began with tuning in to our breathing (in through the nose, out through the mouth) and letting each muscle in our bodies relax. We then had to really open our heart Chakra, then walk along the country lane to our safe place and go in. After walking over to the other side of our safe place we were to find a gate in the boundary and go through it, closing it behind. On the other side we were to visualise a path that led to a forest which we had to walk into and in the forest was a small clearing and to one side of this was a seat (either a fallen tree or log or similar) on which we had to sit. Whilst sitting there we heard rustling in the bushes and from behind the bushes would come our Power Animal: we were to greet him/her, ask their name and any questions we wanted. When we had our answers we were to thank them, say goodbye and watch them return into the forest, then we were to make our way back through the route we had come, slowly returning to our bodies.
When we had all taken sips of our water Aureen asked us how it had gone.
S1 had enjoyed the meditation. Initially she had seen a snake, then a swan and possibly another animal but she knew these weren't her Power Animal and they went away. Finally a deer (likened to Bambi) came towards her and she knew this was the one, though I don't think she discovered its name. She made a couple of other observations but I can't remember what they were now.

Sh had also enjoyed the meditation and had success, meeting a fox called Red. She asked questions and had replies, though some were personal and I can't remember the others.

S2 had really enjoyed this and what had happened to her was really different. When she walked through the gate to go to the forest it was suddenly a wintery snowscape, though she didn't feel cold. In the woods she had spotted a wolf peering from behind the trees but a voice had told her "Not yet", so she'd carried on to the seat. Her Power Animal appeared and he was a polar bear called Great White Spirit. She was delighted and had hugged him and lain on his back. I can't remember what questions she'd asked or her replies.

I was initially thrown with this meditation when, almost immediately the figure of my Dad started to form in front of me.... so thrown that I told him that I couldn't talk now as it wasn't the right time, I had to do the meditation! (I told my DSis and she said: poor Dad, when he'd come all that way! LOL). Why is it that these things happen when they're not supposed to, but when they are... they don't?! I felt awful about doing that and it took me a bit to get into the meditation proper, so the visualisation wasn't that great, mostly quick images and still photographs. The gate at the other side of my safe place wasn't - it was a wooden stile that I climbed over. The path started as a cobbled one (think The Shambles in York) to the edge of the forest, then it was a pine needle strewn one going through the giant redwoods. My seat was a fallen tree, though not a redwood... something much smaller. Whilst waiting for my PA I had a fleeting image of a barn owl but, as I explained to everyone, I have a bit of a thing about owls and barn owls especially, so I thought it could be because of that, so I asked for my PA again. I was a bit stunned at the next image, as it was........ an elephant called Wisdom. The weirdness of seeing an elephant emerging from behind giant redwood trees took some getting over, I can tell you. LOL I felt her name answered my question about what she was there to teach me and what I was to learn from her... I also got a feeling that was a mix of calmness, gentleness, acceptance and stoic resolution...... almost as if the feeling wrapped around me in a gentle hug.

G had also enjoyed the meditation, visualising well and her PA was a tiger. I can't remember if she was given a name or not. She did hesitate with this initially, as she wasn't too sure if some of it was suggestion, after a couple of experiences she'd had on two night's during the previous week: she'd woken up and actually seen a tiger cub, with its front paws on her bed and looking at her. When she asked her PA about it he told her it was the young ones being playful and curious, wanting to meet her. How lovely was that? :0) She immediately said that she thought the tiger was to give her courage.
Aureen regularly works with her Power Animal's. One of hers is a deer - unfortunately I can't remember what she said the other one was.

We then went on to open for a short clairvoyance session. I can't remember the bulk of it now but, as I always do, had jotted down (in my special book) what I'd received and what had been received for me. I'd seen an image of something sparkly and initially couldn't tell if it was either a water fountain or a Christmas tree, so asked for it to be shown more clearly: it was a Christmas tree, with lots of sparkly lights over it. I didn't know what it was about but did feel that it was for Sh. Aureen said that perhaps something is to happen around Christmas time for her.
G saw a man in casual clothes, describing him as not scruffy looking but far from being in his best clothes.... gardening clothes, she felt, as he'd had a pair of secateurs in his hand, and he was in his 70's. I smiled, as I thought it was Dad.... having been turned away by me, now trying to communicate through G. That idea was soon knocked on the head though, as she said she got the name of Ted. It didn't ring any bells, so I said I'd ask my DSis and get her to ask the Uncle's.... the fount of all knowledge on family history.

As we were closing ourselves and the Circle down I got one final image: I saw my Spirit Guide, though this time he was wearing one of those beaded breastplates over his chest. We were given some homework this week: we were to write a poem or piece about our Power Animal, to be read out in Circle the following Tuesday. It was to give us the opportunity to link with and learn more about them, their attributes and what we felt we could learn from those attributes and how they could be of use in our day to day lives, as well as Spiritually. It should prove interesting. :0)

ACUPUNCTURE - 1ST APRIL

I'm afraid I've left writing about this session for so long that I'm struggling to remember much about it at all. So much for being organised and keeping up-to-date! LOL

I was pleased to report to Janet that I had felt much calmer and the instances of past issue recall had dwindled greatly.... and those things that did occasionally surface weren't upsetting me at all. That was a great improvement. :0)

I had some needles in my belly this time, as well as the usual hormone ones at my ankles and it was a very relaxing session. Afterwards I made an appointment for the following week. By the time I got out and down to the market the bulk of the stalls had already closed, including the craft stall. I didn't hang around but headed home, calling in at a couple of shops on the way back up the High Street.

I did get two good buys though: another Jacky Newcombe book, this time about psychic kids and their Angelic encounters, from the Hospice Bookshop and a scroll frame from the Hospice Charity shop. The frame was only 50p due to having a nut and wingnut bolt missing.... easily replaced, as my DH is sure to have something suitable tucked away in his workshop somewhere. :0)

DEVELOPMENT CIRCLE - 30TH MARCH

This Tuesday wasn't as quiet as I normally try to keep the day but it's not a complaint, as the disturbance was caused by the delivery of the new furniture and chair for my Craft Room. One large bookcase and filing cabinet are now in place.... and the room seems to have shrunk somewhat now. LOL The chair I'm delighted with, as not only is it fully adjustable (including the arms), it also has lumbar support for my back.... and the colour goes perfectly with the colour scheme. LOL I spent some of the day wiping everything down and cleaning the mucky bootprints off the laminate flooring - rain and men's boots make a right mess, despite them wiping their feet each time they came back into the house. I even put the first couple of folders onto the bookcase, ready to set the level of the first shelf. I shall enjoy getting everything organised so I can start working in there...... hopefully not too long into the future. :0)

DH had a School Governor's meeting to attend this week which made us a little later setting off than usual, though that wasn't a problem - he had decided he was visiting the local chippy again for his tea, so he made up some time on the journey out. That man's stomach definitely rules him! LOL

When I got there S1 was just knocking at the door, so I followed her in to find S2 was also there. I popped up to use the toilet and when I came down Sh had also arrived. There was no sign of the lady who owned the house - she had gone out visiting. We could all tell that the house was now being lived in.... it was a whole lot warmer! For the first time all winter I had to take my coat off. LOL Aureen told us that unfortunately G couldn't come again this week - although she was now better and back at work, she was actually working late. She would be having a word with Jan (she works at the Clinic) to see if she could alter this in future, so she could attend the Circle again. A didn't turn up again and hadn't been in touch with Aureen, so she would be phoning her during this week to see if everything was OK. So no Power Animal meditation once again, for which Aureen apologised - not a problem, as I pointed out.... it just wasn't time yet. With that we went into the other room.

The dining table in there surprised S2, who hadn't known it had been put back into the room, so Aureen explained the reason for it. The spare chair was taken away from the table and we all took our places around it. After we'd sat Aureen told us she had a surprise for us this week, as we couldn't do the meditation. For a change we would be having a go at.... Tarot. She seemed to look at me, to see what my response was. I was delighted - admittedly the delight was tinged with relief that we weren't going to be doing clairvoyance again, but this was something I've wanted to do for a while.

Aureen brought out two of her own Tarot decks to let us have a look at them, explaining that the deck with the rather basic looking images on them was one she had first used but which now sat in a drawer most of the time, whilst the second one was the one she used the most, especially for giving readings. The second, most used deck, had the nicest images and was the one we were all drawn to - partly because of the prettier images but also because we all felt there was more depth to them, thus more information to be gleaned from them.

Aureen then asked, due to what we had all been saying, had we all used or had Tarot card readings before - we had. She asked if we had decks of our own: Sh, S2 and myself do, S1 didn't, though had bought several decks for a friend. She was under the impression that a deck had to be a gift from someone and no one had ever bought her one. Aureen said that there were several things said about this but that she had always found that it was best to buy these things for yourself, so you could look at and handle them and see which you were the most drawn to - so S1 was going to go and look at some with a view to buying one for herself. S2 said that she had heard the same theory about crystal balls (it having to be a gift) but Aureen once again said that she felt it was more a matter of personal taste. Sh wondered how you'd know if it was the right one for you, so I said that it was the same as with any crystal: it was best to handle them, to feel the energies, and you'd know which was yours because it was the one you were most drawn to because it just felt right - that's what I did whenever I bought any kind of crystal.

We talked a little on places to buy crystals, crystal balls and Tarot decks from and that's when I got a bit of a shock: Aureen said that there used to be a place in Market Rasen but her friend had told her that that had closed down. I asked: what, The Rainbow Room? Yes, it has closed. I am guttted, as that is the place I bought most of my crystals and jewellery from, along with some esoteric books and a Tarot deck. S2 mentioned a shop in our town centre, though she couldn't remember its name: it's where she'd spotted a beautiful crystal ball that she coveted and wanted for her Mother's Day gift... but her DD refused to buy it for her. Methinks she'll be going back and buying it for herself now. LOL It's a shop I haven't been to in a very long while, as I hardly ever go into the town centre, but I shall be making a point of visiting it before long now, just to see what it carries.... especially now the Rainbow Room is no longer there. :0( We mentioned the Mind, Body and Spirit events too - I shall have to scan and print the leaflets I have for upcoming events and take them in next week, so they'll know when and where they are on, should they want to visit one or other of them.

Aureen told us a story about her own crystal ball. The first time she'd looked into it all she saw were coffins with lids on, propped up on trestles. She couldn't see if there were any bodies in them - just lots of coffins. Some time later she had been told by a friend who was their boss's secretary, where she used to work, that, although she didn't want to break any confidences, she was looking for another job and thought it would be a good idea if Aureen did so too. Soon after Aureen had had a dream in which she'd seen her friend and herself pull up in their cars at the same place, walk down the road together and into the same place. In there they'd both had interviews, at the same time and by the same person - during the interview someone had been stood leaning against a particular section of the wall. Shortly after this they were looking at jobs in the paper and one at a Funeral Home looked promising for her friend, as it was job share (part time). Her friend suggested that she go for it too, but she needed a full time job. As it panned out, the other person left, so the part-time job now became full time: both Aureen and her friend (at her friend's insistence) went for the interview, and it all unfolded exactly as in her dream, with the person standing up against the wall turning out to be the man's wife. Aureen recognised both the man and his wife, feeling she'd known them in a previous lifetime. When the chap showed her and her friend around the premises he took them into the workshop........ where there were coffins with lids on one trestles, exactly as she'd seen in the crystal ball. It ended happily too: the friend insisted Aureen took the job, as it was full-time and she only wanted part time..... but a little later the chap opened another office and gave her friend a part-time job there. How spooky was that? LOL

On deciding that we all liked the second deck the most Aureen put them to one side of the table and put the others back on a side table, as we wouldn't be using them. We then circulated the Healing Book, so we could all add names and/or send healing into it. We then opened the Circle, protected and grounded ourselves and opened our Chakras. Next was a short meditation, concentrating on fully opening our throat and third eye Chakras, as we would need to use all of our senses for the card reading: clairvoyance; clairsentience; clairaudience, as well as intuition.  The meditation: to imagine breathing in through our throat Chakra, then the same with the third eye Chakra; we then had to imagine a triangle, starting from the third eye, the sides intersecting our ears and the base going through the throat Chakra; we then had to imagine breathing (or pulling in) energy through this triangle, then come back to ourselves.

Aureen then went on to explain the type of reading we would be doing and how she prepared things before a reading. We would be doing a basic three-card spread, representing Past, Present and Future and she would firstly do the meditation; then she would cleanse the cards by imagining them being washed in the cleansing waterfall (from a previous meditation); as the person she would be reading for entered the room she would be using all of her senses to "read" the person and their aura; once they were sat she would aske them to shuffle the cards whilst thinking of a specific question they may have; she would then either deal the top three cards from the deck or spread the cards and ask the person to choose three; the cards would be placed in front of her, from left to right, in the order they were dealt/chosen. She would then proceed to do the reading.

S1 was to read for me first. She cleansed the cards and handed them to me, I shuffled them then spread them in front of me and chose three cards I felt drawn to. The three cards I chose were: Past - Knight of Swords; Present - The Empress; Future - Death.

The Knight was in full battle armour, a bloodied sword over his shoulder and a burning, but still standing, tower in front: S1 focused on the tower and that it may be battered but it was still standing strong. I pointed to the bloodied sword, as I felt that was relevant. Though he'd obviously been through a battle he had come out of it the other end still strong and unbowed. The conclusion was that I had been some rough times but had weathered them and come out the other side, still strong.
The Empress: strong, intuitive and the eagle on the shield made her think of the eagle she'd seen clairvoyantly, representing me flying free. The cornucopia was abundance, another positive sign. Conclusion: that a time of abundance was coming, a fruition of plans.
The Death card made S1 suck in her breath so I told her not to think of it as meaning an actual death but as transformation and rebirth, which Aureen agreed with. S1 said that Death himself didn't look too threatening on this card, with his scythe lowered to the ground. Then there was a beautiful white rose in full bloom that she said was certainly positive, as it was a living thing. The conclusion: that there'd be a time of change and transformation for me and that it was all positive.
The overall view was spot on for where I feel I am on my Path at this point.

I read for S1. I cleansed the cards then handed them to her to shuffle and choose three. Her cards were: Past - Five of Staves; Present - Two of Swords; Future - Seven of Pentacles.
Five of Staves: this had different arms, all holding staves that were criss crossed together. I mentioned the arms, especially the one in the foreground, as it was more muscley than the others. Aureen asked if I thought they were friendly or not so friendly. I said they made me think of Morris Men. I thought I wasn't going to get anywhere, as I just couldn't get anything more from this card, except a little voice saying: Fun, fun, fun, fun. I didn't have a clue as to why I kept getting that. Aureem explained that this card usually represents arguments and/or disagreements. I guess if I'd followed the thought I might have picked up on fun and games, and not in a nice way..... Spirit was obviously going to make me work hard tonight. LOL
Two of Swords: showed a blindfolded woman, facing forward, with her arms crossed over her chest and a sword in each hand. I said that as she was blinfolded I would guess that she's not sure about something. I felt the crossed arms looked slightly defensive, though a sword in each hand showed that she had the means to defend herself. Aureen asked if I could get anything else. I gently stroked the card and pointed to the blindfold and said that as she couldn't see she would have to look within for the answer. Good call, as Aureen explained that the card represented a choice, usually between two paths - the crescent moon on the card represented intuition so, yes, she needed to look within and would find the answer after some reflection.
Seven of Pentacles: a side view of a healthy, mustachioed man holding a hoe, with verdant growth. I said that Pentacles usually referred to money and that he was obviously preparing to reap what he'd sown and that it was a good harvest.
S1's question was: should she look for another job? The first card referred more to her previous job, the others to the current. Overall view: that she should trust her intuition, as she knew what to do, and that after some hard work she would reap the rewards.
S2 read for Sh. Her cards were: Eight of Swords; Eight of Cups; Ace of Cups.

Sh read for S2. Her cards were:  Eight of Wands; Hierophant; ?

Unfortunately it's been so long since this all happened I really can't remember what was said or what else happened. Writing up a post about Tarot reading when I don't have the identical cards to show (or to act as a memory jogger) is very difficult, so I shall be doing this differently in future.

ACUPUNCTURE - THURSDAY 25TH MARCH

Another Thursday and time for another acupuncture session. As the appointment was at 12pm I got up a little later than usual and had a late breakfast.... I didn't want to end up getting really hungry part way through the treatment, as it doesn't make for a relaxing session when your stomach keeps making grumbling noises. LOL

When I arrived at the Clinic Jan was on reception again and definitely looking much more happy and relaxed. She asked how I was doing and my reply was: I like my meds... I'm much calmer and more balanced when I'm on my meds & posed, as if I was meditating. She laughed and said does that mean my DH and DS were safe now, so I told her they no longer felt like they were treading on egg shells...... or rushing to hide the knives and heavy based frying pan. ROFL I also reported that the hot flushes were starting to recede again. Janet popped out of Treatment Room 1 and said she would be ready for me soon.... the previous client was just getting himself sorted, then she went into Room 2 to another client. Whilst Jan and I were chatting the chap came out, made his next appointment, paid and left. I got my phone out and showed Jan the pics of my new baby - she liked the car and said that it looked like I would be all set for travelling to the Shamballah Healing Course in May. Yep, though I would get DH to take me out that way beforehand, so I could get the route fixed in my head - it's ages since we've been out towards her village, so it's a struggle to remember which direction it's in at the moment. She told me the quietest route to travel out, ready for the first trial run. :0)

By this time Janet had gone back through to Room 1 and got it ready, then called me in. Whilst I put my bags down and got my coat off she popped out to have a word with Jan, then came back in. After sitting down she looked right at me and said that this week, before we went any further, she needed to have a serious talk with me. Oh heck, that sounded ominous! LOL She said that she had been to the Pagan Conference in Lincoln at the weekend, going to a very interesting talk on Shamanism and generally reconnecting with aspects of her healing, including meditation.... and had since been meditating at home. She had come to realise that, despite usually having a very high success rate treating menopausal symptoms in many clients, she currently had two clients on her books that didn't seem to be responding as well. I was one of them.

She'd meditated on this and had come to realise that it might be because of her: although she had self-treated herself after her own surgically induced menopause onset, and had been successful in most areas, there were two that she still had problems with: hot flushes and dry skin. The two areas that were still troubling myself and the other lady - the main ones I'd been going to her for. She felt it was a case of "Physician, heal thyself" - until she had either found another acupuncturist to treat her (her previous one had had to retire) or was more proactive in self-treatment, she felt, although treatments would continue to help with hormone balance, she wouldn't get any further in treating me for the flushes and dry skin, so it was my decision as to whether I wanted to carry on with the treatments or stop them.

I thanked her for her honesty - there aren't many people who would be so open, when it comes to losing regular business. I said that, although the treatments didn't seem to be helping with the hot flushes and dry skin, I did feel that they had and were helping me in other areas. Janet had also been adapting the treatments to include the Spiritual element and past issues. I asked her if the previous treatments she'd done to help release past issues would bring old memories to the surface and she confirmed that they would. OK, then that's further proof that it's working: I've been recalling all kinds of old memories, some of them from way back in childhhood, that had been upsetting or annoying or some other negative effect on me. I said when this happened it made me think: Whoa, where the heck did that come from? What had really surprised me was the fact that, despite thinking I'd dealt with a lot of these issues, once recalled they still gave me the same reaction... either getting upset or angry or frustrated, whatever.

Janet explained that although I had dealt with some of the issues, she likeened what I had actually done with others to putting them into individual boxes and carrying them around with me deep in my body. Others I had dealt with, but the negative feelings associated with them were still being carried around too. Occasionally they surface or stay internal and impede the energy flow, both of which result in dis-ease.... she felt that this was contributing to my current psychic block. What she said made sense to me on all kinds of levels, so I said I would like to continue with the treatments... as she's been honest with me I said I would trust her judgement on whether this should continue to be weekly, or drop to fortnightly or monthly. She said she would think on that and let me know what she felt at the end of the session.

She said she knew I would understand what she was saying when she explained it how she did.... but she now had to think of a different way of saying the same thing to the other lady. I think that may mean the other lady isn't into the Spiritual side.... though I do wonder if she may be clairsentient and if that had had a part to play in the lack of success in our treatments. 

Janet then said that some of the things that needed to be dealt with was really old stuff. Yep, some of what I was remembering was from waaay back, and I then went on to tell her about a couple of incidents that had come back to me that week. The first was when I was back in Nursery School and surfaces every so often: it's a distinct memory of being in the cloakroom; all of the kids and teachers were gathered around a table that had a big bowl of soapy water on it and they were using all kinds of things to blow bubbles; I was sat on one of the benches, away from everyone, really wanting to join in but wanting to keep well away from everyone too; I was upset about something that had happened.... though I don't know what. My Dad discovered, when I'd left there and my DBro was attending, that the teachers had a nasty habit of locking kids in a cupboard as a punishment and Dad had challenged them about it. He reckoned they'd done that to me too, though I don't recall it and don't have claustrophobia as a result, as some people go on to develop after such an incident. Obviously they wouldn't get away with such antics these days but this was in the 1960's. Needless to say, Mum and Dad refused to let my DSis attend the nursery.

The other incident had occured when I was about 12 years old, when a boy my DBro knew said some insulting things about me that upset me..... and the reaction my Dad gave, when I got back home in tears. I'd told my Mum and Dad about it and said something along the lines of the boy making me feel very ugly. Dad was no good at dealing with emotional situations... and reacted angrily and as if it was my fault... and followed it up by agreeing that I was ugly, with Mum protesting in the background. Mum had put up with a lot of emotional abuse throughout her childhood, from her Mum and DSis's, and knew the hurt it caused. That had hurt more than what the boy had said and made me even more upset (I don't remember the outcome of all this).... and it had obviously cut deep, as it set me off crying a little. Janet placed her hand over mine and said it was OK - I muttered something about being menopausal not helping things at all - and that she would help me to bring these things out and finally deal with them so they can be let go. She felt that the Shamballah Healing Course would also be of much benefit too, as we would be doing things on releasing and cutting cords and the like.

With that she took my Chinese pulses, then I had to take my shoes and socks off, plus took off my specs and hair scrunchie, so I could get comfortable on the pillows. Janet then said that this week she needed me to lay slightly to the left of the bed, so I could lay my right arm down flat. That was necessary because she wanted to put a needle in my right arm and once it was in I had to keep the arm as still as possible, to allow the energy to flow freely and let the needle do its thing. Once positioned she started to place the needles: around four in the top of my head; one in either wrist; one in the side of my left hand; several around my ankles; the nasty little bugger in the top of my right foot (yep, it gave me another belt); one in my third eye and the final one in my right forearm. I asked about that one: the one in the top of my foot is for the liver and helps release issues - the forearm one does a similar thing but on a much deeper level, thus it will allow the deeper issues to come up and be released and clear any energy blockages.

Janet then said that I was to know that I was perfectly safe in the room and that I could let go, knowing that it was perfectly safe to do so. As I was feeling somewhat warm and clammy at this point (partly menopause, partly upset, partly the warm room) she said she would come back and check on me in fove minutes, to make sure I was OK. Music on, the light off... she left me to relax.

Oddly enough I did start to relax. As promised she came back to check on me - good job, as my feet had started to get cold and the rest of me was cooling rapidly. Out came the thermal silver thingy and I was soon warm again so off she went, leaving me for another 20 minutes of treatment. It was good to see those Chakra colours back again, swirling behind my eyes. :0) Despite the previous upset the relaxation mode continued - surprising really as, with what Janet had said about letting go, I'd half expected all kinds of memories to start bubbling up to the surface with all the attendant emotions. Nope, just a lovely drifty feeling that almost had me nodding off again, making that 20 minutes go awfully quick. LOL

Once back in the room and the light back on Janet asked how I felt. Fine, relaxed and definitely feeling brighter than beforehand. LOL The needles were soon out and the sites dabbed. Once she'd made sure I was OK and I was sat up, she reminded me to take some sips of water before sorting myself out and getting ready to leave. I thanked her and she went off to deal with her next client. I did this, as well as wrapping myself in white light as protection, then got myself sorted and headed out to reception.

The next appointment made and bill paid I said my goodbyes and headed for the door....... and straight into the Hospice Bookshop. Julie, I don't know if someone is clearing their shelves or if they are delivered from elsewhere (they do take in boxes of books from somewhere else) but they've obviously cottoned on to the fact that there's a lot more interest in this type of book, as there always seem to be something of interest in there each time I go in. Lookit at what was there this time:

I came out a very happy bunny. LOL From there I headed down the street, first calling in at the Wilko's style shop (can never remember it's name) and coming out with a new chopping board for the kitchen and a couple of other bits, then into Wilko's where I got a meeting notepad. I had gone in looking for storage boxes but neither shop had anything suitable. I opted not to go round the market as my stomach was letting me know it was dinnertime, so headed back up the High Street, via Tesco Express for a couple of bits, and then home. Once the shopping was put away the stomach got fed. LOL

I was quite tired by then and eventually ended up having an early night. I did wonder if the memory recall would really kick off this week....... but hardly anything has returned to bother me. A result? I guess we shall see, once my next 28 day cycle is up. In the meantim, I have had a couple of vivid dreams, coinciding with the recent full moon, that have had clear messages for me concerning the block. Am hoping there's a chance to mention them to Aureen at the next Circle, to get her take on them and see if I've understood them correctly. Funnily enough, the main dream concerned me moving from the back seat to the front seat of a car.... though a left hand drive - another sign that the Universe has a sense of humour. ;0)