Jan was the receptionist today, though I didn't have much time for a natter before Aureen called me into Treatment Room 2. As I was putting my bag down and taking off my coat Aureen asked how I was. I told her about my reaction to G's news, the upset, the acupuncture treatment, the special dates (birthday and anniversary) and how I was feeling then. I was still feeling emotional, as I got upset a bit again, and then a little cross with myself. As I said to her: with my beliefs about the afterlife, and the proof I've had, why am I still grieving? Her answer was simple: because I miss their physical presence. She then explained that hanging on isn't letting them progress to the next level and I said I knew that and it was another cause of frustration and anger with myself, as I don't want to be the cause of holding them back.
Aureen said that she would perform psychic surgery again, as it seemed she hadn't got it all previously.... and perhaps some of it had grown back. With that I had taken off all my jewellery (bar my crystal pieces) shoes, specs and scrunchie and got on the treatment bed, where Aureen covered me up with the blanket.
Soon after starting the treatment Aureen asked me which Chakra it was in and immediately I said heart, as I'd thought this even before she'd asked. She asked what it looked like: a ball of wool, but not the neat and tidy ones you buy from the shop - this was more like those untidy, self-wound balls of yarn that go in all directions. I thought that was it but then said that I felt that some of the tendrils from it were reaching into my throat Chakra too, as I couldn't always talk about some of it (certainly not to my DSis). When she asked me what colour it was I was initially unsure and said so, then I could clearly see it: it was mostly black, but shot through with red and told her that the red was for anger. She said it was OK, to just relax now, as she had called on Archangels Rafael and Michael and they were there helping.
Part way through the session I could feel tears start to trickle down my cheeks and I brushed them away. Aureen stopped long enough to hand me a tissue, then carried on. a while after, when the tears had stopped, I heard Aureen's voice telling me that it was alright and my heart Chakra was being filled with lots of pink light: I knew this, as I could see it swirling behind my eyelids - not the usual vivid pink, a gentler colour, along with lots of spring green (the Chakra colour). I could feel myself become more and more relaxed as the session went on and was almost on the point of zoning out into sleep when it ended.
Aureen gently touched me on the shoulder and asked if I was OK. I said I didn't have that definite feeling of something having been removed, as I did previously, but I did have the same shell-shocked sensation, a sure sign of what she had been doing. She told me that she had removed it, pulling out the tendrils from my throat, and that it had been extremely heavy - this she had passed over the Archangels Michael and Rafael, for them to take up into the Universe and transform it, whilst she then filled everywhere with pink light. I told her about seeing this and also that I had seen my Mum and Dad's faces.... and that I had said goodbye to them. She was pleased this had happened and that I'd been able to do this. She then told me she'd seen my Guide. I told her that I knew he had been there, as I'd seen him too: this time he had been wearing the moccasins and leggings I'd seen him in previously but this time he'd appeared to be bare-chested, apart from a beaded breastplate; I'd seen his face a little more qucily before seeing his dark hair in a single braid; instead of the full eagle feather bonnet on his head there were two feathers.... and as soon as I saw them I heard the words Two Feathers repeated three times. Aureen smiled and said: well now you know his name. So my Spirit Guide is called Two Feathers. :0)
Aureen then told me that she had been really surprised because when she'd seen my Guide he'd spoken to her. He'd said: My daughter is not just grieving for her parent's in this lifetime, my daughter also grieves for her parent's in another lifetime. He then told her that I'd had a previous life as a Native American.... and during that life I'd witnessed my parent's being killed in front of me. I'd carried the trauma of that over with me into this incarnation, so when my Mum and Dad died it had triggered the previous loss and that was why I am grieving so hard.... and why it feels like a part of me died when they did. She told me that, as well as doing the psychic surgery removal she had also rescued that part of me.
As I listened it felt as if several things clicked into place. I told her that it just seemed to make sense, and that it also explained a couple of things from my childhood. Whenever I was swinging on a swing I always imagined myself, and clearly saw the mental image, of myself as a Native American girl galloping on a pinto pony across a wide open plain - I later put this down to a good imagination but now wonder if it had been an actual past life memory. If ever we watched cowboy films and there was an attack on a Native American village I would get really indignant and say it was so wrong... I was always on the side of the NA's. Then there would be the state I would get into if I ever thought about my parent's dying. Yes, children do go through a phase of thinking about this but this was more than that and I would get into a real panic about it..... until I eventually learnt to block it out. It seemed to confirm a few things for Aureen, as she nodded. It also explains why the previous psychic surgeries haven't fully excised everything and why it keeps building up again.
What she said next gave me pause for thought: she would have to perform psychic surgery on me again during my next session. This time she would treat the past life trauma and heal it, as it was still affecting this lifetime, and to ensure that I don't carry it over with me into any future incarnations. OK, I understand the need for this.... but flippin' heck, the psychic surgery I've been through for this lifetime's problems have been pretty heavy - goodness knows what that is going to be like!
By this time I'd had a few sips of water and felt up to moving, so I climbed off the bed and started putting my bits and pieces back on and Aureen recommended that I take it easy for the rest of the day and have a lie down at some point. It was almost time for her next client, so I gathered everything together, thanked her and went out to reception. Jan took me into Treatment Room 1 for a chat. I told her what had been revealed by the session.... and she told me about her own past life memory and how her father from that lifetime had become her Guide. We discussed how the menopause treatment was going and I asked if she could make up some more of the herbal mix for me, as I was finding that the combination of the herbal mix and acupuncture was, in the main, working well together - I get the occasional glitch when I'm not feeling well or if I haven't had soya milk daily... and spicey foods can trigger a few flushes too. As she made up my mix we chatted a little about the upcoming Healing Course and, as it was being held in her home and Jan was feeding us each lunchtime, she double-checked what I could and couldn't eat, so I told her that I was still basically doing the Candida diet, as it suited me so well.
When the mix was ready I made my next appointment and paid my dues, thanked her and left. I didn't bother with anything else but went straight home... to an empty house, as DH and DS were out. After I'd had a quick bite to eat and sat looking through a magazine I soon realised that the recommendation to have a lie down was more of a necessity. Just as I was heading up the stairs my DH arrived home. After a quick hello and chat about what he'd been doing and what had happened with Reiki he soon realised I was struggling, so he helped me upstairs and made sure I settled OK, then left me to sleep..... for two solid hours.
A bit later, as we were sat eating our Saturday night take-out curry, I told DH that, about a month or so after my op, I'd got the sensation of not feeling quite right: beforehand I'd been buzzing with energy, getting lots done and, mostly, quite positive but afterwards.... well, I was certainly more subdued, been taking life really seriously and just didn't quite feel like "me". I felt that hadn't got anything to do with the missing ovaries and lack of monthlies, as I was glad to see them go and stop causing me problems..... I'd been looking forward to menopause and finally embracing my Crone years. Whilst I still didn't quite get the feeling of having had something removed during the psychic surgery I could now sense that something had changed and felt I was more like the real "me". He said that I certainly seemed a lot calmer than recently, though often was after Reiki.
I guess only time will tell as to whether or not it has made a real difference. :0)
1 comment:
A good treatment session for you.
{{big hug}}
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