ACUPUNCTURE - 6TH MAY

I was relieved when Thursday came around this week as my left knee had played up badly on Wednesday, even making me wonder  if it was developing bursitis, just like my right one. It didn't help that, as I was limping badly it also affected the calf muscle, the back of my thigh and even into the small of my back. OK, I didn't do the Shamballah healing Course for nothing, so did some Self-healing on Wednesday night - it did improve by Thursday morning, though far from 100%.

I hobbled down the street to the Clinic and very steadily climbed the stairs and was glad to sit down when I reached the top. Thankfully it wasn't long before Janet called me into the treatment room. I told her what the problem was and also briefly discussed Tuesday night's Circle and those fleeting images during the clairvoyance session. It's so good to know that, unlike with most GP's, Janet fully understands and is happy to treat Spiritual problems, as well as physical ones - the beauty of alternative therapies! :0)

This week I had to take off my jeans, as well as socks and shoes and specs and lay on the treatment bed on my front. When I was ready Janet came back in and proceeded to check the extent of the problem by pressing various areas from the small of my back and down my left leg and her conclusion was that if I'd left it much longer I'd probably go on to develop sciatica. Nope, definitely do NOT want that, so please treat whatever needs treating says I. This led to her applying needles to: the small of back (two or three, can't remember); several down the left buttock; quite a few more dotted along the channels down the thigh and calf; the usual hormone ones in my ankles; the ones in the tops of each foot; also several in my wrists and back of hands and the single one in my third eye Chakra. Did I feel like a rather full pincushion this time around! LOL It was interesting to note that quite a few of the needles barely registered as they went in.... several gave me a pinprick sensation and a couple more gave me a right belt, whilst the third eye one gave me the slightly whoozy "must close my eyes" sensation. I now realise that the ones that give me a right belt are the ones that are needed the most, as the Qi is strongly reacting to the needle - a moment's discomfort for a great deal of benefit, so it's well worth putting up with. But I never know which ones will have the strongest reaction, so it's a bit like playing Russian Roulette... with needles instead of bullets. LOL

I can't remember if I laid on my front or side for this session. I do know that laying on my front isn't comfortable for the full legth of a treatment though and isn't something I'd want to repeat in a hurry... not without some extra padding round the face hole in the bed..... and some for my poor boobs! Laying on my side is better, providing the upper leg is supported by the bolster cushion, otherwise that gets really uncomfortable after a while. Yes, I'm spoilt - I'm used to a comfort foam and sprung mattress that moulds to my body when I lay on my bed.... and there's a lot less extra padding on my bones these days too. Not that I'm complaining about that! LOL The most relaxing treatments are definitely those when I can lay on my back.
When the treatemnt time was up and Janet came in to take out the needles we talked a little about the Shamballah course and I mentioned the feeling of sadness I felt wash over me when I thanked Wayne and hugged him on that final day, just as I was leaving - sometimes being clairsentient has its drawbacks and picking up on other people's emotions can be disturbing when you're unprepared (yes, I should have ensured protection was in place but I was in lovely surroundings and with people I liked, so didn't think it was necessary). On the final day we'd all pulled a card from his Ascended Masters oracle card pack and Janet's had been the  "Go Now" card - that had unsettled her (mine had been White Buffalo Calf Woman - again the NA influence creeps in). I guess it's something she needs to look at more deeply and understand why. Once the needles were all out she left me to get dressed again, with the usual admonition to take some sips of water before venturing out of the room.

As I sat up I realised the ache in my back had gone and as I made my way over to my jeans also realised that the knee was hardly bothering me at all and the calf and thigh just had that slightly bruised feeling you get when you've been walking awkwardly to compensate for a gimp knee. Another fab result. As I told G when I went out to reception: I certainly wouldn't be up to doing the hop, skip and jump any time soon but the difference was great - I hobbled in but I'd be walking out. :0)

After thanking Janet again, making my next appointment and paying my dues I headed down the stairs and along the street to my favourite shop once again. There were some more books in there again just begging to come home with me:

I'm looking forward to reading the Jane Boleyn book. She's one of those characters from history that I have mixed feelings about, so it'll be interesting to get another perspective on her and the happenings she was involved with during Henry VIII's fateful marriages to Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard.
Not sure what else I did after this - no notes!

ACUPUNCTURE - 29TH APRIL

Would you believe, I've actually made a few notes on this session, though not about what was treated, which I can't remember.

I do remember that G was on reception. She said that the Shamballah Healing Course, which she'd also been on, had seemed to really boost her energy levels and she'd finally started to tackle the long needed sort out of her box room. She'd been going through many of her books in there and had found some she thought I might be interested in and asked if I would like them:

I don't have them in my collection, so I said I would love to read them... they're certainly something I'm interested in. LOL She didn't want them back and wouldn't take anything for them, so I thanked her hugely... and am so glad I decided to stitch the picture of her Power Animal for her. :0) I promised her that, when I'd read them, I would bring them into Circle to offer up to the others, to see if they would like to read them too.

During the acupuncture treatment (I was laid on my back, so I know the hormones and knees would have needles in them - no idea what else) the name Jean came to me. I asked if it was Joan, as I have an Aunt of that name in Spirit, but no, it was definitely Jean. My next thought was of Janet's Grandma. I also got an image that was possibly of mountains but I wasn't sure, as it wasn't quite clear enough. When Janet came back in at the end of the treatment I asked if the name Jean meant anything to her.... she was a relative of her Grandma's. She thought maybe her Grandma's sister but wasn't really sure... her Grandma had had a falling out with her and others from her family which meant Janet hadn't had anything to do with them, so didn't know much about them. I think she said they lived somewhere in Scotland, hence the mountains. I was quite pleased at this hit, especially as things at Circle had been a bit hit and miss lately! LOL Janet was pleased to know her Grandma had been around again. :0)

After the acupuncture treatment (whatever it was on LOL) I paid my usual visit to the Hospice Bookshop. Yes, I know - had already scored two books but still couldn't resist going looking for more! What can I say.... I'm a bit of a book addict. Here's what I found this time:

Now tell me it wasn't so worth going in there! ROFL I thought I may already have the Melody book but decided to take it anyway... they rarely come up, they cost an arm and a leg to buy at Mind, Body and Spirit events (I've recently seen someone asking £60.00 for a hardback version!), it was a bargain at £3.00... and I knew someone who would love it, if I did already have it.

I asked the lady in there if I could leave the bag of books behind the counter whilst I went to do a little shopping and pick them up on my way home and she said OK. I think I just headed to Wilko's, not bothering with the market, then headed back. It was a relief to get home and drop those bags, I can tell you! LOL

I checked my book stash when I got upstairs and discovered that I did have the Melody book already. No problem.... I plan on taking it to Circle with me next week, to gift to another crystal fan. :0)

REIKI - 17TH APRIL

I felt well ready for this month's Reiki session. Although I'd felt much calmer on leaving the Clinic after my acupuncture the occasional down session started coming through again on Friday.

Jan was the receptionist today, though I didn't have much time for a natter before Aureen called me into Treatment Room 2. As I was putting my bag down and taking off my coat Aureen asked how I was. I told her about my reaction to G's news, the upset, the acupuncture treatment, the special dates (birthday and anniversary) and how I was feeling then. I was still feeling emotional, as I got upset a bit again, and then a little cross with myself. As I said to her: with my beliefs about the afterlife, and the proof I've had, why am I still grieving? Her answer was simple: because I miss their physical presence. She then explained that hanging on isn't letting them progress to the next level and I said I knew that and it was another cause of frustration and anger with myself, as I don't want to be the cause of holding them back.

Aureen said that she would perform psychic surgery again, as it seemed she hadn't got it all previously.... and perhaps some of it had grown back. With that I had taken off all my jewellery (bar my crystal pieces) shoes, specs and scrunchie and got on the treatment bed, where Aureen covered me up with the blanket.

Soon after starting the treatment Aureen asked me which Chakra it was in and immediately I said heart, as I'd thought this even before she'd asked. She asked what it looked like: a ball of wool, but not the neat and tidy ones you buy from the shop - this was more like those untidy, self-wound balls of yarn that go in all directions. I thought that was it but then said that I felt that some of the tendrils from it were reaching into my throat Chakra too, as I couldn't always talk about some of it (certainly not to my DSis). When she asked me what colour it was I was initially unsure and said so, then I could clearly see it: it was mostly black, but shot through with red and told her that the red was for anger. She said it was OK, to just relax now, as she had called on Archangels Rafael and Michael and they were there helping.

Part way through the session I could feel tears start to trickle down my cheeks and I brushed them away. Aureen stopped long enough to hand me a tissue, then carried on. a while after, when the tears had stopped, I heard Aureen's voice telling me that it was alright and my heart Chakra was being filled with lots of pink light: I knew this, as I could see it swirling behind my eyelids - not the usual vivid pink, a gentler colour, along with lots of spring green (the Chakra colour). I could feel myself become more and more relaxed as the session went on and was almost on the point of zoning out into sleep when it ended.

Aureen gently touched me on the shoulder and asked if I was OK. I said I didn't have that definite feeling of something having been removed, as I did previously, but I did have the same shell-shocked sensation, a sure sign of what she had been doing. She told me that she had removed it, pulling out the tendrils from my throat, and that it had been extremely heavy - this she had passed over the Archangels Michael and Rafael, for them to take up into the Universe and transform it, whilst she then filled everywhere with pink light. I told her about seeing this and also that I had seen my Mum and Dad's faces.... and that I had said goodbye to them. She was pleased this had happened and that I'd been able to do this. She then told me she'd seen my Guide. I told her that I knew he had been there, as I'd seen him too: this time he had been wearing the moccasins and leggings I'd seen him in previously but this time he'd appeared to be bare-chested, apart from a beaded breastplate; I'd seen his face a little more qucily before seeing his dark hair in a single braid; instead of the full eagle feather bonnet on his head there were two feathers.... and as soon as I saw them I heard the words Two Feathers repeated three times. Aureen smiled and said: well now you know his name. So my Spirit Guide is called Two Feathers. :0)

Aureen then told me that she had been really surprised because when she'd seen my Guide he'd spoken to her. He'd said: My daughter is not just grieving for her parent's in this lifetime, my daughter also grieves for her parent's in another lifetime. He then told her that I'd had a previous life as a Native American.... and during that life I'd witnessed my parent's being killed in front of me. I'd carried the trauma of that over with me into this incarnation, so when my Mum and Dad died it had triggered the previous loss and that was why I am grieving so hard.... and why it feels like a part of me died when they did. She told me that, as well as doing the psychic surgery removal she had also rescued that part of me.

As I listened it felt as if several things clicked into place. I told her that it just seemed to make sense, and that it also explained a couple of things from my childhood. Whenever I was swinging on a swing I always imagined myself, and clearly saw the mental image, of myself as a Native American girl galloping on a pinto pony across a wide open plain - I later put this down to a good imagination but now wonder if it had been an actual past life memory. If ever we watched cowboy films and there was an attack on a Native American village I would get really indignant and say it was so wrong... I was always on the side of the NA's. Then there would be the state I would get into if I ever thought about my parent's dying. Yes, children do go through a phase of thinking about this but this was more than that and I would get into a real panic about it..... until I eventually learnt to block it out. It seemed to confirm a few things for Aureen, as she nodded. It also explains why the previous psychic surgeries haven't fully excised everything and why it keeps building up again.

What she said next gave me pause for thought: she would have to perform psychic surgery on me again during my next session. This time she would treat the past life trauma and heal it, as it was still affecting this lifetime, and to ensure that I don't carry it over with me into any future incarnations. OK, I understand the need for this.... but flippin' heck, the psychic surgery I've been through for this lifetime's problems have been pretty heavy - goodness knows what that is going to be like!

By this time I'd had a few sips of water and felt up to moving, so I climbed off the bed and started putting my bits and pieces back on and Aureen recommended that I take it easy for the rest of the day and have a lie down at some point. It was almost time for her next client, so I gathered everything together, thanked her and went out to reception. Jan took me into Treatment Room 1 for a chat. I told her what had been revealed by the session.... and she told me about her own past life memory and how her father from that lifetime had become her Guide. We discussed how the menopause treatment was going and I asked if she could make up some more of the herbal mix for me, as I was finding that the combination of the herbal mix and acupuncture was, in the main, working well together - I get the occasional glitch when I'm not feeling well or if I haven't had soya milk daily... and spicey foods can trigger a few flushes too. As she made up my mix we chatted a little about the upcoming Healing Course and, as it was being held in her home and Jan was feeding us each lunchtime, she double-checked what I could and couldn't eat, so I told her that I was still basically doing the Candida diet, as it suited me so well.

When the mix was ready I made my next appointment and paid my dues, thanked her and left. I didn't bother with anything else but went straight home... to an empty house, as DH and DS were out. After I'd had a quick bite to eat and sat looking through a magazine I soon realised that the recommendation to have a lie down was more of a necessity. Just as I was heading up the stairs my DH arrived home. After a quick hello and chat about what he'd been doing and what had happened with Reiki he soon realised I was struggling, so he helped me upstairs and made sure I settled OK, then left me to sleep..... for two solid hours.

A bit later, as we were sat eating our Saturday night take-out curry, I told DH that, about a month or so after my op, I'd got the sensation of not feeling quite right: beforehand I'd been buzzing with energy, getting lots done and, mostly, quite positive but afterwards.... well, I was certainly more subdued, been taking life really seriously and just didn't quite feel like "me". I felt that hadn't got anything to do with the missing ovaries and lack of monthlies, as I was glad to see them go and stop causing me problems..... I'd been looking forward to menopause and finally embracing my Crone years. Whilst I still didn't quite get the feeling of having had something removed during the psychic surgery I could now sense that something had changed and felt I was more like the real "me". He said that I certainly seemed a lot calmer than recently, though often was after Reiki.

I guess only time will tell as to whether or not it has made a real difference. :0)

ACUPUNCTURE - 15TH APRIL

This week had been a bit of an up and down one: G's news about her DH on Tuesday night seemed to have triggered quite a few things for me.... added to which was the fact that this month would see my Dad's birthday on the 27th and the anniversary of his passing on the following day. Odd, how you can go along feeling fine and thinking that everything has been dealt with... only to be knocked flat on your ass by something that's happening to someone else.

When I got to the Clinic G was on reception, so I asked her how she was feeling now and her reply was better. We didn't have long to chat though, as Janet was ready for me to go through to the treatment room.

She asked me how things had been going, though I could tell by the beady look she gave me that she had spotted something wrong with my Qi and it was a leading question. LOL I told her about G telling us her news and how it had upset me. It wasn't just for the fact that it had triggered off memories of Dad and what he'd gone through.... having been through the awful time with Dad I knew just what was in store for G and she's such a lovely person that the thought of her going through it was upsetting too. I cried some as I told Janet about it all, then said: But I'd been doing so well.

Janet then said that grief didn't have a set pattern and that it was actually still not all that long a time since I lost my parents, especially my Dad, so it was understandable that G's news would act as a trigger. She also reminded me of the boxes analogy: some issues have obviously been boxed up, rather than dealt with, whilst others have left a residue in my Qi that needs to be moved on and released. She said she would do a treatment that would help this to happen, along with the usual hormonal balancing one.

With that she left the room whilst I took my shoes, socks, cardigan and top off and got laid on the treatment bed. When she came back in I apologised and told her that, in the upset, I'd forgotten to mention that my left knee had been feeling a tad arthritic on and off all week too, sometimes making me limp, so she said she would do something for that too. So this time I had needles in: the left and right sides of my left kneecap (fleshy area); the regular ones around both ankles; in the liver meridians in the top of each foot (ouch! they gave me a big jump this time - a sure sign of the upset); the one in my third eye; one in my right ear; a couple in each hand and extra ones in my upper chest area, between my boobs and a little higher. Some of them made me feel a little woozy when they went in..... another sign that they were moving the energies. After covering me with the turkey roasting blankets, putting the relaxation music on and turning out the light she told me that I was in a totally safe environment and that it was OK to let everything go. I thanked her and she went out.

Well something definitely moved around because as soon as the woozy sensation eased I started to blub again... though it was a gentle release. Unfortunately I couldn't get a tissue out of my pocket because of the needles in my hands. I was glad when Janet popped back in a few minutes later, to see how I was - she gave me a tissue, asked if I was OK and when I said I would be, she left me to go through the rest of the treatment.

Once I'd mopped myself up I started to feel better, began to feel calmer and relaxed and began to drift quite nicely. When Janet came back into the room at the end of the session I almost jumped... as I told her, another five minutes and I'd have been asleep! She seemed quite pleased with that and the fact that I was obviously much calmer. After removing the needles I thanked her and told her that I was feeling much better. She left me to get dressed, reminding me to drink some water before coming out of the treatment room.

After getting up, getting dressed and drinking some water I realised that the ache in my knee had gone and the joint was moving more freely. Another great result! When I was ready I went out to reception to make my next appointment and pay. Once the other client had been taken through to the other treatment room there was a chance to chat with G. She said she felt she was dealing better with the news now, though had felt a little angry after the upset: I said that it was perfectly natural to feel that way, as you go from thinking that there's hope (whilst treatment after the initial diagnosis is ongoing) to having it snatched away when hearing the terminal verdict and that it seems to trigger a kind of grieving process. We chatted for a little longer, then another client came in, so we said our goodbyes until the following Tuesday.

I left pleased that, despite the intial upset before my treatment, that I had been calm enough to be able to talk to G and let her offload a little.... and hoped that some of what we'd talked about had helped her. I know that having someone to talk to who had been there would have helped me through when Dad was having treatment and, ultimately, dying (and probably have helped with the aftermath too) but that opportunity hadn't been there - his MacMillan nurse hadn't been there for him, let alone his family, and there was no one else I knew locally. Knowing you're not alone is so important in these situations.

Afterwards I had a quick look in the Hospice bookshop but I didn't find anything. I decided against going to the market or the shops, in the circumstances, and headed home for a herbal tea and a much-needed chill out.

ACUPUNCTURE - 8TH APRIL

Sorry, I've left writing this post for far too long to remember much detail on what happened.

I did mention to Janet that I seemed to be having a problem with my left leg, finding that in Circle it regularly tenses up, especially during meditations...... though lately I was finding that it would even tense up big time whilst I was just sat at the computer at home. It was obviously becoming a bit of a nuisance. She said that this week she would need me to remove my jeans and lay face down on the bed, so she could treat the back of the leg, as well as using the regular needles around my ankles for the hormonal balancing. She removed the pillow from the treatment bed, ripped a small hole in the covering where there was a hole in the bed, and explained that usually the most comfortable way to be treated this way up was to lay with my face through the hole and then place my arms either down by my sides or curving around my head, whichever I felt happiest doing. She then left the room whilst I got myself ready, laid on the bed and covered myself with the towel.

On returning, and after washing her hands, Janet proceeded to press certain points along the back of my leg and on my left buttock - one particular area on the buttock was definitely sensitive: not painful but certainly not comfortable. Janet said that there was definitely a problem there (she did tell me what and with which muscle but I can't remember the details) and that, if left, it would probably develop into sciatica. OK, I don't want that... treat away. LOL

She then said that she would have to roll my pants down a little so she could place the needles where they needed to be and asked if that was OK and I said yes..... though the thought of someone seeing all that cellulite made me cringe a tad. LOL She then placed needles in the small of my back, in my left buttock where it had been uncomfortable and down my leg along the muscle associated with it, as well as the usual ones around both ankles. If I remember rightly, she also placed the usual ones in my wrists and hands too. She then covered me with the silver thermal blankets (always makes me think of an oven ready turkey! LOL), put on the relaxing music, turned out the light and left me to relax.

Relax? Hhhhmmm, that was a little easier said than done. Laying with my face through the hole put pressure on certain areas on my face after a while and got uncomfortable and having my arms by my side seemed to make it worse.... but then my neck would ache if I propped my head on my arms, then my arms started to ache if I had them above my head for a change. Nope, not the comfiest or most relaxing session I've ever had, by far, and I was relieved when Janet came back in to remove the needles. Despite this something definitely happened to my left leg, as it would occasionally keep tensing up and relaxing through the treatment and it felt much more relaxed afterwards. It barely bothers me now, except when I'm in Circle (will explain that in another post) and I haven't had to have it treated again since. :0)

After removal of the needles Janet left me to get dressed and take the usual sips of water. When I was ready it was out to reception to pay and make my next appointment. I think I made my way straight home after this session, as it was later than usual and the market would have been on the point of closing.

ACUPUNCTURE - 1ST APRIL

I'm afraid I've left writing about this session for so long that I'm struggling to remember much about it at all. So much for being organised and keeping up-to-date! LOL

I was pleased to report to Janet that I had felt much calmer and the instances of past issue recall had dwindled greatly.... and those things that did occasionally surface weren't upsetting me at all. That was a great improvement. :0)

I had some needles in my belly this time, as well as the usual hormone ones at my ankles and it was a very relaxing session. Afterwards I made an appointment for the following week. By the time I got out and down to the market the bulk of the stalls had already closed, including the craft stall. I didn't hang around but headed home, calling in at a couple of shops on the way back up the High Street.

I did get two good buys though: another Jacky Newcombe book, this time about psychic kids and their Angelic encounters, from the Hospice Bookshop and a scroll frame from the Hospice Charity shop. The frame was only 50p due to having a nut and wingnut bolt missing.... easily replaced, as my DH is sure to have something suitable tucked away in his workshop somewhere. :0)

ACUPUNCTURE - THURSDAY 25TH MARCH

Another Thursday and time for another acupuncture session. As the appointment was at 12pm I got up a little later than usual and had a late breakfast.... I didn't want to end up getting really hungry part way through the treatment, as it doesn't make for a relaxing session when your stomach keeps making grumbling noises. LOL

When I arrived at the Clinic Jan was on reception again and definitely looking much more happy and relaxed. She asked how I was doing and my reply was: I like my meds... I'm much calmer and more balanced when I'm on my meds & posed, as if I was meditating. She laughed and said does that mean my DH and DS were safe now, so I told her they no longer felt like they were treading on egg shells...... or rushing to hide the knives and heavy based frying pan. ROFL I also reported that the hot flushes were starting to recede again. Janet popped out of Treatment Room 1 and said she would be ready for me soon.... the previous client was just getting himself sorted, then she went into Room 2 to another client. Whilst Jan and I were chatting the chap came out, made his next appointment, paid and left. I got my phone out and showed Jan the pics of my new baby - she liked the car and said that it looked like I would be all set for travelling to the Shamballah Healing Course in May. Yep, though I would get DH to take me out that way beforehand, so I could get the route fixed in my head - it's ages since we've been out towards her village, so it's a struggle to remember which direction it's in at the moment. She told me the quietest route to travel out, ready for the first trial run. :0)

By this time Janet had gone back through to Room 1 and got it ready, then called me in. Whilst I put my bags down and got my coat off she popped out to have a word with Jan, then came back in. After sitting down she looked right at me and said that this week, before we went any further, she needed to have a serious talk with me. Oh heck, that sounded ominous! LOL She said that she had been to the Pagan Conference in Lincoln at the weekend, going to a very interesting talk on Shamanism and generally reconnecting with aspects of her healing, including meditation.... and had since been meditating at home. She had come to realise that, despite usually having a very high success rate treating menopausal symptoms in many clients, she currently had two clients on her books that didn't seem to be responding as well. I was one of them.

She'd meditated on this and had come to realise that it might be because of her: although she had self-treated herself after her own surgically induced menopause onset, and had been successful in most areas, there were two that she still had problems with: hot flushes and dry skin. The two areas that were still troubling myself and the other lady - the main ones I'd been going to her for. She felt it was a case of "Physician, heal thyself" - until she had either found another acupuncturist to treat her (her previous one had had to retire) or was more proactive in self-treatment, she felt, although treatments would continue to help with hormone balance, she wouldn't get any further in treating me for the flushes and dry skin, so it was my decision as to whether I wanted to carry on with the treatments or stop them.

I thanked her for her honesty - there aren't many people who would be so open, when it comes to losing regular business. I said that, although the treatments didn't seem to be helping with the hot flushes and dry skin, I did feel that they had and were helping me in other areas. Janet had also been adapting the treatments to include the Spiritual element and past issues. I asked her if the previous treatments she'd done to help release past issues would bring old memories to the surface and she confirmed that they would. OK, then that's further proof that it's working: I've been recalling all kinds of old memories, some of them from way back in childhhood, that had been upsetting or annoying or some other negative effect on me. I said when this happened it made me think: Whoa, where the heck did that come from? What had really surprised me was the fact that, despite thinking I'd dealt with a lot of these issues, once recalled they still gave me the same reaction... either getting upset or angry or frustrated, whatever.

Janet explained that although I had dealt with some of the issues, she likeened what I had actually done with others to putting them into individual boxes and carrying them around with me deep in my body. Others I had dealt with, but the negative feelings associated with them were still being carried around too. Occasionally they surface or stay internal and impede the energy flow, both of which result in dis-ease.... she felt that this was contributing to my current psychic block. What she said made sense to me on all kinds of levels, so I said I would like to continue with the treatments... as she's been honest with me I said I would trust her judgement on whether this should continue to be weekly, or drop to fortnightly or monthly. She said she would think on that and let me know what she felt at the end of the session.

She said she knew I would understand what she was saying when she explained it how she did.... but she now had to think of a different way of saying the same thing to the other lady. I think that may mean the other lady isn't into the Spiritual side.... though I do wonder if she may be clairsentient and if that had had a part to play in the lack of success in our treatments. 

Janet then said that some of the things that needed to be dealt with was really old stuff. Yep, some of what I was remembering was from waaay back, and I then went on to tell her about a couple of incidents that had come back to me that week. The first was when I was back in Nursery School and surfaces every so often: it's a distinct memory of being in the cloakroom; all of the kids and teachers were gathered around a table that had a big bowl of soapy water on it and they were using all kinds of things to blow bubbles; I was sat on one of the benches, away from everyone, really wanting to join in but wanting to keep well away from everyone too; I was upset about something that had happened.... though I don't know what. My Dad discovered, when I'd left there and my DBro was attending, that the teachers had a nasty habit of locking kids in a cupboard as a punishment and Dad had challenged them about it. He reckoned they'd done that to me too, though I don't recall it and don't have claustrophobia as a result, as some people go on to develop after such an incident. Obviously they wouldn't get away with such antics these days but this was in the 1960's. Needless to say, Mum and Dad refused to let my DSis attend the nursery.

The other incident had occured when I was about 12 years old, when a boy my DBro knew said some insulting things about me that upset me..... and the reaction my Dad gave, when I got back home in tears. I'd told my Mum and Dad about it and said something along the lines of the boy making me feel very ugly. Dad was no good at dealing with emotional situations... and reacted angrily and as if it was my fault... and followed it up by agreeing that I was ugly, with Mum protesting in the background. Mum had put up with a lot of emotional abuse throughout her childhood, from her Mum and DSis's, and knew the hurt it caused. That had hurt more than what the boy had said and made me even more upset (I don't remember the outcome of all this).... and it had obviously cut deep, as it set me off crying a little. Janet placed her hand over mine and said it was OK - I muttered something about being menopausal not helping things at all - and that she would help me to bring these things out and finally deal with them so they can be let go. She felt that the Shamballah Healing Course would also be of much benefit too, as we would be doing things on releasing and cutting cords and the like.

With that she took my Chinese pulses, then I had to take my shoes and socks off, plus took off my specs and hair scrunchie, so I could get comfortable on the pillows. Janet then said that this week she needed me to lay slightly to the left of the bed, so I could lay my right arm down flat. That was necessary because she wanted to put a needle in my right arm and once it was in I had to keep the arm as still as possible, to allow the energy to flow freely and let the needle do its thing. Once positioned she started to place the needles: around four in the top of my head; one in either wrist; one in the side of my left hand; several around my ankles; the nasty little bugger in the top of my right foot (yep, it gave me another belt); one in my third eye and the final one in my right forearm. I asked about that one: the one in the top of my foot is for the liver and helps release issues - the forearm one does a similar thing but on a much deeper level, thus it will allow the deeper issues to come up and be released and clear any energy blockages.

Janet then said that I was to know that I was perfectly safe in the room and that I could let go, knowing that it was perfectly safe to do so. As I was feeling somewhat warm and clammy at this point (partly menopause, partly upset, partly the warm room) she said she would come back and check on me in fove minutes, to make sure I was OK. Music on, the light off... she left me to relax.

Oddly enough I did start to relax. As promised she came back to check on me - good job, as my feet had started to get cold and the rest of me was cooling rapidly. Out came the thermal silver thingy and I was soon warm again so off she went, leaving me for another 20 minutes of treatment. It was good to see those Chakra colours back again, swirling behind my eyes. :0) Despite the previous upset the relaxation mode continued - surprising really as, with what Janet had said about letting go, I'd half expected all kinds of memories to start bubbling up to the surface with all the attendant emotions. Nope, just a lovely drifty feeling that almost had me nodding off again, making that 20 minutes go awfully quick. LOL

Once back in the room and the light back on Janet asked how I felt. Fine, relaxed and definitely feeling brighter than beforehand. LOL The needles were soon out and the sites dabbed. Once she'd made sure I was OK and I was sat up, she reminded me to take some sips of water before sorting myself out and getting ready to leave. I thanked her and she went off to deal with her next client. I did this, as well as wrapping myself in white light as protection, then got myself sorted and headed out to reception.

The next appointment made and bill paid I said my goodbyes and headed for the door....... and straight into the Hospice Bookshop. Julie, I don't know if someone is clearing their shelves or if they are delivered from elsewhere (they do take in boxes of books from somewhere else) but they've obviously cottoned on to the fact that there's a lot more interest in this type of book, as there always seem to be something of interest in there each time I go in. Lookit at what was there this time:

I came out a very happy bunny. LOL From there I headed down the street, first calling in at the Wilko's style shop (can never remember it's name) and coming out with a new chopping board for the kitchen and a couple of other bits, then into Wilko's where I got a meeting notepad. I had gone in looking for storage boxes but neither shop had anything suitable. I opted not to go round the market as my stomach was letting me know it was dinnertime, so headed back up the High Street, via Tesco Express for a couple of bits, and then home. Once the shopping was put away the stomach got fed. LOL

I was quite tired by then and eventually ended up having an early night. I did wonder if the memory recall would really kick off this week....... but hardly anything has returned to bother me. A result? I guess we shall see, once my next 28 day cycle is up. In the meantim, I have had a couple of vivid dreams, coinciding with the recent full moon, that have had clear messages for me concerning the block. Am hoping there's a chance to mention them to Aureen at the next Circle, to get her take on them and see if I've understood them correctly. Funnily enough, the main dream concerned me moving from the back seat to the front seat of a car.... though a left hand drive - another sign that the Universe has a sense of humour. ;0)

REIKI - 20TH MARCH

Saturday started out a little hectic as I'd asked DH if we could go to the Harlequin Office Furniture place in the morning, to see if they had anything suitable for storage in my Craft Room, as they were only open until 12pm. As usual, when we need to be somewhere in a hurry DH continued to operate on a totally different time zone to everyone else. LOL We made it there about 20 minutes before they were about to close. A young chap came to find out what we were looking for and what it was for: some kind of storage unit and a filing cabinet to go in my Craft Room. He showed us various cabinet type units with doors on but they weren't right. He showed us the filing cabinets and explained a bit about each. The budget version looked OK but the drawers were shorter than the cabinet..... what's the point in that? As I pointed out, the room is small and I need to maximise the storage space to make sure I can get everything in there that needs to go in. He showed us a different one, a nice silver colour with 4 full depth drawers - that was definitely the one.... of course it was a bit more expensive than the other one, wasn't it! He then showed us some sturdy bookcases that have adjustable shelves - they stock extra shelves, so I can get more when I decide how many I need. DH wrote down all the measuremenets and other details so we could have a measure up at home and work out where they'll go. The same place can also supply some rubber rollers for my computer chair, which are much quieter and better for rolling on laminate flooring.... much cheaper than buying a new chair and they'll fit them for us if we take the old chair in. The upshot: the items I want are all carried in stock so, once ordered and paid for, they can arrange a delivery slot and they will even put it all up and place it where it's wanted. How good is that? We came away from there quite happy with what we'd seen and found out. :0)

From there we had to go straight home so I could get some dinner and then get ready to go for my Reiki session. Of course the weather was a tad wet when it was time for me to walk down the street - good job I bought a new kagoul last year. LOL

When I arrived at the Clinic it was to find Jan was being the Receptionist. I asked how she was doing - she certainly looked better and seemed far less fraught than last time... and sounded it, too. The move is suiting her very much and she's settling in nicely to her new home. She asked how I'd been doing so I told her that the last few days hadn't been so great: I'd run out of the herbal mix a while ago and had decided to see how I went without it, relying on the acupuncture, rejigging my diet a little and some supplements that included red clover leaf extract capsules I'd bought from Julian Graves some time ago. My 28 day cycle had been on the Thursday: I'd felt great after acupuncture but by the evening I'd felt a tad fraught.... and had felt really fraught Friday and into Saturday. She asked what I meant by fraught: well, don't leave any sharp implements near me... or blunt ones, for that matter - DS had been giving me some attitude Friday night and I told him he had better just shut his mouth or I'd be over to sort him out. If it hadn't been for having my tray on my lap at the time I would probably have been over there and done a laying on of hands.... and it wouldn't have had anything to do with healing. LOL The feisty moods had been interspersed with really low sessions, not helped by the flushes and night sweats being a real bugger. I told her that what I'd been doing just wasn't enough, that I'd felt much more balanced whilst on the herbal med, with the flushes and sweats being barely noticeable...... obviously it was something in the combination of ingredients within the mix that worked for me. It was worth the little experiment, to find out, but I'd had enough - I wanted that balance back. LOL Jan was quite pleased with that and said that she'd love to have some feedback from me, when I am in again next Thursday, on how I am feeling then because, if I have settled down again, it means she might just have found a really good combination that could help some of the other women she's treating for menopausal symptoms. I said I'd let her know. She didn't have time to mix the med then as I was due to go into Treatment Room 1 (where her dispensary is) for Reiki and she had someone booked in for a colonic and they should be arriving shortly. She asked if I could go back at 3.30pm when she would have finished and I said that was fine. As she was going to be busy when I came out the next appointment was arranged and I paid for this session.

Aureen was now ready for me, so off I trotted. Aureen then asked how I'd been doing so I gave her a potted version of what I'd told Jan. I also told her about the postponed pick up of my new car, thanks to DH not getting the insurance sorted in time, and how disappointed I'd been about that and feeling generally fed-up. She said there was obviously a reason the pick up not happening yet. Yep, I know, which is why I didn't get really upset about it, but if it had just been the one thing I'd probably have been fine.... but there have been quite a few niggling things that have all come at once..... and I'm so obviously menopausal at the moment. I didn't need to say more: she knew exactly what was meant, as she's been through it already and hadn't had a good time with it. So, as there was lots of tension and I was feeling out of balance she decided to concentrate on relaxation and easing of the tension during this session. I took off all my jewellery, hair scrunchie, shoes and specs and got onto the bed so the treatment could begin.

If I've learnt anything from these Reiki sessions it's that you can never guess how it will develop or what will happen, as no two are ever the same. It took me a little longer to settle into the session this time, mostly due to the inward tension but also because there was quite a bit of noise outside, on the High Street, but thankfully the worst of that soon faded into the background. This time I wasn't really aware of many of the Chakra colours swirling behind my eyes but what I did really notice was the energy from Aureen's hands every time she placed them up near my head: it was much more noticeable than usual and was sort of a cross between a buzz and a tingle, just on the edge of hearing.

At the end of the session she said my name and asked how I felt and had I picked anything up? Chamomile, I said. Towards the end of the session that word came to me and it was so forceful I almost said it out loud. She asked what I thought it meant. Well, I've been feeling fraught and I've got some Chamomile herbal tea at home but hadn't been drinking much of it lately - Doh! Aureen said it seemed like my body was letting me know what it needed - yep, and I shall certainly start drinking it more often.
She asked if I'd been aware of any colours this time, as she'd been really aware of blues and purples, almost sparking from her hands. No, not really, and even though I usually see the Chakra colours quite vividly I hadn't really been aware of those this time either, it seemed more of a sensing/feeling session. I told her about feeling the energy buzz/tingle from her hands very strongly and that I'd also felt slight hot and cold sensations around my body but not like obvious changes in exterior temperature, more subtle and, again, more like energy shifts through my body that felt like something was being gently pulled through it. I'd felt this the most when she worked on my Crown Chakra and compared it to opening my Chakras but in reverse. My feet tingled for a while after the final grounding too.
I'd initially seen Angel images. When I see these in my minds eye they are usually quite basic in shape: a head and neck with a long, thin "gowned" body and swept back wings, usually they are all fractal light (sometimes bright light, sometimes like a stained glass window) - this time I just saw the head and wings shapes in silhouette, enough to make me aware of them and then they were gone. I also saw the head of an old lady who had white curly hair but I didn't see her for long enough to make out more of her facial features - I could only tell Aureen that she wasn't my Mum..... and I didn't know who she was. I got the name George again, which is definitely linked to her, and I saw a man's face: dark hair and a dark moustache... again too fleeting to get much more detail, so I didn't mention him.
Aureen told me that she'd found that both my sacral and solar plexus Chakras had been quite flat when she started working on them but had sorted them out and I told her that could explain why I'd recently been having difficulty visualising the orange of the sacral Chakra - the yellow of the Solar plexus had been a tad insipid too.
From about half way through the session there were times when I just didn't know where Aureen was. Sometimes it was due to my feeling another pair of hands working on me in a different area.... sometimes I couldn't feel her hands at all and I couldn't sense where she was, almost as if I'd been left on my own - that was the weirdest sensation ever. Aureen then told me that part way through the session she had opened her eyes and looked at her hands.... and saw a tiny pair of female hands laid over hers - I said Deidra? But she said no, they were definitely adult hands, just very small and pointed to her middle knuckle area - very small hands, then. Maybe they belonged to the white haired lady whose face I saw? 

I sat up and made my way to the chair by the consulting desk so I could start putting my things back on and take some sips of water and where Aureen kept her file (she keeps notes in there - not sure what specifically, though feel it may be similar to the notebook that her Guides told me to keep). Jan tapped at the door and asked if it was OK to come in - her colonic guy hadn't turned up (which she suspected might happen), so she could come and make up my herbal med mix now, rather than having to go back later.

Aureen asked if, when having a Reiki session, I felt I was letting go of things. I can't say as I'd been aware of letting go of anything more than the tension this time.... and compared it to the times when she'd performed psychic surgery - now those times I definitely felt and knew something had gone. I felt this session was more about sorting out the tension and getting me back on an even keel, and I certainly felt much more relaxed than when I'd first walked in.... and we spoke about the chamomile thing coming to me again and how that will help keep me calm. Jan piped up from her dispensing area and said: funnily enough, I'm just adding that to your mix now. LOL

I then asked Jan how the change was suiting her and if she felt a difference in atmosphere between her home and the town. Most definitely and she said said how difficult she'd found it to adjust the first time she'd come back to the Clinic after having some time off during the move and needing to protect herself more thoroughly when coming into the town. I can appreciate that: whenever we've been away on holiday, especially when it's been to the Lake District, it always takes me a while to settle back into my home - I always feel quite jangled, iykwim. We had a bit more chit chat, then Aureen was ready to leave, so I thanked her and said goodbye and see her on Tuesday. As she got to the bottom of the stairs and opened the door we both heard her say Oh! in an odd way and were just about to shout and ask if she was OK when we heard the door close behind her. Once I'd finished the conversation, paid Jan for my med and said goodbye and went to the door I found out why.... it was raining but it was just the tail end of what had been an absolute deluge. There were actual streams running down the gutters and paddling pools worth of puddles all over the place. Yuk!

I decided not to venture further down the street, especially as I was feeling quite tired, so just popped over to Tesco Express (jumping over the gutter streams and dodging the paddling pool puddles) to get a couple of things we needed, then headed home. DH had disappeared off to the Museum while I'd been gone - they are currently running an exhibition on the LTC, as they've just celebrated their 60th Birthday, and DS and a few of the other members had been helping out with the visitor event they were putting on that day. DS and the other members were all in costume from various performances they'd put on. I wouldn't have minded going to see it but the timings were all wrong for that.

After I'd put the shopping away and sat and did a crossword I realised just how tired I felt and started heading upstairs.... just as DH came throught the front door. A quick chat later and I carried on up the stairs, as I was really struggling to concentrate by this time - DH commented on that and said that I actually looked tired too - and went to bed for a couple of hours. It helped and I felt much better after that. I will have to ask Aureen just what she did, when I see her again. Not only because of the tiredness I'd felt.... but also because I've been feeling much brighter since. :0)

ACUPUNCTURE - 18TH MARCH

I had an 11.30am appointment this week, so I was up and sorted and out of the door by around 11.20, so I could have a steady walk down to the Clinic. It was a reasonable day, too, so it was quite pleasant out... though busy with traffic and people, with it being Market Day.

When I got there this week it was to find Anne in Reception again as G was still poorly and voiceless, Bless her. I had a quick chat with Anne until Janet came through to take me into Treatment Room 2: I needed to rewrite the cheque for the Shamballah Healing Course, as it should have been made out to the chaps business name and not his actual name (quickly sorted). She popped the cheque in the drawer for Jan to collect next time she was in.

Once settled Janet asked how things had been going this week. Not too great, actually: the hot flushes and especially the night flushes were being a bit of a bugger the last few days and I was having a few mood swings/dips.... and explained that my 28 day cycle was up that day, so that might have something to do with it. I said I didn't understand the mood dip otherwise, as I had had a brilliant weekend - she asked what I'd been doing and I told her about putting a deposit on the car and going to the M,B&S event and what Leonie had said about me being a natural and the lift that had given me. I told her I was going to be picking up the car Friday night and was looking forward to that, though a little nervous as it would bring a big change with it -  a necessary one, but I can't help but feel nervous about it.

She asked me how Circle went that week One word answer: cr*p. I felt that quite a bit of what I got was a rehashing of things that had come up before. She said that I seemed to be doing OK, mentioning the song from her Grandma and the Deidra things - yes, it seems I'm getting a bit more outside of Circle but I was bothered by the fact that I couldn't seem to give more back to the other girls. She took a few notes as I spoke and then asked: if I had to use one word to describe how I currently felt, what would it be? I thought a little and she said not to think about it, just say the first thing that came into my head. OK, that would be fed-up, then. Yes, I know - not strictly one word.... but it did sum up how I was feeling...... and it was more polite than the one I used earlier. LOL

Whislt Janet took my Chinese pulses I mentioned that we were also going to be visiting to my DSis's on the following Sunday and I was feeling slightly anxious about that and that I felt it was due to my DSis having a lot of bottled up anger, thanks to what had happened at work and the way Human Resources had handled it and how badly they were now dealing with her request for a letter of exoneration to be added to her work record, and I was really picking up on it. She noted my pulse results and said there was definitely some tension in there, though the pulse wasn't nearly as rapid as it had been previously. Whilst I was taking off my shoes and socks, hair scrunchie and specs and prepared to lay on the bed she asked if I had a strong bond with my DSis, then went to close the blind. Yes, despite the fact that when we were kids the three of us often used to try and half kill one another, we are very close. I told her about the morning I was taken into hospital with the severe abdominal pain: all the while I was in pain my DSis kept getting real bad twinges of pain in her stomach that almost had her keeling over (it got her and the staff really worried) then, just as suddenly as her pains had come they went.... right around the time that the morphine jabs had finally kicked in to ease the pain for me. She didn't get the pain again and realised why she had got it when my DH rang her up that night to tell her what had been happening (she has since told me that she's really glad I can't have any more babies..... she really didn't fancy going through labour with me ROFLMAO). Janet's reaction was: Wow, you really have got a link there. I told her my DSis really should be doing Development too, as she actually sees Spirits regularly - she doesn't want to though, as she doesn't want to have any more happening than what does already... it freaks her out, with her being on her own, so she tries to blank it.

Once on the bed she said she would mostly concentrate on the hormonal side and easing the tension. This time she applied needles to: all round my ankles; the ones for my liver, in the tops of my feet (stung again); the ones on either wrist (heart meridian); in the thumb crease and one in my head, about an inch and a half to two inches above my hair line. When I queried the lack of a third eye needle she said she wouldn't put one in there this time, as she felt this may now be over-stimulating my third eye, possible causing some of the Circle problems. She then warned me she was going to adjust a couple of the needles and to say when they "bit". it was the two in the tops of my feet again and they definitely bit. LOL I asked if I could have the silver foil thingy over me this week, in case I got as cold as last time....... she said she could do better than that this time and pulled out a lovely, thick cotton blanket. As I hadn't got any needles in my legs or torso it was possible to have the blanket on my body and legs and have the towel draped over my toes to keep them warm. Perfect! LOL With that she popped on the music, made sure I was settled, switched off the light and left me to relax.

Well, relax was definitely the operative word this week - the tension just seemed to drain away and I got so relaxed I almost fell asleep. In fact, if it hadn't been for someone somewhere in the building dropping something that made a loud clatter which startled me big time (really not good for my heart, that LOL) I reckon I would have nodded off. I don't remember any real revelations this week, just an image of a china cup and saucer for some reason.

It didn't seem two minutes before Janet came back into the room and asked how I felt. I had to give myself a big stretch and consciously engage brain before talking - and told her it was the most relaxing session yet and felt better. I mentioned the china cup and saucer and asked if it could be linked to her Grandmother. Janet said that she used to like to drink out of a proper cup and saucer but no, this was a proper fine china cup and saucer I'd seen. She said her Mum had to have different drinks out of certain types of cups.... then she mentioned that, actually, she had a really pretty china teacup and saucer, decorated with flowers, that was on display in her home. Another one of those random things that come to me... a small hit. :0) Whilst we were talking Janet removed the needles.... and this time there wasn't a problem removing the ones from the tops of my feet, though I defintitely felt a slight "popping" sensation when they came out.

After seeing I was OK and ready to sit up and get myself sorted and checking if I wanted another session the following week, Janet said goodbye and went off to let Anne know and get the other room ready for her next client. I had a few sips of water and put my things back on, then went out to reception. I made my next appointment and paid for the session, then Anne told me that the lady who had been due in for a Reiki session before me on Saturday had rung to cancel - would an earlier appointment be of use to me? I realised I was the last booking of the day, so asked if that meant that Aureen could go home sooner if I did - it did, so I said OK. It didn't make a huge difference to my plans but it would give Aureen chance to do more afterwards. With that I said my goodbyes and headed for the door.

First stop, as usual, was the Hospice Bookshop and this was my find this time:

Past Life Regression is something I am really curious about and have been considering doing at some point.... providing I can find someone I can trust enough to do it. Am hoping the book can answer some of the questions I have about the process.

From there I headed on down to the market. Unfortunately the Craft Stall lady didn't have any more boxes in yet, it would be another couple of weeks before they arrive - time for patience then. I had a quick scoot around the rest of the stalls and got myself a punnet of bargain strawberries at just £1.00. Hunger had started to kick in by now so I started heading back up the High Street, first calling in at the Greengrocers for some diabetic biscuits... and discovered that they now stock some small Nak'd bars, so added a few of those to my basket too. After paying I headed to Tesco Express for a couple more items, then carried on home. Once there I put my buys away, got changed and made myself some lunch.

I thought I was going to have a quiet day after that. Wrong! A knock at the door revealed a chap, friend to Corus Pete next door, enquiring about DS's old Mini - apparently Pete had mentioned it was for sale and his DS had decided he'd like one after seeing the one he'd bought for his DD. I gave him my DS's mobile number as I didn't know any details about what it had failed its MOT on or how much he was asking for it. He promised to phone DS - though I did warn him he may not answer it, with being at work, and if he didn't he would phone him back later. You could have knocked me down with a feather when a second chap knocked within the hour, also enquiring if the Mini was for sale. He gave me his mobile number so DS could phone him later. A third knock around half an hour later had me wondering what was going on.... though this time it was the postie with some packages. If it had been a third enquiry it would have seriously freaked me out. Why? Because only a few days beforehand I'd been thinking that we could really do with selling the Mini, to get it out of the way and make more room, ready for my new baby arriving.... and I'd casually thought (nope, hadn't even said it aloud) that it would be nice if this could happen soon...... and along come these two chaps. :0)

Unfortunately the first chap was only willing to offer silly money and the second chap dropped out after initially saying he would have it (though that wasn't a surprise, to be honest). But along came a phone call from one of DS's work colleagues on Friday (DS had booked the day off) to ask if he could come and view the Mini.... and he offered a more reasonable sum. DS is now thinking about it.... fingers crossed he decides to take the offer, as I don't think he'll get a better one at this point. Meantime I've thanked the Universe for the help. :0)

ACUPUNCTURE - 11TH MARCH

Back to a Thursday for my regular acupuncture session this week - I am definitely happier with it being on this day, rather than on a Tuesday, as I can take my time.... and it means I get out twice a week. :0)

This week Anne was receptionist and, as Janet was still dealing with a client in Treatment Room 1, she took me into Treatment Room 2 for a natter.... after I handed over a cheque as deposit for the Shamballah Healing Course I'm taking in May. It's always good to chat to her and this time it was really useful, as she gave me her DH's card - he's a joiner who has been in the business for donkey's years.... and it's always useful to know someone in the trade. :0)

Janet came through before we had chance to settle in for a really long chinwag, so Anne went back to reception whilst Janet got my notes, then asked how things had been going. Well, Circle still isn't going well as far as Clairvoyance is going but the meditation side of things does seem to be getting better. I told her about the meditations we'd done: how meeting myself etc had been emotional and that I felt there were still some things to be dealt with there and the very vivid visualisation of my Safe Place. It seems the third eye is beginning to benefit....so I'll happily put up with getting a needle jabbed into it every week. LOL She said that I hadn't been doing so badly with the Clairvoyance and pointed out the "hit" I'd had with her and her grandmother. That was good... but things hadn't gone quite so well since, barely getting much of anything and never really knowing who it's for. She said that that was often the way and that I might find that some messages I get will, invariably, be for myself. I laughed and said that that might be happening already and told her about the young girl and Deirdra. She also thought that it was a message for me and said it would be interesting to see what unfolded. from it.

She asked how my stomach and the anxiety had been. I told her about not having been well, due to some kind of bug kicking off the evening after the session, and having to call off the visit to my DSis's, as I'd spent the best part of two days in bed. She told me that if you have an acupuncture session session early enough when you're coming down with something, it helps to kickstart your immune system into action to fight it. This results in you not feeling very well for a day or two, then being OK....... whereas, if you hadn't have had the acupuncture, you may well end up being ill for one or two weeks. I did seem to get over it a lot quicker than I have done in the past, so feel there's some truth in it. Once I started to feel better my stomach improved and the anxiety soon disappeared. Guess you can call that a goos result. :0)

She then asked how the hot flushes/sweats had been. Reasonable, although I'd had a couple of belters the previous couple of days. I told her about running out of the herbal medicine I'd been taking and going on to take some red clover leaf extract capsules instead, along with a Vitamin C supplement - I was also going to add in a Vitamin E capsule, as that should also help with those. I'm also adjusting my diet slightly, to try and help. I've already done much of what is recommended (cutting out alcohol and caffeine in all forms and generally eating healthier, thanks to the Candida diet I've stayed on) but tweaking the protein (eating less of it) and the carbohydrates (eating a little more) and generally eating more veggies also helps. It's a case of waiting and seeing what affect this has, once my body gets used to it. Janet said she could adapt the treatment to help too.

With this she took my Chinese pulses: they weren't as rapid as they'd been the previous week, which was good, but there was still signs of imbalance there. The upshot was that she would be adapting the treatment to help cool my blood and this should help sort out those tropical moments, these beig extra to the needles that were for the hormonal and Spiritual things. This week I could keep my top on but I would need to roll my sleeves back, so she could get to my elbow area, but I would need to take off my shoes, socks and jeans. The day had been warmer so I wasn't wearing the thermal longjohns this week.... that made things a tad easier. LOL After closing the blinds she left the room while I got myself sorted and settled myself on the treatment bed.

When she came back in she set about inserting the needles: ones in the fleshy areas around my knees, all the ones around my ankles and in the tops of my feet; the heart meridian ones in my wrists; extra ones either sides of the thumb creases in both hands and one in each arm, close to the elbow crook; the final one in my third eye. Again, some of the needles I barely registered whilst others stung quite a bit and I could feel those slight shifts inside my body that tell me the energy is moving.... and I had to consciously make myself relax, as I tensed up a little as it happened. The third eye needle had the usual effect of making me feel slightly whoozy. Once I'd relaxed my muscles Janet adjusted a couple of the needles, after telling me to say when they "bit". Yep, I definitely let her know, as it does give a bit of a belt when she does that. Back to getting my muscles to relax once again and, once this was done, she switched on the CD, adjusting it to a comfortable level, switched off the light and left me to chill out.

Chill out was the operative word..... those blood cooling needles really worked, as I started to feel decidedly chilled some way into the treatment, despite the heater being full on.... and one of the needles in my left hand, close to the thumb crease, really started to bother me. In fact my hand started to ache badly along the palm and up to my little finger, so I had to lay my arm down on the bed, by my side, to give it some ease. I'd not had that happen before and wasn't too sure what to do but, as Janet had gone into the other Treatment Room with another client, I decided to persevere. It was very distracting though, as was feeling so cold, so it was impossible to relax properly and drift with the music as I would have liked to have done. Of course, these days, one of the side effects of feeling chilled is the effect it has on my bladder.... as in, I always desperately need to pee. So it was a definite relief when Janet eventually came back into the room. LOL

She asked how I was so I told her about being chilled, badly needing to pee and the hand hurting. She asked where exactly it was hurting and I showed her and she said that that was exactly where the meridian ran, which was why it hurt there. She did tell me what that needle was treating but I've since forgotten - I do know that as soon as she said it, it explained why it was playing up. She did say that the room did feel a little cold to her, although the heater was on...... but I guess the cooling effect of the needles was most likely the culprit (although I have since wondered if I had also had a "visitor", as it was exactly the same chill effect La and I had felt when a Spirit had been stood behind us both). As I was so desperate for the loo she quickly removed the needles, checked when I wanted to make my next appointment (to let Anne know), said goodbye and left so I could get my gear back on. I didn't hang around - as soon as I'd got my socks, jeans and shoes on I shot out to use the facilities. Boy, was that a relief!

After going back into the room to grab the rest of my stuff I went back out to see Anne.... who was highly amused by all this. I was too, once my bladder was empty! LOL I told her about how chilled I'd been and she said that I should have shouted, as she would have got a blanket to cover me. I said I'd remember that for next time it happened. I booked my next appointment for the following Thursday, got a herbal tea and some Vitamin E capsules and paid my dues, then said my goodbyes and headed for the door.

This week I headed for the Hospice Bookshop again and found these two useful books:

Both will help me gen up in these two areas... and at a £1.00 each they were too good a bargain to miss. :0)

After that I headed for the market.... though I was now feeling quite hungry, so wasn't going to hang around. Unfortunately the craft stall hadn't got any of the boxes left that I wanted, though they did have some peel-off boxes, so I bought one of those, as I knew I could use it for organising other bits for my Craft Room. The stallholder said she would be getting more of the A4 sized ones in shortly, so I said I'd be back again another week. A quick scan round the rest of the market, adding a punnet of strawberries to my haul, then I headed back up the High Street, via the Post Office so I could post a package. I had a quick call in at the Library to ask the Adult Education folks if they still ran Yoga classes, as I feel these would be of benefit to me: apparently not, any more - due to funding restrictions they are now only allowed to offer classes that result in gaining a qualification certificate. How stupid is that? The lasy did suggest that I ask at the Leisure Centre.... but that's in town and I don't go there very often, so I shall have to find the phone number and give them a ring.

Once home I put the shopping away and then made myself some overdue dinner. Once that had been eaten I popped to the nearby Pet and Garden shop to get some wild bird seed, came back and put that in the storage tub, then set about filling the feeders. It seemed very slightly warmer out there than of late, though I didn't hang around for too long. By this time I had begun to feel a bit tired, so I realised it had been another reasonably intensive treatment, so took it easy from then on..... and was relieved not to have to go to Circle afterwards.

ACUPUNCTURE - TUESDAY 2ND MARCH

I changed my appointment back to Tuesday this week, as the intention is to go and spend a few days with my DSis this week. Luckily the appointment was for 1.30pm, making it slightly less of a rush for me to have my evening meal and get ready for Circle afterwards.

When I arrived this time it was to find Jan back in the receptionist's chair. I gave her a cheery greeting and asked how the move had gone.... not well, judging by the hassles that occurred on the day. It seems to have had a knock on effect, as she was obviously not having a very good day and was quite fraught. I was glad I'd put up quite a good psychic barrier before leaving the house, otherwise it would have really affected me.... as it was I just felt a little tense, nothing more. Jan then asked if it was OK to move my next appointment from a morning session to an afternoon one - I was the first in and the session was to have been in Treatment Room 2 but that would be needed for a colonic for the next session in there, which would mean the colonic machine would be whirring and buzzing away. I didn't really fancy the distraction of that, as I find the ticking clock in there a bit of a niggle anyway (I can't stand hearing ticking clocks and refuse to have any in the house). The appointment won't be until 3pm, so it will give us chance to do a few things beforehand. Then she told me that the Shamballah Healing workshop was now being held a weekend later than previously planned, as a couple of people couldn't make the first proposed weekend. It doesn't make any difference to me - we aren't going away on our regular May holiday with my DSis this year, so it's not a problem. The workshop is getting close now, so she asked if I could take my deposit cheque in next week. I so hope I do better at this than I've been doing at Circle just lately! All the other attendees are already qualified healers of some kind... I'm the only newbie at this. It's still being held in Jan's new home - I told her it would be lovely to see it in person, after seeing the estate agent pics she showed me. :0)

Janet was ready by this time so she showed me through to Treatment Room 2 (minus colonic machine noises today LOL). She sat down and asked me how I'd been. Well, from around Sunday my stomach had kicked off again, complete with the anxiety sensations that always seem to accompany it and I explained what had been happening. I told her I was supposed to be going to my DSis's home to stay with her for a few days, from Wednesday until the weekend, something I'd done before and thoroughly enjoyed, so couldn't understand why I should get these feelings when I'm going to be doing something I've been looking forward to. It's not only perplexing but also frustrating. There were also a couple of current things that seem to be getting to me more than usual.... so much so that my DS's response was to ask me what bug had crawled up my ass. Charming!

Janet is the first person who has told me that she wasn't surprised I was getting the anxiety sensations along with the stomach problems and told me that they are energetically linked. She asked me where the anxiety sits and I placed a clenched fist around my solar plexus Chakra area, as it's a good way of showing what it feels like too. She said I wasn't the only person that she's treating who also has these anxiety feelings attached to stomach problems, though with the other lady (no names or particular circumstances mentioned) the anxiety was lower in her stomach and she usually also had pain with hers. I don't get pain, just niggles and general discomfort.... and that bloody awful anxious feeling. She asked me a few more questions and I answered her, then she took my Chinese pulses and wrote the results down.

She turned to me and said OK, your pulse is a little raised - nothing to worry about but it was in keeping with what was going on with my Qi energy at the moment, showing that it was out of balance. I wasn't surprised it was out of balance, as I told her I felt a little out of kilter (not as badly as I've felt at other times but enough to let me know something isn't right). She said that although the current things were bothering me they were actually acting more like a trigger to the older stuff that was in there. She likened it to having a pressure cooker sat inside my body... everything was OK whilst the lid was fastened tight but occasionally, as was the case now, the lid slightly pops and lets a burst of emotional "steam" out from these previous issues. Instead of being contained within the heart meridian, the proper channel for emotional issues, mine had burst out into other areas.... affecting the liver and gall bladder and hormonal channels (explaining why the hot flushes were becoming a bit more noticeable again). She explained that it didn't mean that I hadn't been addressing these older issues (I've been doing a lot of releasing and cutting cords during Reiki sessions, with Aureen's help) but that it points to the fact that though I've been letting go of a lot it has left some residual energy in place.... and that is what is affecting me and it takes a while to disperse it. She didn't need to know what the issues were - just asked if she was right. It fits and I told her so and, thinking about it later, felt she couldn't have picked a better analogy; although I've done a lot of letting go it does still feel like thoughts from the past just bubble up out of nowhere at times.

Janet said not to worry and that she would do some work to help with this which would complement what Aureen is doing within the Reiki sessions. This week I would need to take my shoes and socks off, leave my jeans on but take my top off, as she would need to place some needles along the upper body meridians. OK, you're gonna see my rolls - hope you're prepared for that, says I. LOL She closed the shutter, then left the room whilst I got myself ready and laid on the treatment bed.

When she came back and had washed her hands she started to place the needles. This week there were the usual ones around my ankle areas, one in the top of either foot (liver), one either side of my belly button (compared to the blood thinning jabs I had in hospital these were nothing LOL), several up the centre of my body, including under and just above my breastbone, the regular ones in either wrist, one in my right ear and the usual one in my third eye Chakra. Most barely registered when they were put in: minor twangs from the wrist (way better than the first time), minor from the ear one (definitely way less than the left ear!), a couple of good belts from the liver ones in the tops of my feet and the third eye one, once again, made me feel slightly woozy as soon as it went in. I mentioned that I'd tensed up a little once the needles were in place and wasn't sure why. She came to my head and applied gentle pressure to several points on my face and head and then whispered to me that whilst I was in the room having treatment I was to know that I was perfectly safe and nothing could harm me - any tension from outside the room couldn't enter, so I was OK to relax, which I did. She said that when I had completed the treatment I would be left more open than usual, so she recommended that I take time to sit and drink a little water, then visualise myself being filled and surrounded by white light energy and, when I felt this process was completed, I was to surround myself with a strong psychic protection barrier, so the fraught feelings wouldn't affect me when I came out. I'd planned on putting up protection anyway, so this confirmed what I'd been thinking. After making sure I felt OK she checked the liver needles and said that she was just going to adjust them and that I was to let her know when they surged - she tweaked them and I let her know, as I got quite a strong belt from each. It's not pleasant but it does let her know when the needles are working well. With that she turned on the music, a New Age Peruvian blend that I like, and left me to relax for twenty minutes.

This time I didn't feel I really got anything psychically - no mental pictures or particular thoughts or messages - but what I did get was a much more relaxing sensation and feelings of calm and peace, which were more in line with what I get from a Reiki session. Unexpected, as I hadn't really felt this before, but certainly very welcome. :0)

I was surprised when Janet came back in and said that it hadn't felt like twenty minutes at all... a sure sign of how relaxed I felt. I told her that if she'd left me much longer I reckoned she might just have come back in and found me asleep. LOL She was pleased as this showed her that the treatment had worked well. She set about removing the needles and all was fine until she came to the liver one in my right foot: it twinged a little and she immediately let it go, saying that it was still working so she would leave it be for a while. I asked her how she knew/what the difference was: apparently when the needles have done their work they "pop" out easily but when they are still working they have a different feel to them, as they resist the pull out, gently pulling the skin up to a peak around them. She tried to show me but I didn't have my specs on and couldn't see that far away without them (I'm very short-sighted) but I could feel the pull on my skin. A few seconds later she tried again and I felt it pop out. Again it's a good sign that the treatment is working, as it shows that my Qi is pulling in what it needs and is trying to balance itself.

Once the needles were out Janet made sure I was OK then reminded me about taking my time and doing the protection before leaving. She asked about next weeks appintment and I said I'd like to move it back to Thursday again, as I would be back from my DSis by then, so she said goodbye and went to tell Jan. I sat up carefully and made sure I felt OK before I stood up as, being that relaxed, it can make me a bit wobbly on my pins sometimes. All was OK so I got my bits of clothing back on, then sat in the chair and drank some water from my bottle. After a few moments I did the white light visualisation and protection, as advised. When I felt all was properly in place I gathered my coat and bags and headed out to reception. Jan seemed a little more relaxed, though still not back to her usual self. I made my next appointment and paid my dues, mentioning about looking for a car at the weekend and she asked if I'd had any success - none, but at least I'd got a better idea of which cars I didn't like and which ones I'd feel OK to drive... and the search was still on. With that I said my goodbyes and headed for the door.... just as Gail, the receptionist, opened it. She waited until I came down and told me that, unfortunately, she couldn't make it to Circle that night as she was working late - she would let Aureen know. I said it was a shame but she said she would be able to make it the following week, so I told her I was pleased and would see her then.

This week I headed straight home, partly because I wanted to chill a little before it was time to make my evening meal but also because a touch of tiredness had crept in - the treatment had been, as Janet explained, an intensive one, and I was beginning to feel it.